PTSD

[DLGN25]

You had an experience that traumatized you.  It may or may not be something that you will overcome, but you are trying to come to terms with what you saw, and that is good.  Everyone needs to know that self preservation is inherent to the human being, and we at times do things in that interest when other actions are warranted.   It is just who we are.  That said, the Navy did the right thing in your situation.  There is no room in engineering spaces for an unreliable, unpredictable engineer, no matter what the cause or the effort to mitigate it.

You need to come to terms with yourself that working in your trade is not something that you can continue to do until your fears are understood and put in their proper place. Keep in mind, that therapy may get you off the meds, but until you can demonstrate that you can work on electrical equipment, no amount of progress will be meaningful.  What that means is to get well, you need to work in your environment, but to work in your environment, you need to be well.  You have a hard road to travel and may in the end, even if cured, preclude an employer from taking the chance that you are not 'well'.

My advice is that you get on with your life.  Upon discharge, get the disability, no matter how minimal it is, just so you can get VA Hospital care and continued therapy.  Take advantage of the education benefits available to you and look forward.

By the way, from what you said about the accident, it looks to me like the Chief ignored safety procedures of which he should have known.  What happened was of his own doing, and while tragic, is yet another lesson that assumptions and short cuts can be fatal.  What happened, should not have happened.  Whether that helps you put your experience into context is up to you.

Oh, nuclear power, or for that matter, conventional power generation is not the all there is in the world.  I was an RO and became an accountant.  What you have learned in the nuclear navy is more then just the plant.  Put the effort you put into your navy job into another field (or one not involving maintenance), and you will be fine.

Good luck to you.

[Higgs]

The propulsion electrician couldn't get the locking bolts to align, the Chief stepped in, being a 450 volt inspector at his prior shore command, to try and help get them engaged. The load center wasn't tagged out, and he wrapped his hands around the breaker, and it happened. I was down there, not apart of this at all, just returning some cleared tags to EOS. Wrong place at the wrong time, and I saw this. I really don't know where some of this is coming from. I never said I was just going to expect I'm fine, and ready to go. I know I'm not. I'm getting treatment, I have a long ways to go. I sought out help from people not in the Navy. Is that a bad thing? How is me not telling the Navy that I had problems with what happened covering it up? Just how great were the Navy docs you have all seen?

I specifically said I WAS NOT GOING TO JUMP INTO ANYTHING UNTIL I'VE COME TO GRIPS WITH EVERYTHING BECAUSE I WASN'T GOING TO BE A LIABILITY. Now, assuming I did, and I passed all the physicals I'm required to do as mentioned in this thread, if I showed that I had a medical discharge, how is it deceiving or scamming to leave it at that or be forced to bring it up? I was told they can't ask you what it was for. That was all I wanted to know. All I am reading is I'm never going to get better, and I'm asking on the basis I do. If I'm deemed cured, do I report something I don't have?

Some of you read way too into it.

Someone, and I think I know who, is lying to you if they are telling you that you don't have to tell the commercial nuclear world about any of this. That said, get your treatment, get better and maybe someone will hire you. If not, like was mentioned above, there are other avenues besides nuclear.

Justin

[hamsamich]

Yeah he should tell the commercial world.  Just commenting on the way everyone pounces on people with such a holier than thou attitude on this board.

[Starkist]

Now, assuming I did, and I passed all the physicals I'm required to do as mentioned in this thread, if I showed that I had a medical discharge, how is it deceiving or scamming to leave it at that or be forced to bring it up? I was told they can't ask you what it was for. That was all I wanted to know. All I am reading is I'm never going to get better, and I'm asking on the basis I do. If I'm deemed cured, do I report something I don't have?

Some of you read way too into it.

Hiring personnel are not allowed to ask specifics of your discharge. However, when you talk to the psych about any mental issues, you are obligated to tell him what happened. You will be talking face to face with him (via webcam), and you can explain all the counseling and medications you've taken with him.

You're not extradited from the nuclear field, you just need to get your stuff in order. Again, you should get some schooling to give you an edge over others.

[RDTroja]

You acted in accordance for self preservation and in the interest of your family.  That is the correct response and you don’t have to apologize to these      for perfectly logical actions.
Your response of shock after the incident is perfectly normal and expected.  It would take time for most anyone to feel comfortable around electrical gear after the incident you witnessed.  You also took responsibility to seek help on your own dime so that you could continue to support your goals and stand your watch.  The Navy should have automatically enrolled you in consoling post incident and if they didn’t, they were negligent.    You witnessed a chief get lite up like that and they just put you back on watch without talking to you, pulling you off the watchbill? That is on the Navy, not you.  They contributed to your lack of recovery. The Navy, not you, failed to take the appropriate immediate actions.  Talk to a JAG about this and see what options you have.
You didn’t quit, you tried to work through the issue, and thought time and support would pull you through so you could be productive.  Perfect logical and the correct approach. In most cases, it works.  I send people home all the time for near misses to help people get straight and focused.  30 year millwrights get shook up with a lot less than what you experienced and need a week or two off.  
The problem is the time and therapy didn’t seem to help and after two years, maybe it is time to admit you may never be ‘cured’ to the point to be able to work with electrical gear.  Close the chapter.  Take the GI bill and get a degree.  Find something that doesn’t involve working with switchgear.  To maintain denial and wish to still try to pursue a career in which you will be working around switchgear is irresponsible.  Give it up, find something else you can be happy in.

Yeah, that's it -- lying and putting other people at risk is OK if it is to your own benefit! Wow, wish I had thought of that! I can't imagine how much grief I could have saved myself if I had just considered that other people were expendable as long as it suited the only important individual in the world... ME!

Brilliant advice!

[Marlin]

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4. Please learn to be respectful, tolerate and support each other.  NukeWorker.com's goal is to help others, not see how many people we can annoy. Do not initiate arguments or tension. This will only cause the triggering of other members and make this site less professional.

[HeavyD]

To correct one thing in an earlier post, the Navy does NOT decide what, if any, disability a veteran receives.  That determination is made by a medical practitioner employed by the Department of Veteran's Affairs, the VA.

Now, before someone chimes in, the quality or proficiency of said physician will vary.  But the fact is that the VA makes the determination.  Make sure anything that happens and everyone you see is documented and entered in your medical record prior to any discharge.  At the least make copies of everything for yourself.

And be honest and forthcoming, no matter what profession you choose.  Answer questions honestly.  Best of luck to you!