What's Your best excuse for being late?

[greengoo]

I've used options 3 and 4 often, they are usually honest too.  My habits have since changed.

[Austria]

Once told my supervisor that I simply slept through my alarm and that's why I was late. His reply, apparently expecting some great adventure excuse was...."that's all?"
So I explained that I was really kidnapped by aliens and taken to their spaceship for 6 months but when they returned me to Earth it was only an hour later. "That's more like it", he said smiling and walked off.  

[TK]

Ferret ate my alarm clock in the middle of the night. True story.

[Melissa White]

How about the best excuse for not coming in...ever..

Something like: Hate you, mean it, I'm not coming in for the rest of my life...dfr.  Something like that.

[Doc_REM]

I didn't use this one, but it's a CLASSIC...
I have a problem with my butt...it's stuck to a bar stool! [smiley=beerchug.gif]

[Rennhack]

Wife was ovulating. Wanted a baby.

God, I can relate to that.

[RP Instructor]

I wouldn't have the b*lls to try this:

A co-worker, who was supposed to work the night shift after a seven-day break, called in to work that afternoon, while on a trans-Atlantic flight returning from Europe. Thought we'd all be impressed that he was using the Airphone to call the plant.

[duder2112]

The old 'flat tire ' has come up a few times. A former co-worker's grandmother (the same one) passed away 3 times in an 18 month period(I know this one's off-topic but c'mon).  My personal fave is sleeping through the alarm.

[sundevil]

Well the best excuse I have ever heard was by a Tech who called in and said he was dead. Later at another time the same tach called in and told the station Tech that there was only 13 duck billed platypus in the world and one of them just crashed landed in his front yard and that he would not be in because he had to take it to the vet. As for myself I just ended up being so hung over I ended up calling in late and then sick on a day that I had Vacation.

[allforthenukie]

Don't know if this one counts since it is true and not made up.
Caught up in post 911 security checkpoint backups and traffic jams. When I get to site boundary 20 mins early and still am late for work, quite the cluster.  Has happened to me several times.

[doctormoo]

how about this one
my eyes hurt and i can see to get there

had a major migrane and was at the hospital
the doctor had just given me a shot of morphine
the supervisor from work came and took me home
pre-ffd

another one was when i was at pallisades 20 years ago
my car was blown off the road and into a ditch by a gust of wind off the lake it was mid winter and about 5 degrees outside
ended up at a diary farm staying warm pushing manure for the farmer while he milked the cows
it was warmer there than in the farmers office

took a long time to live that one down

[Roll Tide]

Don't know if this one counts since it is true and not made up.
Caught up in post 911 security checkpoint backups and traffic jams. When I get to site boundary 20 mins early and still am late for work, quite the cluster.  Has happened to me several times.

I'll vouch for that excuse. Since9/11, I don't think I have used any other.
(+Karma Nukie)

[stirfry]

How bout this one.......

I just woke up ..... Nothing in this room looks familiar, and as soon as I find my Vehicle I will be in ..... If not i'm Sick.........


True story

[JIMBOMAFF]

I had to stop and get donuts.

[greengoo]

Nothing is off topic here.  As long as it relates to any aspect of lateness.  Stirfry, I can relate.

[darkmatter]

I had to stop and get donuts.

I can relate, I called in late and was told: " You better bring in donuts then"

[Jill]

Hell, I got a gazillion of them, ask my last couple of bosses, and for the record, 95% of them were true!  And to make it more fun, if I have a new excuse then it doesn't count against me!  However, honesty has gotten me in deep poop with this issue!  And, of course, the old payment has been thrown to the wayside, what happened to the good ole days when if you were late you had to bring donuts?!  (I'd be obese!)  That is an old trait that needs to make a reappearance!  I'm doing my part to try, thank god Duncan Donuts is right on my way!

[Jill]

How about the best excuse for not coming in...ever..

Something like: Hate you, mean it, I'm not coming in for the rest of my life...dfr.  Something like that.

Hell, the best "quit" I've ever seen was the girl just ran up to the gate and threw her badge over,.....gone.....

[Phurst]

Come in late? Why?

[cpottsjr]

With all us old farts out here, I'm really surprised someone hasn't taken/mentioned my best one  ---  at the hospital being checked out for a heart attack!  A few months and a triple by-pass later, back to work, after the urging of the tech-in-charge at the next desk (ALARA office) who was feelin' the pressure. All's good now, 32 months till full retire, HAVE to wait for medical benes before I walk.

[greengoo]

I used tis one many times and actually pleased my boss with the genius of it.  "Are the parts I need in yet...No.  Then why the hell do you want me to come in and have you pay me to just sit here and stare at this piece of junk cause I don't have the parts to fix it?"  This is true and my boss never could fire me because I made him more money with my thinking... and I didn't even have to lie, cheat, or steal to do it.

Greengoo

[Roll Tide]

A co-worker didn't even call in. His excuse (when he called in after his shift had already left work to go back home) was that he had gotten locked inside his outside storage unit at home and his wife thought he rode to work with someone else so his car was still in the driveway.

(Not saying it didn't happen that way, but I hear he is much more reliable since Rehab)

[DainJer]

This wasn't work...but a friend of mine had a habit of dissappearing for a few days at a time.

He was off on an adventure, and knew his wife would be upset....So he calls her breathless and exclaims...

"Honey! I Escaped....Whatever you do! Don't pay the ransom! I'll be home as quick as I can! *click*"

Of course it didn't work, but we got the best 10 minutes of hysterical laughing in our life from it.

[darkson]

was having some vision problems just couldn't see coming to work

had leg problems just could't stand another day at work

[Atomic_Punk]

I'm having mechanical problems, I can't get my @$$ into gear.

[JessJen]

just to check if you boss is observant

for the ladies: my testicles hurt

and for the guys out there: oh god my ovaries my ovaries it must be all the lifting I just cant do it I may burst an ovary

[RAD-GHOST]

It was years ago, I was the house supervisor and took the call, name to remain annonymous!

Ring, Ring, Ring!

Q.....Hello.

A.....This is ****** I'm not going to make it in today!

Q.....Are you sick?

A.....NO!

Q.....Hurt?

A.....NO!

Q.....I have to put down something?

A.....OK, sick.

Q....Ok, you got it!

A.....Buy the way, I won't be in torrow, either!

Q....Sick again?

A.....Yea, you can put that one down again.

Q.....Ok, sick it is.

A..... I don't think I'll be in the following day either!

Q.....OK, when do you think you will be able to make it back?

A.....Next Outage!

[Iowa_HP]

RadGhost,
That is probably one of the best that I've heard of todate! Thanks for the laugh!

[Roll Tide]

was having some vision problems just couldn't see coming to work

had leg problems just could't stand another day at work

A chip off the old block. Don't take that as a compliment, but I am impressed that they could get a chip off something that twisted!

[nukedawg]

I had rectal glaucoma----Couldn't see my butt being here!

[greengoo]

Woke up having had an epiphone, I hate my job.

[red1016]

I wasn't feeling well. Had the taste of dial soap in my mouth. Still won't buy that stuff. Husband doesn't mind!

[RAD-GHOST]

Here is a recent one, we knew what he meant!

I'm taking my wife to the doctor today.  He's going to get her pregnant and she wants me to watch the whole procedure!   

[Surveyors_mato]

....We were supposed to be in at 07:00?.............awh Hell!

[greengoo]

I am here, what more do you want?

[Nuclear NASCAR]

The one I'm using in the morning.  I didn't realize getting 2 wisdom teeth pulled was gonna hurt this bad!

[radrat]

hear is one that I took on the phone at and SGRP
this guy calls into the office and said he was sick . I asked if he was going to be ok and his reply was "I will be as soon as my stomach stops running off"
I didnt quite know what the heck that ment but it wasnt somthing I wanted, so I put him down for the next day to.

[chicklet]

I went out drinking with my boss one night and he said I could call in the next day, however he forgot to show up himself so we both got talked to.

[beacher]

I call in and tell them I'm having woman problems, and they never ask anymore questions.

[nukedog]

What I do is park in lot at the plant. I grab my car tires and rub some tire and dirt on them. Stroll in like nothing is wrong. When you get in there and ask why you are late tell them a little old lady had a flat and you had to stop and help. If they don't bite on ask them if they know where thier moms and grandmothers are this morning. That usally gets them to shut up.

[halflifer]

Come in late? Why?

because a lot of us work to live, not the other way around . besides, Glenn, you can't afford to miss the bus.....when would you do your writing?
I was at an outage one time and they used the security gate log as a time clock, with one modification....they expected us to gate in at quarter til because they had figured it took us 15 minutes to get to the RP office, get our coats off, etc.
I got called on the carpet for 'only' punching in 5 mins early. When asked why, I told the RPM "I only came in to count out and didn't figure the @^$*##> body counter was warmed up yet."

[USMCRADCON]

I had the honor of hearing this excuse from the infamous "Birdman" Davis.  Or better known as "Torpedo Tom".

TD - I won't be able to make it in the next 3 day
JR - Is everything OK?
TD - Yeah, but my pigeons *hu-hu* are mating this weekend *hu-hu* and I *hu-hu* have to be there.

Definitely the most original I have ever had the pleasure of hearing.  Of course I let him off. 

I still laugh about that one

[LaFeet]

After never having any problems riding a motorcycle, I move to Oklahoma.

One morning I came over the hill and managed to intercept a flock (is that the right group name) of buzzards munching on a fairly ripe deer.  missed most of them, but three managed to fly right into me and my bike...... between the cedars and bobwire along side the road I managed to stop without much injury.....needless to say my boss dropped the phone laughing when I called on my cell.....  went back home and drank myself silly.

[llamagramma]

Last summer my  Llama got heat stroke. I called in saying that I wouldn't be in until my DannyBoy was ok. The Vet gave him some injections and medicine and he got better. So I went back to work the next day. He died in Dec at age 21.

[Mike McFarlin]

Can't lock my Vette, the T-tops are broken...

[illegalsmile]

In 1981, I was working at 9Mile Pt when 2 of our techs who had the previous day off called in saying they were stuck in Mexico and didn't have any way to get in. Mexico is a village about 5 miles from the plant. We offered to come pick them up, figuring they were at Beck's or the Eiss House, in no shape to drive (this was pre-FFD remember).
When we asked where in Mexico they were, there was a brief pause while they discussed it. Then the answere: "Matamoros." It seems they had gotten off work the prior day and started doing shots of Tequila, ran out and headed out to get more. No liquor stores were open in Oswego at 9AM (these were Night Shifters) so they headed to Syracuse hoping for better luck.
They passed the Syracuse airport before they found a liquor store, and in their "state of mind" it seemed reasonable to catch a plane to Chicago, then Houston and a hop to Brownsville.
Maybe we were making too much money in those days.

[ronbo]

There was one guy I worked with that had a million of em.  He called in sick one day using the building Pax Phone.  Apparently, he didn't want to stay at work.  He's also the guy who called in saying he was going to be late because his dog just had kittens.  He don't work here no more.

[Mike_Koehler]

While working a D&D in Mass. I had a very understanding boss. I called in once from NY city and told him I was calling in well. He said  "What?" and I replied that I felt too good to come to work.

[maxxchia]

One of the guy's in my department (MM2 Moore) aka 'Meat Stick' once stated, "I'm late because when I heard my alarm clock, I thought it was a time bomb...  therefore I got up and diffused the bomb and thought 'cool, we are all safe now' and I went back to bed."

-max

[JessJen]

the baby pooped and it crawled up his back, into his hat, and socks, then onto the sofa which it claimed as a new colony. Its still there drinking tea after eating the dog.

what can i say the kids got some bad poops....people seem to understand being late for this

[Rad Sponge]

My wife rolled over on my "blanK" and it took awhile to get her off.....of me.

[radarts1967]

one that i heard just last week was:

when the technician was asked why didnt he come into work, the answer was, and I quote:

" I forgot I had to come into work today"

this tech said this in all seriousness.....hmmmm, what do you think? time for some ffd testing?

have a great one

[Roll Tide]

this tech said this in all seriousness.....hmmmm, what do you think? time for some ffd testing?

Depends on the schedule. I have seen guys call in sick on their day off (rotating 6-12s!)

[pronountrouble6]

  Tooooooooooo many Beeeeeeeeeeeeers!!

[SloGlo]

square biz, tru tale....

i got to work about an hour late when i wuz a junior of about 3 months. 
willie, the lead man, looks at me 'n sez 'you'd better have a note from your mom for being this late!' 
i sez 'i don't have a note from my mom, but i got this here note on the way in', 'n i give him a ticket that the state boys had presented me with.
he starts reading aloud, 'failure to stop for a stop sign, exceeding the speed limit, crossing the center line, expired vehicle inspection, expired drivers license, expired license plates.  son, what'd this cost you?'   
'oh, willie, yinz forgot to reed the first line, up at the top, in red ink.  that explains it.'
'warning...... warning?  you got a freaking warning for alla this?  how'd you get a warning for alla these violations?'

sad to say boys 'n girls, but the rest of the story cannot be toll hare.   

[tigger]

I think the one that got the most laughs... I called work and told them I would be a little late, I was having a shitty morning. When I got to work, my supervisor asked what was so wrong.... I had stepped in a puppy pile in my yard.

[Gonzo]

cuz i didn't get here til now

[Dream Tar Heel]

My back hurts!

Trust me..........

[Brett LaVigne]

Dante Firman and I called in "unfit for duty" one evening from the Country Gal at DC Cook. Circa 1992

[JIMBOMAFF]

There was a tech working at Turkey Point that was late or didn't show up at all.  Hog*** was the coordinator and told the young lad that the next time he was late he would be DPD (Down Palm Drive).  The tech call the next day and stated that his wife had died!!!!!  He was excused and as road techs are, we passed the hat.  The tech in question came into work the next day.  When asked about his story of a family death, he stated that "No she didn't die, she was just sick."  This was back in the 80's.

[nothinbuttrouble]

i called a site coordinator at beaver valley and told him i was going to be late.  he asked me why told him i was lost and didnt know my way to work.  needless to say when i hit the gate i was told to come to his office.  oh well
he was the best site coordinator i ever had (EC).  to bad he is in retirement in the south.  sure do miss seeing him and having adult beverages at the famous skidway.   

[remowil55]

In 16 years i have missed 1 day of work, docs orders. I guess something is wrong,with me. I have never been late, and after all this time, it has counted for nothing. Is something wrong there. Remo

[Roll Tide]

In 16 years i have missed 1 day of work, docs orders. I guess something is wrong,with me. I have never been late, and after all this time, it has counted for nothing. Is something wrong there. Remo

Perhaps you would be rewarded if you could come up with entertaining excuses under pressure? 

[greengoo]

Got a new one, for me anyway.
"Why are you late?"
"Because you told me to find the moron in training(trainee) and bring pick him up for work."

[blackballedsnake]

I was on me way to McGuire (on nights), and me headlamps on me truck were gettin' dimmer and dimmer. I called in to tell them I was changin' me alternator in da' parking lot of an auto parts store!!

[retired nuke]

Dante Firman and I called in "unfit for duty" one evening from the Country Gal at DC Cook. Circa 1992

Yeah, he missed about a week at Vogtle, thought it was only a couple of days...early '90s

Hope he comes up for our outage at VY....

[atomicarcheologist]

I was on me way to McGuire (on nights), and me headlamps on me truck were gettin' dimmer and dimmer. I called in to tell them I was changin' me alternator in da' parking lot of an auto parts store!!

This morning after my truck started blowing cold air and the charging system idiot light came on, I called my associate and said I would be replacing an alternator belt, whenever the auto parts store opened, that is.  I got in 4 hours later.  They sold me the wrong belt, but I didn't realize it until after I had everything replaced and started the adjusting of the alternator tension.  When I ran out of threads I knew I had a problem.  Thank goodness for cell phones.   

[blackballedsnake]

Plus...a high mechanical aptitude, and a well stocked tool box doesn't hurt at all

[stownsend]

How about the tech who called in using a ship to shore radio.Iwon't be in today -over

[SloGlo]

How about the tech who called in using a ship to shore radio.Iwon't be in today -over

!  oh mercy.  i don't know why, but this reminded me of that tech who got bounced from da songs u1 s/g resleeving outage in '81.  when he finished his exit interview 'n body count, daddy's heliocopter landed 'n picked him up.  freeking histerically weigh two go!
my bad, off topic post, eye yam off two my corner now..................................

[Nuke Lifer]

I live in the Bizaro world

I got in trouble for showing up to work! I had a mild heart attack on a Thursday and had Friday scheduled off. I had a cath , two new stents, released Sunday. I didn't call anyone from work to tell them. Why do they needd to know, right?

So I show up at work with a little limp from the hole in my groin. Boss asks, "why you limpin?" I tell him and he chews me a big one! Sumthin about he's gotta know if we're FFD? I was fine. Still am!

[Marlin]

"I'm calling in well, it's to d#$n nice a day to come in." This was not a problem after two and half months on 7-12s, I was not the only one.

[Evilpixie]

"I slept in because the fighting lesbians next door kept me up all night before they were finally arrested at 3am..."

Course, the one I like best is defined as "Occupational Sexual Ocular Dysfunction"... can't *flippin* see coming to work! 

[LaFeet]

Heard one not too long ago.... "I'm sorry, but your daughter refuses to let go of my c***"   I still recall the phone hitting the floor....

[MMCDude]

With all us old farts out here, I'm really surprised someone hasn't taken/mentioned my best one  ---  at the hospital being checked out for a heart attack! 

I wasn't late for work that day.  It was a saturday morning, we were in the shipyard, I relieved the duty and waited for everyone else to go home before I hurt enough that I finally went for the ambulance ride to the hospital to get checked out...   

[stewdill]

Mostly I never use an excuse I just say I am going to be late. But I had a co worker who called in late because a bee stung his b#ll sac.

[LaFeet]

Im not late... Im just real early for tomorrow

[navytwinmom]

I never have to come up with an excuse....if I think I am going to be late I call the boss and tell her i need a mental health day and i ain't coming in. She never gives me any problems...guess they know one day I might go postal on them.

Lucky for them this only happens about 2x per year. 

[Turbo]

I've called in late on my day off before during an outage.(Lots of hours one can get sleepy).  But normally if I 'm running a little late I tell the supervisor that I woke up dead, or that I was haveing a difficult time figuring out where I put myself.  That normally gets me off the hook.  BUt then again I'm not late very often.

[ADANTE25]

drunk at Harbor View Wines and Liquors  https://maps.app.goo.gl/dhB7C29Zxt3HdUYMA

[joebeats]

Middle 80s I called in and told them at Millstone that felt too good to come in.