Off to Navy Nuke School with a girlfriend?!!!

[mizzyung]

Jeremy,

MiZZ-YuNg,

What exactly is "A-Wall"?  Is that like AWOL?  If so, why would you improvise something that takes longer to write?  OR, is it more of a Pink-Floydish leave of absence [with all of the references to suicides and mental breakdowns]? 

Also, I think that people offered their advice because, well, he asked for some advice.  A very good friend of mine always prefaces his advice with "My best advice is to never trust my advice."  It's really funny, because I've always found his advice to be very sound. 

Now I understand that, being in your second marriage now, you are certainly an expert on relationships, but for those of us who aren't, perhaps you might want to back it down a notch or two.  I'm sure that I'll know as much as you by the time I'm on my second marriage.  It just takes some of us a little longer to get there (i.e., we're kind of slow that way).  Some of us "Old heads" never get there [that whole "til death do us part" vow].  Well, we can't all do everything. 

Best of luck and keep up the good work,

mgm

Okay...it was like 2 in the morning and i was half sleep...LoL...so yes a-wall is meant to be AWOL.

And while i may be "expierenced" in marriage...LoL...the only advice I ever give to anyone with love and relationships is no one else can tell you yes or no but yourself because no one else is you, and no one else is her, and no one else is in you guys relationship but you and no one elses relationship is like yours because everyone's relationships are different. Granted there may be similarities from situation to situation from time to time, but ultimately your feelings are your feelings and no one can change those but you.

And F.Y.I since I don't really appreciate the second marriage sarcasim remarks, that first marriage ended because of honorable circumstances. Like they say being in the navy will make you realize how much a person really does care and really want to be with you. We got married with the agreement that the Navy it was going to be and then a month before it was time to leave things all of a sudden out the clear blue it became "if you leave for the navy (after already joining and getting a shipdate and waiting 5 months) I want a divorce!" And you know what, I was off to boot camp a few weeks later and signing my divorce papers while in power school because I'm a firm believer in your word is all that you have when dealing with others and once you've lost that, what else is there? Wish iI could have gotten it right the first time, but now I'm happier and glad it didn't.

[Cycoticpenguin]

Okay...it was like 2 in the morning and i was half sleep...LoL...so yes a-wall is meant to be AWOL.

And while i may be "expierenced" in marriage...LoL...the only advice I ever give to anyone with love and relationships is no one else can tell you yes or no but yourself because no one else is you, and no one else is her, and no one else is in you guys relationship but you and no one elses relationship is like yours because everyone's relationships are different. Granted there may be similarities from situation to situation from time to time, but ultimately your feelings are your feelings and no one can change those but you.

And F.Y.I since I don't really appreciate the second marriage sarcasim remarks, that first marriage ended because of honorable circumstances. Like they say being in the navy will make you realize how much a person really does care and really want to be with you. We got married with the agreement that the Navy it was going to be and then a month before it was time to leave things all of a sudden out the clear blue it became "if you leave for the navy (after already joining and getting a shipdate and waiting 5 months) I want a divorce!" And you know what, I was off to boot camp a few weeks later and signing my divorce papers while in power school because I'm a firm believer in your word is all that you have when dealing with others and once you've lost that, what else is there? Wish iI could have gotten it right the first time, but now I'm happier and glad it didn't.

you care too much.


Germ -> Not going to lie, your idea sounds horrible, and you are setting yourself up for an epic failure. I hope you know what you are trying get yourself into. If you are really trying to get into this, you should wait until you get through A School. It will give you enough time to get used to the pipeline, and will let you see if you can handle the seperation. You need to keep in mind that your first month of A school, you arent allowed to own a car nor drive civilian clothes... Your girlfriend has no military rights, and unless shes driving you home when you are drunk, she wont be able to come onto base on her own. You need to keep that in mind as well.

No one can make your decision for you, but we at the very least asking you to think about it!

[mizzyung]

 You need to keep in mind that your first month of A school, you arent allowed to own a car nor drive civilian clothes... Your girlfriend has no military rights, and unless shes driving you home when you are drunk, she wont be able to come onto base on her own. You need to keep that in mind as well.

No one can make your decision for you, but we at the very least asking you to think about it!

You can buy a car if you want or if you already have a car, you can keep it, but you aren't allowed to drive it until you get out of phase 1 which can sometimes be delayed depending upon your SLPO and/or classmates so don't automatically assume you will get out of phase one when you are supposed to. Your girlfriend WILL be allowed on base and can go with you to the bowling alley and sports bar that they have, but she wont be allowed on site of NNPTC. Most people just meet those without military or dependent IDs at a place called the mini-Nex Or Subway which is just outside the barracks with a path they created for easy access. She can pretty much do almost anything on base so long as she has somebody with a military ID (i.e. you) with her. Like I've said; Things have changed.

[NuclearGerm]

You can buy a car if you want or if you already have a car, you can keep it, but you aren't allowed to drive it until you get out of phase 1 which can sometimes be delayed depending upon your SLPO and/or classmates so don't automatically assume you will get out of phase one when you are supposed to. Your girlfriend WILL be allowed on base and can go with you to the bowling alley and sports bar that they have, but she wont be allowed on site of NNPTC. Most people just meet those without military or dependent IDs at a place called the mini-Nex Or Subway which is just outside the barracks with a path they created for easy access. She can pretty much do almost anything on base so long as she has somebody with a military ID (i.e. you) with her. Like I've said; Things have changed.

Thank you very much. This is good to know.

Also, a little bit unrelated to THIS topic, but I didn't want to start a whole new post, do you have to be an MM in order to be an ELT? My understanding is that it requires an additional C School.

Then, another question I had was is it true that I could be trained for Sub in Charleston and not just in NY? I heard that from someone but I don't know how reliable that info is... Thanks again!

[withroaj]

...

 do you have to be an MM in order to be an ELT? My understanding is that it requires an additional C School.

..

Yes... You do have to be a MM to join the elite fraternity that is the ELT community.  Apply only if you are willing to assume the responsibilities of Master of your Domain (thanks, Marssim). 

[NukeLDO]

Yes... You do have to be a MM to join the elite fraternity that is the ELT community.  Apply only if you are willing to assume the responsibilities of Master of your Domain (thanks, Marssim). 

Although anyone with a desire to do so (at least used to be able to...in subs anyway) can qualify secondary chemist....but it comes with the baggage of having to play in the ship's check chemistry monitoring program (you get to analyze samples and be graded on your ability to follow the procedures and obtain accurate results).

[NuclearGerm]

Does ELT pay more? Where can I learn more about this position? My recruiter did not have a lot of information on ELT. It certainly does interest me though! What is master of domain?

[Fermi2]

ELT's are the Master Of The Domain as they are the smartest, most clever, hardest working, handsomest, and most humble of all nuclear beasts.

Mike

[Nukegeek]

I went through nuke school while being married and it was a trying time.  With 40 hrs of class time and (if you are lucky) 40 hrs or greater of study time (A two year curriculum crammed into 6 months) most significant others will have a hard time with this.  I agree, with the other posters that has stated wait for prototype, though the stress is still there, the pace is easier to manage.

Good Luck,

[ravenuke]

Hello everyone.  I've been looking through all of these posts and on several other threads constantly since I discovered this site a few weeks ago.  I leave for basic in November and can't wait.  From all that I have read, this seems like a life worth working very hard towards.
The question that I have is about taking my wife with me to Charleston.  The only thing that I have been able to find is not specific enough. 
If I go to A school as a MM, since it is only 14 weeks long, will she be able to come with me or will she have to wait until I start power school?  I know that this is very early and that I should be worried about basic and being able to make it through all of this, but any of you that are married may be able to sympathize with me.
I don't plan on becoming an MM, but I would still like to keep my bases covered and be able to give her an answer that none of my chain of command have been able to give me.  Other than you will be able to find out when it happens.

edit: Copied to another thread for appropriateness

[aj779]

I decided to just reply to the original post without reading others comments......

1. Understand that long distance is very difficult, but if this relationship is the "real deal" then you both need to square up with the reality that you have a lot of long-distance left to weather in your relationship beyond this training pipeline. If you decide to do long-distance now, which I HIGHLY recommend, it will be the EASIEST long-distance you can expect. You will get to talk everyday, see each other via a webcam, and see each other during breaks. When you are out to see, don't expect any of that.

2. Doing the long-distance now will be VERY telling. You need to know that you can survive it before you wed, and now is the time to try so if things get really bad, you can sacrifice some sleep and be on the phone and work things out. You cannot do this from sea. I do NOT recommend the first time you go long-distance be the first time you deploy. Especially if you are married. Marriages are the first thing to fall off the ship and sink this way.

3. However, if you are both determined that she move to Goose Creek, here is what I recommend: sign a lease together on an apartment near base. There are a lot of decent but not amazing places right off Red Bank Rd. which goes onto base. My husband and I lived in Rosewood Townhomes (4501 Harbour Lake Dr.) Rent was less than $700 with the military discount.  This isn't a GREAT neighborhood, but there is a Food Lion grocery store, Blockbuster, and a few restaurants very nearbye. It is also literally a stone's throw from base.

4. Don't plan on paying the rent. Agree that you both might have to pull from savings for the first couple of months to cover it, but she NEEDS to get a job. Plan on about $150/month for utilities (water, electricity, internet) and even more in the summer if you run the AC.

5. The cost of living is relatively low, especially if you shop at the commissary.

6. Finally, good luck! It's hard. You'll be gone a lot, and she'll have to work a lot. You'll know it's worth it if.....it feels like it's worth it!

[M1Ark]

Thompson made some great points. The key here is that he was MARRIED. The Navy could care less about any girlfriends. 

That is a BIG difference.  I was married going through A School, Power School and Prototype.  The Navy did provide base housing or extra housing allowance due to being married.