News and Discussions > Clean Humor

Good Democrat

(1/3) > >>

22 Ways To Be A Good Democrat
1. You have to be against capital punishment, but support abortion.

2. You have to believe that businesses creates oppression and governments create prosperity.

3. You have to believe that guns in the hands of law-abiding Americans are more of a threat than U. S. nuclear weapons technology in the hands of Chinese and North Korean communists. 

4. You have to believe that there was no art before Federal funding. 

5. You have to believe that global temperatures are less affected by documented cyclical changes in the earth's climate and more affected by soccer moms driving SUV's. 

6. You have to believe that gender roles are artificial but being homosexual is natural. 

7. You have to believe that the AIDS virus is spread by a lack of Federal funding. 

8. You have to believe that the same teacher who can't teach fourth grades how to read is somehow qualified to teach those same kids about sex. 

9. You have to believe that hunters don't care about nature, but loony activists who have never been outside San Francisco do. 

10. You have to believe that self-esteem is more important than actually doing something to earn it. 

11. You have to believe that Mel Gibson spent $25 million of his own money to make "The Passion of the Christ " for financial gain only. 

12. You have to believe the NRA is bad because it supports certain parts of the Constitution, while the ACLU is good because it supports certain parts of the Constitution. 

13. You have to believe that taxes are too low, but ATM fees are too high. 

14. You have to believe that Margaret Sanger and Gloria Steinem are more important to American history than Thomas Jefferson and Alexander Graham Bell . 

15. You have to believe that standardized tests are racist, but racial quotas and set-asides are not. 

16. You have to believe Hillary Clinton is normal and is a very nice person.

17. You have to believe that the only reason socialism hasn't worked anywhere it's been tried is because the right people haven't been in charge. 

18. You have to believe Conservatives telling the truth belong in jail, but a liar and a sex offender belonged in the White House. 

19. You have to believe that homosexual parades displaying drag, transvestites and bestiality should be constitutionally protected and manger scenes at Christmas should be illegal. 

20. You have to believe that illegal Democrat Party funding by the Chinese Government is somehow in the best interest of the United States .

21. You have to believe that this message is a part of a vast right wing conspiracy. 

22. You have to believe that it's okay to give Federal workers the day off on Christmas Day but it's not okay to say "Merry Christmas."

I love it!  Karma to ya.

Karma and a root salute to you!!!

Subject: Fw: Are you a Democrate, Repulican, or a Red Neck ???


Are you a Democrat, a Republican, or a Redneck?

Here is a little test that will help you decide.

The answer can be found by posing the following question:


#You're walking down a deserted street with your wife and two small children.
Suddenly, an Islamic Terrorist with a huge knife
comes around the corner, locks eyes with you, screams obscenities, praises Allah,
raises the knife, and charges at you.   

You are carrying a
Kimber 1911 cal. 45 ACP, and you are an expert shot.
You have mere seconds before he reaches you and your family. What
do you do?




Answer :

Well, that's not enough information to answer the question!

Does the man look poor or oppressed? Have I ever done anything to him that
would inspire him to attack?
Could we run away?
What does my wife think?
What about the kids?
Could I possibly swing the gun like a club and knock
the knife out of his hand?
What does the law say about
this situation?
Does the pistol have appropriate safety built into it?
Why am I carrying a loaded gun anyway, and what kind of message does this send to society and to my children?
Is it possible he'd be happy with just killing me?
Does he definitely want to kill me, or would he be content just to wound me?
If I were to grab his knees and hold on, could my family get away while he was stabbing me?
Should I call 9-1-1?
Why is this street so deserted?
We need to raise taxes, have
paint and weed day and
make this happier, healthier street that would discourage such behavior.
This is all so confusing! I need to
debate this with some friends for few days and try to come to a
............................. ............................. .........



............................. ............................. .....

Redneck's Answer:

Click..... (Sounds of reloading)
BANG! Click
Daughte r: 'Nice grouping, Daddy! Were those
Silver Tips or Hollow Points?! '
Son: 'Can I shoot the next
Wife: 'You ain't taking that to the Taxidermist

Dave Warren:
Then, you cross that same Redneck with that same Republican and you put him in the White House.
Then, you sit back and watch the damage pile up and let the bodies hit the floor.
What a great vision..... >:(


[0] Message Index

[#] Next page

Go to full version