Navy Nuke + a relationship

[cmcguffee]

I'm not really concerned with the difficulty of the nuclear program itself, I know it will be harder than anything I've ever done in my life. I just have the question of from any people with experience to this, is it really possible to maintain a relationship throughout the career? I'm really sorry if this question has been asked, and I know that you get almost no time off, but it seems like this is the hardest program in the military to maintain a relationship during. I just was hoping for a reasonable response with your opinion of yes or no. If it helps there would be marriage before beginning basic even.

[Gamecock]

I'm not really concerned with the difficulty of the nuclear program itself, I know it will be harder than anything I've ever done in my life. I just have the question of from any people with experience to this, is it really possible to maintain a relationship throughout the career? I'm really sorry if this question has been asked, and I know that you get almost no time off, but it seems like this is the hardest program in the military to maintain a relationship during. I just was hoping for a reasonable response with your opinion of yes or no. If it helps there would be marriage before beginning basic even.

It can be done if you are committed to each other.

I'm still serving....have been for 20+ yrs....

Married for almost 20 years.



Note:  There are numerous threads on this topic....




Seek (i.e. use the search function)  and ye shall find.

And, if you don't know where the above reference comes from......you probably should figure it out and read more of it before you get married....that's the real secret behind my marriage.

[Higgs]

http://www.nukeworker.com/forum/index.php/topic,7271.0.HTML
http://www.nukeworker.com/forum/index.php/topic,16817.0.HTML
http://www.nukeworker.com/forum/index.php/topic,16229.0.HTML
http://www.nukeworker.com/forum/index.php/topic,16178.0.HTML
http://www.nukeworker.com/forum/index.php/topic,13730.0.HTML
http://www.nukeworker.com/forum/index.php/topic,10694.0.HTML
http://www.nukeworker.com/forum/index.php/topic,8165.0.HTML

[Mike_Koehler]

In my case...... Not so much. But in truth we weren't ready for the difficulties of marriage (let alone Navy Marriage) then and the relationship probably would have failed on it's own.....

Mike

[DDMurray]

I got married six months after joining the navy, between EM A school and Nuke Power Pre-School (circa 1984).   I retired in December 2008.  Our 27th anniversary is in about 2 months.  There were challenges of course, but at the end of the day we just simply still dig each other.

The most important thing for a successful marriage is finding the right person.
The second most important thing for a successful mariage is being the right person.

[GLW]

It can be done if you are committed to each other.

I'm still serving....have been for 20+ yrs....

Married for almost 20 years.



Note:  There are numerous threads on this topic....




Seek (i.e. use the search function)  and ye shall find.

And, if you don't know where the above reference comes from......you probably should figure it out and read more of it before you get married....that's the real secret behind my marriage.

I got married six months after joining the navy, between EM A school and Nuke Power Pre-School (circa 1984).   I retired in December 2008.  Our 27th anniversary is in about 2 months.  There were challenges of courses, but at the end of the day we just simply still dig each other.

The most important thing for a successful marriage is finding the right person.
The second most important thing for a successful mariage is being the right person.

You just never know,...

I found the Nuclear Navy to be one of the easiest short journeys in my life,...

It's all laid out for you;

Show up, do as your told, perform, succeed, YMMV,...

I got married after I finished my quals at prototype and before my first submarine,...

For me the Navy was easy, it suited me,...

My wife,......not so much,...

I promised the Navy eight years and her forever,...

I EAOS'd at eight years,....

Her and I have been married over 30,...

I regret none of it,....

[Starkist]

GLW to each their own man. Its not so cart blanche like that. Not everyone gets a smooth ride. :p Its what you make of it, for sure.

[cmcguffee]

At the point of me actually joining we will have been together since I was a freshman, that's already better than most people in current times. I was just concerned more with how much time do you get to actually see each other throughout the entire process? As in, during the entire training there's obviously multiple parts, so do you get to see each other the same throughout, or different at different stages? Then, how long are you usually on a ship, or in a sub? I'm not really debating whether it's possible rather than how long I will want to stay in the military.

[Starkist]

At the point of me actually joining we will have been together since I was a freshman, that's already better than most people in current times. I was just concerned more with how much time do you get to actually see each other throughout the entire process? As in, during the entire training there's obviously multiple parts, so do you get to see each other the same throughout, or different at different stages? Then, how long are you usually on a ship, or in a sub? I'm not really debating whether it's possible rather than how long I will want to stay in the military.

If seeing your significant other is a major concern for you, perhaps the navy isnt the best choice. Truth sucks, but thats what it is.

Some make it, most do not. Harsh reality of deployments and the military in general.

[Mike_Koehler]

I was just concerned more with how much time do you get to actually see each other throughout the entire process? As in, during the entire training there's obviously multiple parts, so do you get to see each other the same throughout, or different at different stages? Then, how long are you usually on a ship, or in a sub?

One question at a time.....
During the training pipeline your amount of free time (time to spend with family or not) varies hugely with your class load and class average/qual status (from almost none to gee this isn't so bad). In the sub fleet you will get some time to be with your family while in home port (2 out of three nights home is about the best you can hope for there) and will spend as much as 300 days per year "out to sea" (fast attack, I can't speak to boomer schedules) or as little as 180 days deployed per year. During that time you will have little to no contact with family other than occasional e-mail, occasional snail mail and 50 word family grams. That was my experience on subs. It takes a very special couple to thrive with the stresses that it causes to tell the wife "You are in charge til I get back." and then over 1/2 year later when you return work back in to a "normal" family situation. This is something you should discuss with your lady and figure out what your role will be when you return.

Just my $0.02

Mike

[cmcguffee]

I'm not really doubting the relationship falling apart through this too much, I'm just not liking the idea of feeling like I'm never home. My dad was in the Navy, and I hated that, I don't want to be like that so I guess I'm thinking a lot about this. My problem is that my parents won't pay for my college so I'm left with no options really. Any other ideas for me? I just want to be successful, particularly in some sort of scientist or chemistry type job. I like playing with chemicals haha. So in a way this isn't just a "how will my relationship with a girl work" forum post, but more of a "what options do I have fitting this criteria" forum post.

[Starkist]

I'm not really doubting the relationship falling apart through this too much, I'm just not liking the idea of feeling like I'm never home. My dad was in the Navy, and I hated that, I don't want to be like that so I guess I'm thinking a lot about this. My problem is that my parents won't pay for my college so I'm left with no options really. Any other ideas for me? I just want to be successful, particularly in some sort of scientist or chemistry type job. I like playing with chemicals haha. So in a way this isn't just a "how will my relationship with a girl work" forum post, but more of a "what options do I have fitting this criteria" forum post.

Bear with me, its hard to pronounce.


"Stoo-oiu" "dent'" low" "enns"


Just a thought.

[retired nuke]

I'm not really doubting the relationship falling apart through this too much, I'm just not liking the idea of feeling like I'm never home. My dad was in the Navy, and I hated that, I don't want to be like that so I guess I'm thinking a lot about this. My problem is that my parents won't pay for my college so I'm left with no options really. Any other ideas for me? I just want to be successful, particularly in some sort of scientist or chemistry type job. I like playing with chemicals haha. So in a way this isn't just a "how will my relationship with a girl work" forum post, but more of a "what options do I have fitting this criteria" forum post.

Mmmmm. Your parents don't HAVE to pay for your college. Your problem is that you want someone else to do it. Get a job, save your money, apply for scholarships, work nights, take online classes, get loans, study hard..... you get the idea. You have plenty of options. If you want to be successful, you have to be willing to work for it. This isn't little league, where everyone gets a trophy. This is life.... you get what you put into it... The military will pay for college, but almost ALL military duty will involve hard work and inconvenience... I imagine that our troops in Afghan are not liking the feeling of never being home either.

 

[Papa Nuc]

Go apply to the state university wherever you have residence, and get student loans to pay your way through.  That is your cheapest option.  If you insist on a science degree, as a chemist I strongly urge you to go chemical engineer.  You will have many many options upon graduation.  Straight chemistry, not so much.   

[cmcguffee]

It's not like I don't work hard I'm straight A's in every type of band our school has and soccer. The job thing would work out and all, but at this age it's hard to earn enough money to get me through a college for that level of education. I haven't honestly looked into student loans too much, but they're seeming like my only option. That is if I set out to do something that interests m, and I feel I could honestly make a large contribution to. I love studying and the feeling I get from working hard, neither of those are the issue. I appreciate the assumptions that I haven't tried at all though, thanks. To the others, the ones whom actually left the option that I understand the basic rules of life, I sincerely thank you. Student loans are about to be my way to go thanks. Lastly though, any recommendations for nuclear education? Hopefully cheap, somewhere in the east coast, but if not I mean that's fine to. I'm pretty open to moving honestly. Also, I want more into lab work like an engineer for generating nuclear power, or just an engineer for designing nukes. Sorry, for asking so many questions, but these are pretty important things I need to know to be successful and what better place to ask?

[cmcguffee]

Also, I'm from Virginia, Newport News to be exact. I know about the military way more than enough. Just I know nobody personally that's a Navy Nuke. Well I do, but they live really far away.

[HydroDave63]

It's not like I don't work hard I'm #2. straight A's in every type of band our school has and soccer. The job thing would work out and all, but at this age it's hard to earn enough money to get me through a college for that level of education. I haven't honestly looked into student loans too much, but they're seeming like my only option. That is if I set out to do something that interests m, and I feel I could honestly make a large contribution to. I love studying and the feeling I get from working hard, neither of those are the issue. #1. I appreciate the assumptions that I haven't tried at all though, thanks. To the others, the ones whom actually left the option that I understand the basic rules of life, I sincerely thank you. Student loans are about to be my way to go thanks. Lastly though, any recommendations for nuclear education? Hopefully cheap, somewhere in the east coast, but if not I mean that's fine to. I'm pretty open to moving honestly. Also, I want more into lab work like an engineer for generating nuclear power, or just an engineer for designing nukes. Sorry, for asking so many questions, but these are pretty important things I need to know to be successful and what better place to ask?

1. Based on attention to detail in these meandering posts...uhh, you're welcome?

2. Doing well in Band, great. Start a emo garage band, get a AA at a community college for a decent backup career path and try for the Conservatory of Recording Arts & Sciences in Arizona. Why? Because engineering is competitive in this post-NAFTA globalized world, and since I'm not hearing 2 years of honors Calculus (don't worry, I don't have that either, that's why I'm not an engineer, and I'd bet a steak dinner you won't be either, but there are plenty of other respectable job fields out there that the rest of us inhabit) the odds of going from 5 post Nukeworker newbie to engineer are roughly Beta Bar.

As Clint Eastwood said in Magnum Force : "A good man always knows his limitations"

[Starkist]

Im going to read between the lines and assume you meant to say" I got straight a's, was in band, and did soccer as well" no?

Anyway, if you have straight As and had a good act why wouldn't you apply to get a scholarship??? If you didn't do well on act or sat, then nuke probably isn't your best option.



My suggestion to you is get the ball rolling. See if you even qualify for nuke first. Its a long long process and in the interim you can try to find a college to pick you up. If school is your major concern, join the airforce. Its not like nukes get a better gi bill then anyone else....

[GLW]

GLW to each their own man. Its not so cart blanche like that. Not everyone gets a smooth ride. :p Its what you make of it, for sure.

1293 days underway on nuclear power during a five year sea tour,...

how's that for smooth?!?!?

[cmcguffee]

I've strongly thought about the airforce actually, and since my school is an arts school, most scholarships are for art students. I'm in band, but I'm not really planning on a musical career. I like music, but not enough to be surrounded by it. Science on the other hand, I already surround myself with it. I'm just trying to figure out what I need to do before I have like a month left and I've got no plan for starting off my life at all. Also, about the calculus thing, isn't the point of being an engineer more of understanding things and improving them, not just having a title that says you passed a class. I understand that in the real world, with real jobs you need things like that, but there has to be some way to get around that. My academic rigor has been as difficult as possible, so it's not like I've just sat through high school. I wasn't able to take calculus, because of school switching and me being set back from the mixing school systems. Note that I wasn't set back because of failure, but because of not having the same exact title of math classes so my freshman year was spent not learning anything in math. That wasn't my fault and I definitely brought it up more than once, but "there was nothing they could do about it". I still have a year though that's more than enough time for online classes. I could learn calculus if I wanted, and I planned on it already. It just wouldn't be documented sadly.

[Papa Nuc]

I've strongly thought about the airforce actually, and since my school is an arts school, most scholarships are for art students. I'm in band, but I'm not really planning on a musical career. I like music, but not enough to be surrounded by it. Science on the other hand, I already surround myself with it. I'm just trying to figure out what I need to do before I have like a month left and I've got no plan for starting off my life at all. Also, about the calculus thing, isn't the point of being an engineer more of understanding things and improving them, not just having a title that says you passed a class. I understand that in the real world, with real jobs you need things like that, but there has to be some way to get around that. My academic rigor has been as difficult as possible, so it's not like I've just sat through high school. I wasn't able to take calculus, because of school switching and me being set back from the mixing school systems. Note that I wasn't set back because of failure, but because of not having the same exact title of math classes so my freshman year was spent not learning anything in math. That wasn't my fault and I definitely brought it up more than once, but "there was nothing they could do about it". I still have a year though that's more than enough time for online classes. I could learn calculus if I wanted, and I planned on it already. It just wouldn't be documented sadly.

In the real world you work your ass off to distinguish yourself from the 10^5 other guys with the same credentials as you.  Do you somehow plan to be the only engineer in the world with only readin' writin' and 'rithmetic under your belt?   

Academic rigor and high school have as much in common as turds and souffles.

I could be an astronaut if I wanted, it just wouldn't be documented sadly.

I'm trying to help you out here to face the reality of your circumstances.  Then you can start to form some goals, and then a plan to achieve them.

[cmcguffee]

O.K. well I have a lot of options really. I can go into a programming job seeing as I can write html and C++, I can try to pursue my science dreams, I can get into landscaping easily, and carpentry thanks to family businesses. My goal is just to get into some form of high paying job. I'm starting to view the programming as my best option though, I can ask my uncle specifically what I would need to become a co-worker of his. I already have a legal copy of VS2010, so I can work on specific things. I appreciate you trying to help though so continue I'm listening unless you have run out of things to add.

[cmcguffee]

Sadly I'm taking another career option quiz just for extra guidance without sharing everything about myself on this forum. I'm strongly looking towards the programming though like I said it interests me, and sure I have to go to meetings all the time, but they're short so it's not too big of a deal.

[MacGyver]

I've strongly thought about the airforce actually, and since my school is an arts school, most scholarships are for art students. I'm in band, but I'm not really planning on a musical career. I like music, but not enough to be surrounded by it. Science on the other hand, I already surround myself with it. I'm just trying to figure out what I need to do before I have like a month left and I've got no plan for starting off my life at all. Also, about the calculus thing, isn't the point of being an engineer more of understanding things and improving them, not just having a title that says you passed a class. I understand that in the real world, with real jobs you need things like that, but there has to be some way to get around that. My academic rigor has been as difficult as possible, so it's not like I've just sat through high school. I wasn't able to take calculus, because of school switching and me being set back from the mixing school systems. Note that I wasn't set back because of failure, but because of not having the same exact title of math classes so my freshman year was spent not learning anything in math. That wasn't my fault and I definitely brought it up more than once, but "there was nothing they could do about it". I still have a year though that's more than enough time for online classes. I could learn calculus if I wanted, and I planned on it already. It just wouldn't be documented sadly.

[Marlin]

Bear with me, its hard to pronounce.


"Stoo-oiu" "dent'" low" "enns"


Just a thought.

   For someone with such a thin skin, you should probably leave the curmudgeon posts to those with broad shoulders (BZ, Higgs, Hydrodave, RDTroja, GLW etc.). You would be a smaller target and may enjoy the Forums more.