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  • Guest
My fiance and his break down
« on: Dec 17, 2009, 11:27 »
Currently my fiance is off in A schooling just barely got there. Usually he does not have self esteem issues at all but they seem like they popped up out of no where today. He has been think a lot and is scared that for one navy life will be to hard on our relationship but says he refuses to give up on this relationship. He is not sure he can make it any longer because he is now relising he will bein SC for 18 months. i told him it would be a good experience and he should go for it. Can anyone help me or give me idea to try and convince him staying in the Navy Nuclear program is good and in the end it will have worked out for the best.


  • Guest
Re: My fiance and his break down
« Reply #1 on: Dec 17, 2009, 11:31 »
Best advice you can give him is to quit his whining and get down to doing his job.


Offline Neutron_Herder

Re: My fiance and his break down
« Reply #2 on: Dec 18, 2009, 09:54 »
It is difficult on relationships... and it doesn't get easier.  That's the unfortunate truth.  There really isn't much that I can think to tell him other than it is his job, and he signed up to do it.  It's tough being far from home, but the schoolwork will keep him busy enough that he won't have much time to mope around.

The Navy is providing a steady paycheck, and in this economy that's something that really has to be considered.
"If everybody's thinking alike, somebody isn't thinking" - Gen. George S. Patton


  • Guest
Re: My fiance and his break down
« Reply #3 on: Dec 18, 2009, 10:03 »
Give the ring back until he becomes a grown up.  8)


  • Guest
Re: My fiance and his break down
« Reply #4 on: Dec 18, 2009, 07:55 »
I agree with Broadzilla and Samabby. Until he is a man, he has no business trying to mingle the Navy and his relationship together. He has to choose one or the other apparently, and too bad for him, he chose the Navy. He doesn't get to make another choice now, so I am not sure what you mean by "convince him to stay in the nuclear program." If he does something to fail out, he will still be in the Navy, but then it will be even worse for him and your relationship. Tell him to grow up.

Good luck.
« Last Edit: Dec 18, 2009, 07:56 by JustinHEMI »

Offline HydroDave63

Re: My fiance and his break down
« Reply #5 on: Dec 18, 2009, 09:28 »
5.... 0.... q.... *slap from out of nowhere as I'm typing*

pray for him to find peace, so he can be safe and finish his studies.
« Last Edit: Dec 18, 2009, 09:52 by HydroDave63 »

Offline bradley535

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Re: My fiance and his break down
« Reply #6 on: Dec 20, 2009, 03:34 »
   One of the things your fiance is going to have to come to grips with is that this is going to be the most difficult thing he has ever faced; and may ever face. Hours are tough, subject matter is complicated, and the effort required is beyond anything the average high school/college student has ever had put before them. No matter what some people will say, it is not a simple program and does require effort and ability.
   It's rare to find a job or learning institution where your best may not be good enough. The Navy nuclear program is one of those rare beasts. You may try your hardest, put forth 100% of everything you have, devote all of your being and still come up wanting. Failure in the persuit of something beyond your abilities is not something to be ashamed of; however, not living up to your potential is. There is a good chance that your fiance is not just dealing with a struggle of academic difficulty, but is also struggling with being alone, being taxed with new rules, and finding that being smart is no longer a unique attribute.
   As for what you can do to convince him... Just make sure that you are not one more stress in his life. When he calls you, do not focus on how much you miss him, but remind him how proud you are that he's supporting your freedom. When he lets you know that he's struggling in his classes, don't compound it by comparing your struggles; instead, remind him that you believe in him. Remember that you may have to put your relationship on hold while he's going through this. It's not an easy program, and to add the struggles of a developing love into it is only going to put undue stress on him and your tenuous relationship.

   Good luck, and keep us posted,


Re: My fiance and his break down
« Reply #7 on: Dec 20, 2009, 06:12 »
Welcome to nukeworker,

Yah bradley is right, so are the other folks, but moreso bradley.  Dont be a nag or stress him anymore than he is.  Be there with a smile and stroke his little ego and he may just growup and pull through this.


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