My question is, how is life for a female nuke?
The same as life is for a male nuke.
Are there many females compared to the number of males?
About 1 to 10, give or take.
Also, I have two young children, a 2 year old girl and a 1 year old boy. Has anyone gone through nuke school with small kids?
Yep.
Did you get to spend much time with them?
Yes and no. During A School and Power School, if you do well, you'll probably get to see them quite a bit. If you get put on extra hours, probably not.
I know is pretty intense, but as long as I get to see them on weekends I'll be happy.
Don't count on it. Maybe during your first two schools, probably during hold, definitely not during prototype. You'll have two weekends off every 5 weeks. Three of those weeks, you'll be working 12-14 hour days while the kids are awake. One of those weeks, you'll work at night and sleep while the kids are awake.
I went through Prototype with an infant. It wasn't fun, but being eat/sleep/poop, she didn't know I wasn't there. My husband is in prototype now with 2 kids. Again, the baby doesn't realize much, but it's hell on our older daughter who is lucky if she sees her dad an hour a day. But that's nothing compared to being deployed for 6+ months with kids at home.
Sovbob posted some great links that will give you a more in-depth description of what you are up against. I just wanted to throw my $0.02 in as a prior nuke with kids.