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Offline Mike McFarlin

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Talking Dog
« on: Oct 27, 2007, 12:47 »
 

A GUY IS DRIVING AROUND THE BACK WOODS OF TENNESSEE AND HE SEES A SIGN IN FRONT OF A BROKEN DOWN SHANTY-STYLE HOUSE:  "TALKING DOG FOR SALE..."  THE GUY GOES INTO THE BACKYARD AND SEES A NICE LOOKING LABRADOR RETRIEVER SITTING THERE.

"YOU TALK?" HE ASKS.

"YEP," THE LAB REPLIES.

AFTER THE GUY RECOVERS FROM THE SHOCK OF HEARING A DOG TALK, HE SAYS, "SO , WHAT'S YOUR STORY?"

THE LAB LOOKS UP AND SAYS, "WELL, I DISCOVERED THAT I COULD TALK WHEN I WAS PRETTY YOUNG.  I WANTED TO HELP THE GOVERNMENT, SO I TOLD THE CIA AND THEY HAD ME SWORN INTO THE TOUGHEST BRANCH OF THE ARMED SERVICES...THE UNITED STATES MARINES.  YOU KNOW ONE OF THEIR NICKNAMES IS "THE DEVIL DOGS?"

IN NO TIME AT ALL THEY HAD ME JETTING FROM COUNTRY TO COUNTRY, SITTING IN ROOMS WITH SPIES AND WORLD LEADERS; BECAUSE NO ONE FIGURED A DOG WOULD BE EAVESDROPPING.  I WAS ONE OF THEIR MOST VALUABLE SPIES FOR EIGHT YEARS RUNNING, BUT THE JETTING AROUND REALLY TIRED ME OUT AND I KNEW I WASN'T GETTING ANY YOUNGER.  SO, I DECIDED TO SETTLE DOWN.  I RETIRED FROM THE CORPS (8 DOG YEARS IS 44 CORPS YEARS), RECEIVED A BUNCH OF MEDALS, AND SIGNED UP FOR A JOB AT THE AIRPORT TO DO SOME UNDERCOVER SECURITY, WANDERING NEAR SUSPICIOUS CHARACTERS AND LISTENING IN.  I UNCOVERED SOME INCREDIBLE DEALINGS AND WAS AWARDED ANOTHER BATCH OF HERO MEDALS.  I GOT MARRIED, HAD A MESS OF PUPPIES, AND NOW I'M JUST RETIRED."

THE GUY IS AMAZED.  HE GOES BACK IN AND ASKS THE OWNER WHAT HE WANTS FOR THE DOG.

"TEN DOLLARS," THE GUY SAYS. "TEN DOLLARS?  THIS DOG IS AMAZING!  WHY ON EARTH ARE YOU SELLING HIM SO CHEAP?"

"BECAUSE HE'S A LIAR.  HE NEVER DID ANY OF THAT STUFF, HE WAS IN THE AIR FORCE!"
"Duty is the sublimest word in our language. Do your duty in all things. You cannot do more. You should never wish to do less." General Robert E. Lee, C.S.A.

Offline PWHoppe

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Re: Talking Dog
« Reply #1 on: Oct 28, 2007, 06:23 »
 ;D ROFLMAO ;D Funniest thing I've seen in a long time, K to ya!
If a chicken and a half can lay an egg and a half in a day and a half, how many days will it take a grasshopper with a rubber foot to kick a hole in a tin can?

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