NukeWorker Forum

News and Discussions => Nuke Community => Clean Humor => Topic started by: darkmatter on Dec 20, 2007, 04:49

Title: Oral Boards Exam Help
Post by: darkmatter on Dec 20, 2007, 04:49
A lot of Techs have never had to go before a Oral Board for final qualifications before. Use this thread to give advice for the Newbies. A secret examiners Guide that I found which is used the the Board Members may help the examinee prepare for what to expect:

Guidelines for Oral Board Examiners

Objective: Access the examinees ability to comprehend and apply knowledge and procedures for practical Job Situations. Ensure the trainee at the end of the board will be totally demoralized and convinced that they are ignorant neophytes while you are at the pinnacle of knowledge.

Methods: Some ideas for conducting the exam consists of:

A. Wear dark or mirrored sunglasses so as to appear inscrutable.

B. Position the examinees in the center of a horseshoe table arrangement with them standing and the examiners seated around them. Extra points for the examiners if you can ask questions in such a way as to have them spin around in a 360 circle while answering the questions.

C. Make side comments to fellow examiners such as when a Calculator is used: “A real Tech would be able to do it in their head or with a slip-stick.”

D. Find the most esoteric or inane trivia from the procedures or job history and relentlessly question all aspects to excess.

E. Tell private jokes among the examiners to appear to be laughing at the examinees expense. Be sure to look serious and solemn when speaking to the examinees however. 

F. Have a open notebook to furiously take notes and comments every time the examinees speaks.

G.  Do not end the exam until the examinees is sweating and frustrated. Have the examinees wait outside standing in the hall for as long as practical within earshot of the examiners laughing and joking.

H. At the final interview say something to the effect that against the better judgment of the panel you've decided to pass the individual conditionally pending upon a future list of “lookups”   

Note: It is vitally important to upper management that no technician is ever to feel knowledgeable or confident in their abilities. Remember, if the technician has low self-worth, we can pay them less and schedule them as we want.