Marriage help

[Questet]

I'm enlisting into the Navy and my boyfriend wants to get married before I go.
The only problem is that he has a felon and we are worried it would affect my work in the Navy.
Will marring a felon hold me back in the Navy?

[Camella Black]

This should be addressed with not only your recruiter but his parole/prohbation officer. I do know that many felons cannot travel state to state without permission and have doubts that they can travel overseas. Perhaps you should or could wait until all this is behind him and you get settled in your new career before making such a huge step.

[stormgoalie]

Depending on your rating and the security clearance level required I would think that yes, most definitely it will have some effect on you.  Remember that any organization that requires a security background check looks into you, your family, and those you frequently associate with to assess your reliability and the level of risk associated with you.  Having a convicted felon as a husband does tend to put you into a higher risk status for sure.  Of course I may be wrong, but it is something to think about.

[IPREGEN]

 Do YOU want to marry him? Consider what you want before considering what he wants. There are several types of felonies, nonviolent, violent, white collar crime are examples. What was his?

[Samabby]

" Will marring a felon hold me back in the Navy? "

Yes, and also in general life. He chose his path- you should move along, young Miss. Good luck.

[deltarho]

Wanting to marry you before you go tells me he does not trust you out of his control.  I would ponder what you want out of life, and if being married to a control freak gives you that warm fuzzy... Where are your mentors in life?  What do they have to say about the situation?  The best test to see whether your marriage would last in the military environment is a dry run before you get married--that is, separation for months without contact, save for letters and emails, and the occasional 5-minute calls that you could send while at sea. (Do this while you're in training away from wherever he is while you are still landbased.  I'd say that if it lasts after 12 months of practicing being out to sea, then it may have a chance in the real world) 

My guess is that you are joining the military because he cannot get a job; you are his meal ticket.  If not, I'm glad to be wrong.  Search your feelings young one; PM me if you want to talk more.

deltarho

[DLGN25]

The Navy is a life changing experience.  You will be moving in one direction while your guy remains the same or goes in another.  Just something else for you to consider.

Back to your question.  If the felony conviction of your guy was associated with the sale or possession of drugs, in all likelihood he will repeat, especially if you are not there to keep him straight.  The last thing you want is to be in the Indian Ocean wondering if or when your husband will revert to his old habits and get busted.  If he does you will too be investigated. 

As far as your security clearance goes, your continued association with this guy will raise flags.  While confidential and secret clearances are record checks only, they will find out about his history.  As was previously pointed out on this forum, your judgment is one of the main points of interest in the background investigation.  In my opinion, continued association with a convected felon questions your judgment.  Whether that is enough to prevent you from getting a confidential or secret clearance, I do not know.  I do know there would be some real hard questions to answer to get a top secret clearance.

Now for some more downside news.  It is quite possible your association with him has already caused you a problem.  Unfortunately, because the background checks are not started until you have actually entered active service, there could be a big surprise awaiting you.

My advice is for you dump this guy and move on, or minimally wait until you make E-4 or E-5, to make the wedding decision, if there is still a decision to be made. 

Sorry, but life is not always fair.

[deltarho]

DLGN25,

You know, there's something to be said for those who can say that they served on the Tommy T. or the Billy B.. What does it mean if you served on both like I did?  Seems like those who served on at least one of these are all cut from the same cloth...

deltarho

Definitely an eye-opening experience when the fickle finger of fate billets you in this order: CGN37==>CGN35==>CGN25.  Perhaps that is why I butt into others' business; I'm using my closed in, sardine can relationship building skills.