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Author Topic: MANY questions about marrying a sailor. please help!  (Read 6552 times)

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piper_ph

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hi, i came across this site while trying to do some research and please forgive me if i've posted in the wrong section.  i am planning on marrying my boyfriend during his next leave (this holiday).  the details, he is stationed in japan and i am currently in the states.  we have been together for 2 years and are ready to start our lives together in the same place.   now, we plan on getting married here in illinois, heading over to the great lakes naval base to get me a military id and then i leave for japan with him.  i am guessing that my sailor can't start any paperwork until we are officially married, correct?  also, will i need to bring the marriage certificate w/ me to japan?  i'm not sure how long it takes to get the certificate (courthouse marriage).  also, i'm guessing that i'll go to japan using my u.s passport, but what are the chances that everything won't be ironed out soon enough, forcing me to return back to the states within 90 days? also, my sailor is an "e-4 over 4"...not sure what that means, but that's what he says! :) basically, long story short, i need to know exactly what needs to be done...ANY help would be appreciated.  thanks so much in advance.

Offline KUrunner

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Re: MANY questions about marrying a sailor. please help!
« Reply #1 on: Sep 08, 2010, 07:16 »
You are correct; he can't do any sort of paperwork until you are married. 

To get your military ID, you'll need an "official" copy of your marriage certificate.  I'd imagine the time varies between states, but it took almost two weeks to get mine in Virginia.  He'll need the certificate for everything -- to enroll you in DEERS, Tricare, housing, etc.

I'm not sure how long he'll be on leave, but it's *possible* that you can get the marriage license in time to get your ID before you leave for Japan.  If you don't get it before you leave, have someone check your mail and send it to you in Japan.  I'd say that the chances of you having to come back after 90 days are pretty slim; my husband and I got everything taken care of the same week we got our certificate. 
The first rule of thermodynamics is you don't talk about thermodynamics.

co60slr

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Re: MANY questions about marrying a sailor. please help!
« Reply #2 on: Sep 08, 2010, 08:02 »
i am guessing that my sailor can't start any paperwork until we are officially married, correct?  also, will i need to bring the marriage certificate w/ me to japan?  i'm not sure how long it takes to get the certificate (courthouse marriage).  also, i'm guessing that i'll go to japan using my u.s passport, but what are the chances that everything won't be ironed out soon enough, forcing me to return back to the states within 90 days? also, my sailor is an "e-4 over 4"...not sure what that means, but that's what he says! :) basically, long story short, i need to know exactly what needs to be done.
Most importantly, I usually cringe at these types of Internet requests.  They're great for backup, but your E-4 needs to be talking to his Chief and getting the process for bringing a dependent overseas all ironed out.   If he doesn't know the answers on the military side, then he's WAY behind in his marriage planning.  I suspect the "E-4 over 4" has to do with authorization to live offbase and get paid for it (i.e., Basic Allowance for Housing).   However, I'm not sure on that one.   Regardless, if I were the E-4 I would NOT surprise my Chain of Command with a new wife in Japan.

You'll need marriage certificates for everything.  Non-military, your first stop should be at the social security office for your name change, as desired.   Driver's license name change, etc.   (All your personal, non-military affairs before leaving for Japan).   You can get a military ID in Japan...I'm not sure you can work the rest of this out overseas.  You don't pass through customs using a dependent military ID.   You'll always need your passport.

"DEERS" is everything.  This will get you the TRICARE insurance, dental benefits, etc.   The ID card is verification that you're in "the system".  The people at PSD will help you BOTH out...(IMPORTANT: you can't get into DEERS by yourself...hubby has to be with you the first time).

You can also get some contacts (email addys) from your husband's friend's wives who are already over there.   Perhaps even recently married.  Finding someone who recently went through your scenario might give the best advice as compared to what us 'ole nukes might try to remember.







Offline DDMurray

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Re: MANY questions about marrying a sailor. please help!
« Reply #3 on: Sep 08, 2010, 10:39 »
There should be a spouse support group on your future husband's command.  You should also contact the ship's ombudsman before you head overseas.  Both of these are valuable resources to you.  I'm not sure of the timing required, but you'll need to get new Social Security Card and Passport with your new name.  I recommend you check out these things earlier rather than later.  Also memorize your new husband's SSN.  You will need it frequently when dealing with medical and possibly disbursing if he's deployed.

Good Luck!
The things that will destroy America are prosperity-at-any-price, peace-at-any-price, safety-first instead of duty-first, the love of soft living, and the get-rich-quick theory of life.
T. Roosevelt

Offline MMM

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Re: MANY questions about marrying a sailor. please help!
« Reply #4 on: Sep 08, 2010, 11:05 »
Also, remember, the military won't pay to move you out there, it's all on you guys.

Offline DDMurray

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Re: MANY questions about marrying a sailor. please help!
« Reply #5 on: Sep 09, 2010, 07:44 »
Also, remember, the military won't pay to move you out there, it's all on you guys.
This may or may not be true, depending on the situation.
The things that will destroy America are prosperity-at-any-price, peace-at-any-price, safety-first instead of duty-first, the love of soft living, and the get-rich-quick theory of life.
T. Roosevelt

Offline DDMurray

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Re: MANY questions about marrying a sailor. please help!
« Reply #6 on: Sep 09, 2010, 07:54 »
One thing I failed to mention that has been alluded to here is permission to enter the country.  You will need some sort of orders authorizing you to enter Japan, your passport by itself may not be enough.  You don't say what part of Japan you are going to, but you need to find out the housing situation.  There may be a wait list for military quarters or few affordable rentals depending on where you are stationed.  This may all be overwhelming but two guys I served with were stationed in "Yoko" and loved it there.  Like I said in my previous post, the spouse support group and/or the ombudsman are probably your best resource because they have done what you're trying to do.  Your husband should be able to get the contact information for them.
The things that will destroy America are prosperity-at-any-price, peace-at-any-price, safety-first instead of duty-first, the love of soft living, and the get-rich-quick theory of life.
T. Roosevelt

 


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