I think I'm probably as close to your career path as any one - BS in Chem, SWO-N (NUPOC after graduation), 5 & out to NAVSEA/DoD contractor.
You talk of doing R&D work for DoD. I'm not sure what you have in mind. I've worked for a shipyard, I work for one of the NAVSEA surface warfare centers, I've worked in acquistion for the last 15 years. They do as little R&D as possible. It costs money no one wants to spend. If you want to go that route, apply now as a new PhD. Navy experience isn't that great of an advantage for that field. The shipbuilders are run by engineers and want engineers (degree, not operational). Nuke school is nice, but they don't want to pay for it. I took a 25% pay cut my first year out of the Navy, from LT pay because I don't have an engineering degree. Beltway Bandits have, or make, more leeway for paying veterans for experience. None of the people I work with who do actual testing have any shipboard experience.
If you still want to go the Navy -> contractor/testing route, consider going SWO instead of subs. The Navy builds more ships than submarines. If you go surface, if you have never been in a boat, find yourself one. Seriously. You will have no problem with power school/prototype. If you have never been on the water in any form or fashion, that will be more challenging. The Navy shipdriver program is being overhauled, so you will benefit from that. I got the just prior to SWOS-in-a-Box training which stunk. Growing up in sailboats and power boats helped a lot with relative motion and just driving a boat.
The other thing I'd recommend, which it sound like you're too late for, is 6-18 months working at McDonalds. Seriously. You need to learn how to work with people. Probably my biggest advantage, besides wearing a skirt, was the 4-5 years I had working retail AT THE SAME PLACE, throughout college. While I wasn't the brightest bulb on the tree, I knew how to work, show up on time, do stupid mind-numbing work, and deal with difficult people.
I followed the advice of my RO years before I met him: There are 2 ways to get ahead. Be the smartest person in the room, or be willing to do the work no one else will. As a result of years of scut work, I now am running a ship trial with a $14M budget. The bonus is I get to make Sailors cry.
Nuke school is a small part of being an officer. You will be a division officer, AKA people manager doing HR crap. Sub or surface, you will have to deal with unmotivated people, any number of marital problems (e.g. the "is my husband/wife cheating with MM2?"), legal issues (first met a guy in my first division on the steps of the VABeach courthouse) and other random fun things. The time I spent at JCPenny's explaining politely, but firmly, that no I was not giving a refund on merchandise we did not sell was a valuable as any time spent in a college lab. Same thing for post Navy contracting work. I don't the the HR crap, but I have been in several meetings that were just about knock-down, drag out brawls with DOT&E types. Being able to mediate & soothe egos is a valuable skill. As is being able to speak your mind without being a jerk. I know many who topped out at LCDR because the wouldn't "bend to The Man" or kiss @ss. Being polite is not sucking up, it's just being polite.
I would not get a lawyer involved in your medical record fight. You shouldn't need to. Think of this as your first test of dealing with bureaucrats. If you can't get this done, expect your household goods to be shipped from Charleston to Groton via Dijbouti. :-) Really. You need to learn how to work bureaucratic drones. You will go nowhere in the Navy, as a govvie or Beltway Bandit if you don't.
Keep a paper trail of who you've talked to. Write down names, ask for supervisors. Beg, plead, cajole or if worse comes to worse, threaten to call you local TV station. What hospital wants to be called out on the 5 pm news for impeding some young patriot's dream of being a Navy officer? Maintenance wasn't hard to get approved after the 3M chief thought it was a good plan to hit on me at liberty port. Remember why that drink ended up in your shorts Chief? ;-) You have to play the hand you're dealt.
Whatever reputation you have in the Navy will follow you if you go into the NAVSEA world, good or bad. I'm interviewing a guy next week, who unless he's a total jack_ss has the job & we'll give him the moon, based on word of mouth reviews. If he's half a jerk, he'll still get the job. The Navy is not a large world & nukedom is like playing 6 Degrees of Kevin Bacon. It's not hard to find someone who knows you. Keep working on your attitude.
