My Female Fiance Tested Into Nuke-Marriage Timeline Advice Needed

[navyfiance]

First post and need assistance from you all.


My long time GF, now fiance, tested into nuke program. She is currently getting physical and filling out security paperwork. This has changed my plans of a proper wedding next summer quite drastically as you could understand. I am asking, what is the best path here we can take to A) not slow down paperwork; B) not lose out on relocation benefits; C) anything else you might think of.


I can see this being an extra step of potential pitfalls from a male joining, getting clearance, and getting married due to the last name remaining the same.


Ultimately, what is our best option? Elope today to have security papers with new name? Wedding after BMT would that have negative consequences? Also, any advice for a future navy husband is also appreciated of course.


Thanks

[ComradeRed1308]

I wouldn't necessarily worry about paperwork to determine when you want to get married.  While it might inconvenience some admin people, that's not your problem.  Just make sure she communicates her intentions early on to get married so they know to prepare for it.   For relocation benefits, I don't think marriage status affects that significantly.   However, being married will allow you to have base access to shop at the exchange and commissary and allow her to live outside of the barracks prior to making E-5.  It may be difficult to plan things out once she is going through the training pipeline as timelines are prone to shifting for a variety of reasons, so it might be the least stressful to get married prior to her leaving for boot camp.  That said it should be possible for her to get leave while she is going through the initial training pipeline to attend her own wedding with the exception of boot camp. 

For general navy spouse advice, just be as supportive of her as you can be.  Being a nuke is tough and will usually involve a lot of time away from home.  The time commitments usually only get greater the further she is going through the training pipeline and grow exponentially once you get out to the ship.  If you can help her take care of a lot of the day to day stuff such as errands, bills, and shopping, it'll take a small amount of stress off of her which could have a huge impact to her well-being.

[navyfiance]

Thank you for your advice. I appreciate it very much.

[MMM]

She'll get leave between A School and Power School and NPTU. Depending on the timing, she may also get some time off at the holidays. She won't get leave during the actual training to get married, you're expected to schedule that around work. Aside from that, pretty much everything Comrade said is accurate.

[spekkio]

First post and need assistance from you all.


My long time GF, now fiance, tested into nuke program. She is currently getting physical and filling out security paperwork. This has changed my plans of a proper wedding next summer quite drastically as you could understand. I am asking, what is the best path here we can take to A) not slow down paperwork; B) not lose out on relocation benefits; C) anything else you might think of.


I can see this being an extra step of potential pitfalls from a male joining, getting clearance, and getting married due to the last name remaining the same.


Ultimately, what is our best option? Elope today to have security papers with new name? Wedding after BMT would that have negative consequences? Also, any advice for a future navy husband is also appreciated of course.


Thanks

Short answer: COA 1: Break up with her. If you guys are still in touch 6 years from now, consider marriage.
COA 2: She doesn't enlist in the Navy and considers another career.

Longer answer:

Your wife is about to join an organization that has policy in place for the 'lowest common denominator' - an 18 year old male who is unknowingly trying to kill himself with every life decision he makes and will spend his money on the most irresponsible thing you can think of.

Now if you can imagine some of the 'organizational control' something like the military would put on such a person, and then extend that to what your potential future wife will have to live with because we don't allow exceptions to policy, you can start to imagine some of the hurdles you're going to go through to see your wife while she completes her initial training through prototype.

Once she gets to the fleet, life won't get any easier for a non-qual to have a home life since she'll be working extra to get qualified on top of the normal duties and responsibilities she has. Plus there's underway time.

If you're considering eloping just to get some extra money - don't.