I need, a lot, of help.

[talitore]

Hello, I have a few questions.

At my two year point, I did what a lot of Navy Nukes do, I star re-enlisted. I got an SRB in the amount of ~$48k.
That's about 19k up front, after taxes. Shortly after, 6 months maybe, I was discharged, Honorably, do to an Alcohol treatment, failure.

As I'm sure you've guesses, I got a check in the mail, for about 28,000, owed to the DoD. I'm guessing my initial bonus was added in there.

I am 22, husband, and father of one. I did pick up a decent job working at the county water plant, making about $20/hr.

My question is simple. Is there anything I can do to reduce, or not have to pay this exorbirant amount. They want it back in 3 years. Heh, needless to say, its not going to happen. If there are any resources or anything anyone can do to help, please, point me in the right direction.

I have not searched these forums for an answer to my question, I apologize if it has been answered before. I really don't have the time to look. Wife and I are working off hours of each other to prevent a babysitter.

Thanks in advanced.

[thenukeman]

Harsh But true Broadzilla.  I seen sometimes  a person needs to be kicked 3 or 4 times to the ground to finally get back up on their own.  There should be some local VA support, plus check on the net.  Dial some numbers until you get somebody that can help.  Bankruptcy from this may be an option , but hey I am not a lawyer.  If I was in your situation and just got out in your situation that is what I would do.  But I do not know your exact situation but basically 28,000 out of 120,000 is a chunk.  You could write them back tell them your situation and ask them to extend it to 6 years and work out a payment and see what they say. I bet they rather get the money than write it off.   

[talitore]

It is about taking care of my wife who has done a second round of chemo. Money is nill to that.

[thenukeman]

Like I said I do not know your situation. Write them telling them your situation would be my first option.  Suggest a payment that is reasonable.

[Nuclear NASCAR]

I don't speak directly from the same experience you have, just many years of living.  It sounds like you got a bill rather than a check.  I don't know of any way to reduce or eliminate what you owe.  What you probably need to do is to sit down and figure your finances and see what you CAN afford monthly. 

In life, most anything is negotiable.  The main thing to know is the answer to any questions you'll be asked.  While I'm sure you're a nice guy that won't get you anywhere when negotiating with a creditor which is what you're doing.  Are they offering you repayment without interest if you repay within the 3 years?  If so you may not get the same offer if you are able to extend the payoff time.  You also need to understand and accept that you won't get an income tax refund UNTIL the debt is repaid.  Uncle Sam will get his back ahead of anyone else, that is guaranteed.

Bottom line, you owe it and you'll have to pay it back.  Figure your budget to see how quickly you can pay it back before you call them and most of all, DON'T put it off!  You might be able to take a week, from the time you received your notice, but I wouldn't wait any longer than that.  This is a case of being pro-active and saving your credit rating. 

I understand your situation somewhat also.  23 1/2 years ago I had just started at my present job, my first with benefits.  14 days after I started my benefits I found out my stepson had leukemia.  I fully understand that it brings your world to a screeching halt and very little else matters.  People are still understanding and will take your situation into account.  The main thing is to communicate early and often.  I am also a recovering alcoholic and celebrated 21 years sober last month.  Keep your support network close especially during this time. This is some advice I cold have really used 22 years ago.  I'll be keeping you and yr family in my prayers.

Don't mind Broadzilla.  He's just one of the great assets this site has and just has the expectation that people do some of their own research first. 

Peace,
Tom

[wlrun3]

   ..."I am 22"...

   ...you are rich...

   ...you just don't know it...

   ...these are the times that, looking back, will give you the greatest sense of satisfaction and purpose...

   ...i wish i were you and had it to do all over again...

   ..."if i could give you anything it would be a passion for anything or any body that could go the distance. I never had the strength to fail with you. I missed so much." Bernard Slade, The Tribute...






 

[talitore]

I just don't understand how they can expect someone to pay that amount of money back, in that little of time. Especially considering it was an honorable, and I was getting discharged in the first place.

[93-383]

20K$ repay in 36 months is around mid 500’s. That’s a big chunk of change but you probably need to figure out a way to do it. If your finances are truly in dire straights talk to an attorney. Don’t go to a dept buying service, currently you probably have no interest on the “loan” so pay it back in the 36 month time frame. If you do not pay it back it is likely that the IRS will take action to collect and that will ruin your credit rating (so will bankruptcy)

[wlrun3]

I just don't understand how they can expect someone to pay that amount of money back, in that little of time. Especially considering it was an honorable, and I was getting discharged in the first place.

   ..."living well is the best revenge"... Frank Sinatra

[PapaBear765]

Wow, if there's something I care more about than anything else is someone who screws up their life, via alcohol no less.  And this person can't even spell or write a complete sentence.

You're a nuke (were a nuke), you therefore sat in the the BEQ room at NNPTC for a week after graduating A School...it was called "Prevent."  Remember all of the inane things you were told that would help you in your life...like not drinking and driving, like not getting plastered the night before duty/work, etc.

I concur with Mike, your problem is your problem.  Don't post here expecting us to give you a hug and tell you that you're getting the shaft.  You're not.  You did this to yourself.

Good luck, get yourself some help.

[JustinHEMI]

Hello, I have a few questions.

At my two year point, I did what a lot of Navy Nukes do, I star re-enlisted. I got an SRB in the amount of ~$48k.
That's about 19k up front, after taxes. Shortly after, 6 months maybe, I was discharged, Honorably, do to an Alcohol treatment, failure.

As I'm sure you've guesses, I got a check in the mail, for about 28,000, owed to the DoD. I'm guessing my initial bonus was added in there.

I am 22, husband, and father of one. I did pick up a decent job working at the county water plant, making about $20/hr.

My question is simple. Is there anything I can do to reduce, or not have to pay this exorbirant amount. They want it back in 3 years. Heh, needless to say, its not going to happen. If there are any resources or anything anyone can do to help, please, point me in the right direction.

I have not searched these forums for an answer to my question, I apologize if it has been answered before. I really don't have the time to look. Wife and I are working off hours of each other to prevent a babysitter.

Thanks in advanced.

Number one, learn how to use commas.

Number two, call DFAS. They are very helpful and will be willing to work with you to set up a more feasible pay back plan. I had several young sailors with overages that had to be paid back, and DFAS was willing to work with them every time.

As far as you not paying back to the Country that which you owe, good luck on that. You didn't earn the money therefore you should, and in all likelihood will, have to pay it all back.

Justin

[JustinHEMI]

20K$ repay in 36 months is around mid 500’s. That’s a big chunk of change but you probably need to figure out a way to do it. If your finances are truly in dire straights talk to an attorney. Don’t go to a dept buying service, currently you probably have no interest on the “loan” so pay it back in the 36 month time frame. If you do not pay it back it is likely that the IRS will take action to collect and that will ruin your credit rating (so will bankruptcy)

That is not entirely true. They will charge interest on the debt owed, although it will not be much. 3-4%.

Justin

[Marssim]

I just don't understand how they can expect someone to pay that amount of money back, in that little of time. Especially considering it was an honorable, and I was getting discharged in the first place.

You should try defaulting on a mortgage, talk about people with unreasonable expectations!

I think you need a second job and I think you need to offer a repayment that you can live with and Uncle Sam will accept, before Uncle imposes something ugly on ya,...

They probably don't understand how you can expect to keep the money after failing in your obligated time on contract through something that was of your own doing and free choice, at least you got an honorable discharge out of the ordeal, after this debt is settled you still got that and the benefits it accrues down the road,...

good luck, maybe you'll win the lotto, not the big one, just enough to clear you out of this,...

come to think of it, you're free, American, have a good steady job with the county, a supportive wife working to help your family make it, and a little child to love, heck, you've already won the lotto,...

[Nuclear NASCAR]

I just don't understand how they can expect someone to pay that amount of money back, in that little of time. Especially considering it was an honorable, and I was getting discharged in the first place.

I'm sure if you check your paperwork that you've got language in there that specifies that you'll have to pay it back if you don't fulfill your obligation.  (Your reenlistment period)  That being said, work your way toward acceptance of your situation and then accept the advice given.  Read past those reminding you that you've made a mistake and show that you're ready to take responsibility for your actions. 

At this point in your life that is a ton of money to pay back, especially in that short of a time period.  Get in touch with your creditor, explain your situation, do your homework ahead of time, and see what you can work out.   Listen to Marssim, he is another of the great assets here.

[93-383]

That is not entirely true. They will charge interest on the debt owed, although it will not be much. 3-4%.

Justin

That kinda sucks.

Like others have said contact DFAS work out a payment plan DO NOT IGNORE this problem it will only get worse.

[NJ]

I commend you on asking for help.  I think there are some hard statements here that are true and some harsh.  You have a lot on your plate with your wife being ill and a young child.  The first thing you need to do is get into an AA group this is your first step.  You are young and can pick yourself up by the boot straps and make the best of your situation.  I was married to an Alcoholic and it is not what your wife needs now.  She has enough to worry about without worrying about you and what would happen to your little child.  She needs to know she can count on you to be there for her and the baby and if she doesn't make it you will be a rock.  The money will work out itself just make arrangements. Nothing is as important as your family. 
This man needs some support not criticism on his problem or his sentence structure.
Good luck to you and God bless you.

[JustinHEMI]

This man needs some support not criticism on his problem or his sentence structure.

Actually, he needs both.

Justin

[xobxdoc]

The Navy has or used to have a thing called Waiver of Indebtedness. I heard of this when the Navy breached my re-enlistment contract and I got out early. I paid back my bonus I wasn't entitled to but I knew of guys that utilized this. It sounds like you need an attorney that deals in Military affairs if your situation is the way you say. Sorry, I don't trust what alcoholics have to say. If what you say is true about your wife, get control of your life and do what is right for your family. Alcoholics suck the life out of themselves and everyone around them.

[Wanna Know Mom]

You have been given some good advice,Talitore. Hope you consider it.  I do have a suggestion for others who have just enlisted for Navy Nuke:  Consider investing every penny of your bonuses (sign on, previous college education, STAR, etc).  If you are not career Navy, don't plan to use this $$ until you have completed your oblígated service and have your DD214 in hand. If for any reason you must pay it back, it will be sad to see it go, but will not cause financial hardship. And, what a nice lump $$ to resume your civillian life with!     Kathy, VPNM

[talitore]

Thing is, I never started drinking until my wife was diagnosed with cancer. I know I f****d up. I don't need gun-ho punks to try and act like they know what I'm talking about and criticize me. The bigger problem is that all the money is gone. I payed for some experimental help that the Navy wouldn't cover.

If anyone here who is criticizing me thinks they know what they are talking about, stop it. You don't. I gave little information being a first post. I didn't ask for an argument, I asked for help. If you cannot give any, don't post.

Everyone who did try to help, thank you. I am looking into options now. I called DFAS, and they will set up a payment plan. They want me to pay 100 dollars/month and renew the plan every 6 months. That's barely enough to cover the 4% interest.

[thenukeman]

Good for you, Try to pay a little more than that a month to pay it off sooner.  Some of the people who are kicking you are trying to help  you at the same time.  I hate to say it  but about 50 percent of the people who get in a similar situation as you fall off the wagon and do more self destruction. Hopefully the Navy did you a favor by kicking you out.  I was an Officer in the Army. I covered  for my alcoholics more than I should have. I was a weak officer and should have looked at my higher ups for their examples.  They were tough and mean Colonels and Generals Who I thought were A holes being a Officer in my 20's.  But now I see for the most part they were right.  Some of the poster here do not want to be enablers and say how mean of the navy the navy sucks etc. Do you need a hug to feel better etc. Well it was your own demise, get use to it.  I hope you shape up and have a good life. Tell us in  six months and a year how you are doing.

[talitore]

No, you said you needed us to research YOUR financial problem because you didn't have the time. My take on that statement is who is this child and why should I care about a problem that isn't mine if he can't take the time to try to solve it himself. Plus the alcoholism, it's weak, I have no empathy for it regardless of the "cause".

Mike

Then don't respond. Easy.

[NJ]

I'm glad you contacted the DASF and have worked out a plan..Now you need to concentrate on your drinking problem.  Go to an AA meeting and get a sponsor.  Going the first time is tough but you have to help yourself.  I can remember my daughter crying her eyes out because her daddy went to jail.  Its hard for the mom to explain this..I also worried he would kill someone on his way home or himself.  Going to AA is not like this site..they are helpful and supportive.  BZ and others  you need to chill out on this man..he asked for help not for you to research his problem. This is an illness not just a f***up.
Best wishes and God Bless
NJ

[JustinHEMI]

Everyone who did try to help, thank you. I am looking into options now. I called DFAS, and they will set up a payment plan. They want me to pay 100 dollars/month and renew the plan every 6 months. That's barely enough to cover the 4% interest.

See, told you! At least it is something for now, until you can make more and more payments. At least you won't get in trouble. Congrats. I will pray for you and your wife too. But, don't be a douche. There are many people here that have gone through similar OR WORSE without further burdening the situation with alcohol, so if you can't take some criticism, grow up. Otherwise, keep holding out hope and being strong for your wife. That is the best thing you can be for he now.

Justin

[JustinHEMI]

I'm glad you contacted the DASF and have worked out a plan..Now you need to concentrate on your drinking problem.  Go to an AA meeting and get a sponsor.  Going the first time is tough but you have to help yourself.  I can remember my daughter crying her eyes out because her daddy went to jail.  Its hard for the mom to explain this..I also worried he would kill someone on his way home or himself.  Going to AA is not like this site..they are helpful and supportive.  BZ and others  you need to chill out on this man..he asked for help not for you to research his problem. This is an illness not just a f***up.
Best wishes and God Bless
NJ

Don't start on the illness BS. AA did nothing to save my brother from that drunk driving a$$hole.

Justin

[thenukeman]

Some Illness need a Good A Hole kickin in addition to other help. Enabling does not help.  I think this goes for Alcoholics, Druggies, Gamblers, Child Molesters, BiPolar, Attention defecit disorder etc.  I just wonder how many kids in school are called ADHD or BiPolar who just need a good parents and not enablers.  How many Druggies, Alcoholics, Gamblers would have been helped more by people saying it is your fault and you need to help yourself  before anyone can help you.  But with todays permissive society it is someone elses fault if you make a bad choice.

Talitore's last response,  Then don't respond. Easy.

Makes me believe he still does not get it and is in denial of his problem.

[Nuclear NASCAR]

Don't start on the illness BS. AA did nothing to save my brother from that drunk driving a$$hole.

Justin

Justin,

I'm sorry for the loss of your brother.  This does not make all alcoholics a**holes, though I know that I fall into that category much of the time myself.  Having hit the peak of my drinking when during the time that my stepson's leukemia progressed and soon after his death.  This lasted a little over a year after his death until I had my epiphany and realized that my choices were drink & die or quit & live.  My personal opinion is that it is an illness and if you care to discuss that I'll be more than happy to via PM. 

Back to the subject at hand, if you have useful advice give it.  If you're just interested in piling on and projecting your personal anger on someone looking for advice (Not singling you out Justin.  I respect you far too much for that) then type it out in your word processing program, get it out of your system, and delete it.  Though some of my experiences run close to talitore's I'd never assume that I can understand completely how he feels.  None of us should either.  You know what they say about assuming.

As to his last response meaning he's in denial, my take is that he's got enough going on without putting up with any extraneous sanctimonious pontification.  I find it difficult to believe the ragging he's receiving given the reason that he spent the money.  He could be in denial nukeman, or he just be tired with all that's on his plate.   

[thenukeman]

True he could be overloaded.  I hope he is not in denial.  He has taken the first step and got his money pay back situation under control.  hopefully he can get the rest of his life under control.

[JustinHEMI]

Justin,

I'm sorry for the loss of your brother.  This does not make all alcoholics a**holes, though I know that I fall into that category much of the time myself.  Having hit the peak of my drinking when during the time that my stepson's leukemia progressed and soon after his death.  This lasted a little over a year after his death until I had my epiphany and realized that my choices were drink & die or quit & live.  My personal opinion is that it is an illness and if you care to discuss that I'll be more than happy to via PM. 

Back to the subject at hand, if you have useful advice give it.  If you're just interested in piling on and projecting your personal anger on someone looking for advice (Not singling you out Justin.  I respect you far too much for that) then type it out in your word processing program, get it out of your system, and delete it.  Though some of my experiences run close to talitore's I'd never assume that I can understand completely how he feels.  None of us should either.  You know what they say about assuming.

As to his last response meaning he's in denial, my take is that he's got enough going on without putting up with any extraneous sanctimonious pontification.  I find it difficult to believe the ragging he's receiving given the reason that he spent the money.  He could be in denial nukeman, or he just be tired with all that's on his plate.   

I am not talking about alcoholics... just drunk drivers that were "in the program" but drank and drove anyway. But, that is neither here nor there. You are correct, I think we got off on a tangent here, and I apologize.  This has the potential of erupting into something we don't want, with the many different emotions surrounding this topic. We should stay on topic and offer him advice only about his financial situation, which is all he asked for.

But I did not piled on him about his alcoholism. My emotion was directed towards someone else, as I respect the fact that he is seeking help for he and his family. I only offered good advice which he took... and worked.

Justin

[PapaBear765]

Justin,

I'm sorry for the loss of your brother.  This does not make all alcoholics a**holes, though I know that I fall into that category much of the time myself.  Having hit the peak of my drinking when during the time that my stepson's leukemia progressed and soon after his death.  This lasted a little over a year after his death until I had my epiphany and realized that my choices were drink & die or quit & live.  My personal opinion is that it is an illness and if you care to discuss that I'll be more than happy to via PM. 

Back to the subject at hand, if you have useful advice give it.  If you're just interested in piling on and projecting your personal anger on someone looking for advice (Not singling you out Justin.  I respect you far too much for that) then type it out in your word processing program, get it out of your system, and delete it.  Though some of my experiences run close to talitore's I'd never assume that I can understand completely how he feels.  None of us should either.  You know what they say about assuming.

As to his last response meaning he's in denial, my take is that he's got enough going on without putting up with any extraneous sanctimonious pontification.  I find it difficult to believe the ragging he's receiving given the reason that he spent the money.  He could be in denial nukeman, or he just be tired with all that's on his plate.   

I think the lad's been given sufficient advice, and tough love, to navigate his way to success.  Now, if the discussion takes a turn towards some tangent, then let it be.  You moderators have a nasty problem of trying to fence in a discussion when it's obvious that more than a couple of people are interested in the tangent.

I have no sympathy for alcoholics.  For decades now society has been educated on the side affects of too much alcohol.  And people continue to ignore the warnings.  Therefore, it's not a disease (or any other cop out), it's a choice.  A choice to do what you're told is unwise.

No one needs to take it easy on this guy.  That might have been the problem with his life until now: no one telling him like it is.  No one telling him flat out he's in the wrong, that he's f.ing up his life.  Maybe all of us being so blunt about this issue will wake him up.  Just a thought.