Married Nuke DEP'er with some questions

[Utavon]

Hey all,

First, I wanted to give a thank you to the people that make up this community. You've answered a ton of questions for me from a non-biased third party perspective over the past month, and it helped me make an informed choice at MEPS even though my recruiter put me there 12 days after I filled out a Navy application.

Some background - I got married to the love of my life on 3/3/2012 at the age of 19. I made the decision to marry her because I love her and I feel like marriage is the right thing to do when you care so much about someone. I chose to lock myself in now because the Navy doesn't care about girlfriends or fiances. And if you're going to do it later anyways, why wait and lose out on the benefits? My questions are as follows:

1. Do I receive family separation while at RTC?

2. If the Navy is going to pay to move my family, how is that done? Are a bunch of moving men going to come to my residence and move my wife and our possessions to my new base? Or are we going to be given an allotment to cover reasonable moving expenses? My chief concern is that I will be going from Chicago, IL (RTC) to Goose Creek, SC (Nuclear A School) with no break in between to help my wife pack and move her down to SC with me.

3. I am interested in putting Machinist's Mate at the top of my Wish List at RTC, and by the looks of things, the Navy will probably put me there whether I want it or not. I hear that A school for MM is 3 months long. If my memory from prior research is correct, then the Navy will only move your family if you are re based somewhere for more than 12 weeks. If I go MM, will my wife be moved down to Goose Creek with me? Or will I have to wait for the next school to move her?

4. I understand the "Needs of the Navy" mantra very well, so I understand that answers to this question are speculative. My wife and I have relatives in Virginia, and we live in New Jersey now, so keeping relations with old friends and our families would be easier if we were based in Virginia. As I understand it, 5 aircraft carriers are based in Norfolk, VA, and I'm pretty sure another one is based somewhere else in the state. If I do not volunteer for subs and I put the state of Virginia at the top of my Wish List during the Nuke pipeline, is it reasonable to expect that that wish be fulfilled?

5. On that topic, when do you learn where you will be based after prototype? Do I learn the tentative deployment schedule of my ship when I am assigned a base? I understand that things are always subject to change, but thankfully that's not usually the case with a ship such as an aircraft carrier.

6. I am told that once I graduate Nuke School, I will be eligible for the "Star Reenlistment" package that will let me extend my active duty contract by 2 years, eliminate the inactive reserves segment, and take home roughly $60,000. Should I take it? Or should I wait until my current contract is closer to expiration to negotiate an extension?

7. I want kids eventually. I hear nothing but bad things about kids raised under active military members. However, my wife doesn't want to have kids after 30. What is it really like to have kids while active in the military? I have this idea in my head that I want to have my kids just after 8 years or so of service and pick up a job as a police officer wherever I settle down. I see the police as military members that don't get deployed, so that would be a great fit for an ex-military family man.

Thanks in advance for all of your helpful and informational comments!!

[drayer54]

Hey all,

First, I wanted to give a thank you to the people that make up this community. You've answered a ton of questions for me from a non-biased third party perspective over the past month, and it helped me make an informed choice at MEPS even though my recruiter put me there 12 days after I filled out a Navy application.

Some background - I got married to the love of my life on 3/3/2012 at the age of 19. I made the decision to marry her because I love her and I feel like marriage is the right thing to do when you care so much about someone. I chose to lock myself in now because the Navy doesn't care about girlfriends or fiances. And if you're going to do it later anyways, why wait and lose out on the benefits? My questions are as follows:

1. Do I receive family separation while at RTC?

2. If the Navy is going to pay to move my family, how is that done? Are a bunch of moving men going to come to my residence and move my wife and our possessions to my new base? Or are we going to be given an allotment to cover reasonable moving expenses? My chief concern is that I will be going from Chicago, IL (RTC) to Goose Creek, SC (Nuclear A School) with no break in between to help my wife pack and move her down to SC with me.

3. I am interested in putting Machinist's Mate at the top of my Wish List at RTC, and by the looks of things, the Navy will probably put me there whether I want it or not. I hear that A school for MM is 3 months long. If my memory from prior research is correct, then the Navy will only move your family if you are re based somewhere for more than 12 weeks. If I go MM, will my wife be moved down to Goose Creek with me? Or will I have to wait for the next school to move her?

4. I understand the "Needs of the Navy" mantra very well, so I understand that answers to this question are speculative. My wife and I have relatives in Virginia, and we live in New Jersey now, so keeping relations with old friends and our families would be easier if we were based in Virginia. As I understand it, 5 aircraft carriers are based in Norfolk, VA, and I'm pretty sure another one is based somewhere else in the state. If I do not volunteer for subs and I put the state of Virginia at the top of my Wish List during the Nuke pipeline, is it reasonable to expect that that wish be fulfilled?

5. On that topic, when do you learn where you will be based after prototype? Do I learn the tentative deployment schedule of my ship when I am assigned a base? I understand that things are always subject to change, but thankfully that's not usually the case with a ship such as an aircraft carrier.

6. I am told that once I graduate Nuke School, I will be eligible for the "Star Reenlistment" package that will let me extend my active duty contract by 2 years, eliminate the inactive reserves segment, and take home roughly $60,000. Should I take it? Or should I wait until my current contract is closer to expiration to negotiate an extension?

7. I want kids eventually. I hear nothing but bad things about kids raised under active military members. However, my wife doesn't want to have kids after 30. What is it really like to have kids while active in the military? I have this idea in my head that I want to have my kids just after 8 years or so of service and pick up a job as a police officer wherever I settle down. I see the police as military members that don't get deployed, so that would be a great fit for an ex-military family man.

Thanks in advance for all of your helpful and informational comments!!

1) Ask your recruiter for the most up to date information on getting sep pay during RTC. My bet would be no, but he is getting paid to take care of you and that is a simple question for a recruiter.

2) You will have to deal with the housing office in Goose Creek for that one. Odds are you'll be moving your crap down to the Goose Creek and turning in receipts. They will advance you some money for the move. You should be able to get a few days to move her down.

3) -1 GCE . You will be just fine regardless of what rate you pick. 'A' School is about a pitching wedge distance from power school. Pick the job you want and learn to like the one you get.

4) He who wants a Norfolk based carrier, almost always gets a Norfolk based carrier. It's about the only sure thing out there. Most people dream of the West coast and cry their way to Norfolk. I asked for 3 Norfolk based carriers and got none of the above Norfolk carrier.... so it does work. That actually worked out for the best, I don't think I would have liked being an Enterprise guy as much as I thought that I would.

5) You'll find out what home you will have at the end of prototype. Deployment schedule will be given to you upon arrival at your ship. Those change all the time.... usually not for the better. You should be skeptical of any rumor that comes your way regarding ship schedules or well, anything really.

6) That question is for you to answer, not anyone else. You shouldn't answer that question until you have qualified a few watches and know what it is you will be signing up for.

7) I've seen a few guys take a look at their kid for the first time on a computer in a crowded office thousands of miles away. Even worse, I've seen guys take a look at their kid for the first time not that many miles away in the same office. I waited until I knew that I had seen my last ship because the above was my biggest nightmare. Different strokes for different folks, but you'll have to wait and make up your own mind. I would urge you to wait and have the kids when you'll actually be around them. You also don't know what you want to do when you get out. Keep an open mind. Cops are not military.... not even close. Edit: Things you may have heard about kids being raised in military families are probably case scenarios and generalizations. The parenting methods you use will have far more impact on your kids upbringing than the uniform you wear.

Good luck to you. Most of this is stuff that you don't need to know yet and will be handled later. I know the desire to have the answers and be able to understand what your life is going to look like in the coming years. I was there and the same way. You just made a huge step in life and are about to make another huge step. I'd take it easy and enjoy what time you will have off in the coming months and years before getting too wrapped up in some of this.

[HeavyD]

1.    No.  Family Separation Allowance (FSA) is paid when a service member is away from their homeport for greater than 30 days.  Recruits and members in a training status are not eligible.

2.   When the Navy tells you that you can move your family, you (or your wife) will setup a “pack day” and a “move day”.  Both should be self explanatory.  First one, a group of folks shows up and packs all your stuff that the Navy will move.  The second, the movers show up and load it all onto a truck.  As part of the setup process, you/your wife will be given info on what can be moved, taking inventory, scheduling a delivery date/time, etc.  One piece of advice, take pictures of EVERYTHING before the packers show up.  Picture evidence of the condition of a piece of furniture before it was placed into the hands of the moving company is invaluable when you go to file a claim.

3.   Regardless of which rate you get assigned, both “A” School and Power School are in Goose Creek.  So that’s between 3 and 6 months (not sure how long EM and ET “A” School are now, back in 1991-1992 they were 4 and 6 months) for “A” School, then another 6 months for Power School.  If you are sent to prototype in Goose Creek, that’s another 6 months.  Then, if you are one of the lucky ones as an MM, you could get selected for ELT (Engineering Laboratory Technician), which is another 3 months.

4.   Currently, the following carriers are based in Norfolk, VA.  USS ENTERPRISE – set for decommissioning starting after her upcoming deployment, sometime in 2013 (decom, not deployment that is).  USS DWIGHT D EISENHOWER, USS THEODORE ROOSEVELT  (currently undergoing refueling and overhaul in Newport News, across the James River from Norfolk.  Current scheduled to rejoin the operational fleet in June of 2013.), USS HARRY S TRUMAN, USS GEORGE H. W. BUSH.  Each carrier has around 400 nukes total, with the exception of the ENTERPRISE, which has about 800.  So, as Drayer stated, your chances of going to a carrier in Norfolk are good if that’s what you want.

5.   While at prototype, you will fill out a “dream sheet” of where you want to go.  Some time before your graduate, you will receive a set of Permanent Change of Station (PCS) orders to a specific ship.  Deployment schedule is considered part of OPSEC, or Operational Security.  No one is “supposed” to give that info out publicly.  When you get to the ship, they will tell you.

6.   This link http://www.public.navy.mil/bupers-npc/reference/milpersman/1000/1100Recruitinig/Documents/1160-100.pdf will take you to the section of the MILPERSMAN (Military Personnel Manual) that deals with the program you are talking about.  STAR (Selective Training and Re-enlistment) is the name.  Important note, you must be at 21 months of service, at the bare minimum.  MOST Nuke Sailors will not be allowed to reenlist unless they have reported to their first seagoing command.  Keep that in mind.

7.   My wife and I waited until I went to shore duty to have our first son.  I was fortunate that I got to transfer back to prototype as an instructor after 3 years on the ENTERPRISE.  Our 2nd son was born while I was stationed on the EISENHOWER, during the ship’s refueling overhaul.  We weren’t going anywhere for 3 ½ years, so it was an ideal time.  However, keep this in mind.  While you are gone, your wife WILL be a single mother.  PERIOD.  She will have to take care of everything, and trust me, nothing goes wrong while you are home.  The minute the ship is out past the 12 mile mark, BAM, things around your house start to fall apart.  My advice would be to make sure that your relationship is a good, solid one that can endure the being away for workups and deployments before you make the lifelong commitment that is children.

Last bit of advice.  When you get to “A” School, put this other crap like where you are going to get stationed and when you can reenlist in the back of your mind.  Focus on school.  If you don’t get on top of things from the start, the program WILL chew you up and spit you out.  Max effort and good attitude are key.  You will be asked to do some stupid $hit by some equally stupid people.  Deal with it.  Others will get good deals while you will get screwed.  Again, deal with it.  Work hard to show everyone that you work with and for that you are a “hot runner” and that you are a competent and reliable operator and sailor.

Good luck, welcome to the community and thank you for volunteering. 

[Utavon]

Thanks for the advice. I know I'm probably worrying too much about details that I can't control, but that's just the kind of person I am.

Thanks again for your help

[DS358]

1.  I received family separation allowance in boot camp.  It isn't such a large amount to worry about though.  BAH is where the real money is at in boot camp that you will receive over your unmarried counterparts.

2.  You can either do a "navy move" or a "dity move."  A navy move means that you will stay in Goose Creek.  A few days after you arrive you will attend a few briefs for married people and get the choice for a move.  The navy move means a professional moving company comes to your home of record and packs your belongings and brings them to your new home in Goose Creek.  A DITY move means that you go home, you pack up your own belongings and drive wherever you are coming from to Goose Creek.  You are given a day for every 350 miles you are away by car as well as another day just in case as well as another day for packing.  You will be the only one who can determine which will be best for you,  I personally did a navy move because I had a lot of household goods.

3.  If you want to be a machinist mate, chances are that you will get it.  50% of nukes are machinists mates, 20% electronics technicians, and 30% electricians mates.  Most of the people in my division and my brother division got their first choices.  The navy will move your wife down very shortly after you report to Goose Creek, you will be at the command longer than 6 months, so the length of time in your specific A school has no effect on the 6 month requirement you are talking about.

4. I am only in "A" school, so take what I say with a grain of salt.  There are 400 nukes on each aircraft carrier.  There are 5 aircraft carriers stationed in Norfolk right now, so I would assume that most of the surface nukes who are on sea duty are located there. 

7.  I am married with two children in nuke school.  I am not having any family issues while here at nuke school.  My wife did have a little bit of adjusting to do while I was at boot camp for 10+ weeks (due to all the holidays and 3 day weekends at RTC in the winter time).  But I think if your wife can make it through your separation at boot camp, then she should be able to survive you being on an aircraft carrier.  Your ability to contact your wife at boot camp will be practically non-existent.  I called my wife three times during boot camp for a total of less than 1 hour.  We both wrote each other everyday, but by the time my letters got to her from boot camp they were about 10 days old because they only collected mail once a week in my division.  Use boot camp as a scale to determine how strong your relationship is.  If she can handle it and you want kids, then by all means have kids if that is what you want.  Just know that a lot of people seem to have a lot of trouble with their grades during nuke school and end up having to put a lot of time in studying, a lot of it mandatory.  If you are very strong academically, you may be able to be on volunteer hours, but do not count on it until you see how you do on your first weeks in class at the Rickover.  I was raised in a military family, my father is retired navy.  I have no ill memories of my upbringing under a military family.

[Fermi2]

Derek,

You did an excellent job.

Thanks for your effort.