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Offline Fsingram5341

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Nuke School with a wife?
« on: Apr 24, 2015, 09:30 »
I have a very serious girlfriend right now, and I plan on marrying her before I leave to basic training. After basic, I'll be in nuke school for 2 years, and I want to know, would my then wife be able to come with me and live on base while I'm in school? I understand I might not have a lot of time out of school, but being able to come home to her and spend some time with her is my main focus. I have looked but everything else talks about navy girlfriends and not navy wives. Thanks to anyone who can help me answer this.


sjb7061

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Re: Nuke School with a wife?
« Reply #2 on: Apr 26, 2015, 04:46 »
"Nuke school with a wife" sometimes becomes "divorced in the fleet"

Why do you want to join the military?

Offline HydroDave63

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Re: Nuke School with a wife?
« Reply #3 on: Apr 26, 2015, 11:52 »
"Nuke school with a wife" sometimes becomes "divorced in the fleet"

Why do you want to join the military?

Or, as another sailor posted years ago...

Well, if he goes subs and gets a T-hull, he can probably get a choice of being there for the birth or the conception, but not both.......

Your mileage may vary
« Last Edit: Apr 27, 2015, 12:13 by HydroDave63 »

Chimera

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Re: Nuke School with a wife?
« Reply #4 on: Apr 27, 2015, 09:02 »
I have a very serious girlfriend right now, and I plan on marrying her before I leave to basic training. After basic, I'll be in nuke school for 2 years, and I want to know, would my then wife be able to come with me and live on base while I'm in school? I understand I might not have a lot of time out of school, but being able to come home to her and spend some time with her is my main focus. I have looked but everything else talks about navy girlfriends and not navy wives. Thanks to anyone who can help me answer this.

My father once told me I should wait until I was out of the Navy before getting married.  If it was "true love", it would wait.  I didn't.  He was right.  Another lesson learned the hard way.

JsonD13

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Re: Nuke School with a wife?
« Reply #5 on: Apr 27, 2015, 10:35 »
I got married during nuke school (not to a gal from there, from my hometown).  Now divorced with kids.  Here's what I learned from some of the poor choices I made in getting married:


Dont cave in to any percieved time pressure to get married.  Getting married because you are leaving soon is a recipe for disaster.  How the heck are you supposed to enjoy your new wife and have a honeymoon?

If you are under the age of 25, it can wait a while.  Odds are if you are joining the Navy nuclear program, you havent gotten your ducks in a row as far as your career is concerned.  You will be putting in long hours the WHOLE TIME you are in the Navy.  This is not an 8 hour a day gig if you are in this program.  Your wife to be probably doesnt understand that.  You will be taking her from her home and family, and setting her in a place she is not familiar with and then leaving her for 12 hours a day, usually at a minimum.  It doesnt get any better when you are on your boat either, having to be gone from her up to 9 months at a time. 

Ask yourself if your girlfriend is independent and mature enough to handle an entire household on her own.  If she still lives with her parents, the answer is no.  If she doesnt work a full time job, the answer is usually no.  You dont want to take a girl from her parents only to become a pseudo father to her.  You want an equal teammate in life.

If she wants to go to college and get her bachelors degree, its probably best to wait.  In your first 6 years, you will not be in one area long enough for her to complete her education unless she can graduate a year or more early.

They say its best to wait until you are done with all your Navy training and assigned to your boat before getting hitched.  Id say its best to figure out whether you want to make the Navy a career first.  There is no way youd know this until you are qualified on your first boat.  So that would probably take you around 2-3 years to get to, depending on your rate.


Chimera

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Re: Nuke School with a wife?
« Reply #6 on: Apr 27, 2015, 10:40 »
My father must have talked to JsonD13, too.  That sure sounds a awful lot like what my father told me - that I didn't listen to.

JsonD13

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Re: Nuke School with a wife?
« Reply #7 on: Apr 27, 2015, 11:07 »
Dad sounds like a smart guy there ;-)

Offline RDTroja

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Re: Nuke School with a wife?
« Reply #8 on: Apr 27, 2015, 12:52 »
The older I get the smarter my parents were.
"I won't eat anything that has intelligent life, but I'd gladly eat a network executive or a politician."

                                  -Marty Feldman

"Politics is supposed to be the second-oldest profession. I have come to understand that it bears a very close resemblance to the first."
                                  -Ronald Reagan

I have never made but one prayer to God, a very short one: 'O Lord, make my enemies ridiculous.' And God granted it.

                                  - Voltaire

Offline GLW

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Re: Nuke School with a wife?
« Reply #9 on: Apr 27, 2015, 04:44 »
Without all that (Navy stuff) 40 to 50 percent of all first marriages in the US of A end in divorce,...

As to the other, I married at p-type (age 21), endured 1296 days underway on nuclear power, and am still married to the same girl 34 (soon to be 35) years later,...

You can't throw a natural if you don't roll the dice,... 8)

been there, dun that,... the doormat to hell does not read "welcome", the doormat to hell reads "it's just business"

Offline Tylor

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Re: Nuke School with a wife?
« Reply #10 on: Apr 28, 2015, 04:34 »
These guys posting are older and wiser than I am, and probably giving some solid advice. But to answer your question assuming you do get married and do come to A-school, your quality of life will be a little better than your single shipmates.

A lot of it depends on you personally as well, if you struggle through the program you will only be at home to sleep on weekdays, and on the weekends. A school was the hardest part of the pipeline for me, and I'm currently about 2 weeks from qualifying in prototype. If you already have good study habits going in, and you catch on to the material quickly, you will have a much easier time and you can have a solid 4 hours at home after work. If you're married, you and your spouse will live outside of the barracks, and depending on what sort of deal you can find, and if your spouse works, you can be making a significant amount more than your peers.

All in all, I wouldn't recommend getting married just because you're going in to the military, as all these much wiser people have told you. If you do get married, your quality of life will be a little higher at first, but you will not be able to prioritize your home life over work.
"There are no extraordinary men... just extraordinary circumstances that ordinary men are forced to deal with." -Admiral William Halsey

Offline GLW

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Re: Nuke School with a wife?
« Reply #11 on: Apr 28, 2015, 05:02 »
..............but you will not be able to prioritize your home life over work.

true that,..........not until EAOS,...

been there, dun that,... the doormat to hell does not read "welcome", the doormat to hell reads "it's just business"

Offline xobxdoc

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Re: Nuke School with a wife?
« Reply #12 on: Apr 29, 2015, 06:38 »
They don't call them "West Pac Widows" for nothing.

 


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