Please show me the job you're applying for that necessitates descriptions of all those positions.
It's a boilerplate resume, to be honest, for handing out at the job fairs on campus and for generic internship applications. Pretty much meant to shotgun all potential areas, it's not tailored for any specific job at the moment. I'm aware that I should re-write it for each and every actual job application, but that seems to be a little over the top for job fairs and a generic resume for sticking into the online resume bank on campus.
So what, you were the dose, ram, and rppo? The only people who recognize that crap are navy nukes (and they don't care). Maybe mention how you managed the supply and logistics of a 20-person work group, with a critical eye towards quality assurance, admin, and procedural compliance; a net savings of $437.29 and 136 mrem over a 14 month period!
And two different training positions, really? Pick 3 or 4 major roles and capture the collateral duties in their description.
So your advice is to back away from the job descriptions/bullets and go for a more formally written format, with specific achievements? I considered that, but I can't really say I've saved X man-rem or Y $'s, though. I don't know any of those numbers, unfortunately, and I'd have no idea how to calculate them. It's on the scale of not ordering 50 pairs of anti-c's and just walking down to the C105 shack and snagging 50 pair from their supply locker, not 'I saved the US Navy $5000 by doing this,' or 'Under my direct supervision, we completed a DMD 500 mrem under our allowed man-rem.'
And... How does one make ELT into 3-4 major roles? I mean, I guess I could break it apart into radcon, chemistry, and training, since that's pretty much what I did, but even then, there's not a lot that I can really write. Or am I making a mistake in assuming that most people would be familiar with those roles and their responsibilities?
In other words... Am I making this too complicated? Like, TAP, the campus career services people, etc, all suggested that I write my resume this way, and I figured I should get some additional advice on it, since I'm starting to head into the wacky world of internships and actually needing to look for a job now.
Couple buzzwords for you: safety, safety, teamwork, safety, safety. Check out the INPO pillars, your prospective company's near and dear values, etc.
How do you integrate safety into a stock submarine ELT job? I don't think I've ever done anything involved with safety, aside from making sure I always wore my PPE because it kept the shipyard guys from sending complaints to our chain of command when we didn't have our hardhats on in the engineroom. Just the routine stuff like that, no specific safety supervisor or safety training. Same with teamwork, really. I don't have any 'real' leadership experience, the closest was playing acting LELT for a couple days. ERS is not really leadership experience, IMO, especially when you only stood it for proficiency.
Do yourself a favor and google resume writing tips. Cater that thing to the job description! Yours is a laundry list of responsibilities with exactly zero accomplishments. Or were you going to mention that end-of-tour NAM at the bottom?? 
My end-of-tour NAM was tossed to me by the skipper as I walked out of the door. It was literally last-minute, I had to walk the paperwork over to PSD so they could shove it in my personnel record before I separated. The less I think about my EoT NAM, the better. It kept me on base an extra 45 minutes after I was supposed to be out of the Navy.
