Forget that fancy, wordy stuff. Say it as plainly as you can. If you did radiation surveys, say so. If you were a mechanical operator on a nuclear powered aircraft carrier, say that.
A while back, someone was passing around this "advice" to sailors that ended up with a whole bunch of them having the exact same BULLS4!T in them.
Nobody likes to be BSed, and nukes are about smart enough to know when you're trying to. When a MM1/SS uses a phrase like, "responsible for operations and maintenance of nuclear power plant on a 130 person mobile facility" it sounds like crap. Not only is it ridiculous to say things like that, but it keeps you from writing about the things you really did, and that you should be proud of. Instead of hiding your Navy service behind some flowery, meaningless disguise language, stand up as proud and tall as you can and say, "This is what I did!"
If you were the Repair Parts Petty Officer (for example), write something like: "I was assigned duty as Reactor Mechanical Division Repair Parts Petty Officer. As RPPO, I was responsible for keeping the inventory of parts and supplies for the division in addition to my duties as a plant operator."
This is a simple way of telling that you were:
1. entrusted with an important job.
2. able to handle more than a single job
3. able to support the work of others by keeping them supplied
4. familiar with logistics, supply chain management, and PAPERWORK
Employers don't actually realize that they are doing this, but they are using your resume to measure your ability to communicate coherent thoughts clearly. If they have to scratch their heads a lot while reading what you write, they ain't a gonna hire ya on.
Don't be afraid to use COMPLETE SENTENCES, with nouns and verbs and everythin'. The "experts" say to use bullet lists for everything, but they took it way too far. ONLY use them to group a series of similar and equal things. You wouldn't equate being a nuclear plant mechanical operator with being the RM division representative to the ship's movie selection committee. So, don't put them into the same list. Each distinct area of responsibility deserves its own (brief) paragraph. Use the lists to enumerate things like this:
I performed preventive and corrective maintenance on reactor plant equipment including;
- electric and steam driven pumps
- motorized, air-operated, and manual valves
- high-pressure air compressors
- hydraulic and pneumatic actuators
Also, don't use useless phrases like, "References available on request". If you are not going to put references on the page, there is no point in calling attention to that fact. Employers already know that you will damned well give them references if they want them. You don't get to choose to withhold that information, so it's pointless to act as though you could. What I'm sayin' is that using that phrase is out-dated and pointless.
Don't get cute with the gimmicks. Use standard fonts, like Times New Roman, on plain paper. The color of the paper should be white or a subdued shade of gray or beige. In the cyber age, nobody takes a resume to be printed professionally anymore. Therefore, proofreading gets overlooked a lot. DO NOT rely on the spell check. It doesn't know too from two, and it doesn't know how to recognize nonsense or bad grammar. Have a human being (preferrably three human beings) proofread your resume.
Using a lot of formatting or graphics will make your resume look like a spilled Scrabble set when you try to submit it electronically. When they can't decode the text, the employer will just delete it. If you are going to use these things, make a second, plane-Jane version for electronic submissions.
Keep your resume up-to-date. This means more than simply adding new information over time. You have to keep it relevant. When you are forty years old, your resume will look stupid if it still contains stuff about your summer job during high school. The fact that you were Employee of the Month at Dairy Queen will not give you a leg up when seeking a management level job at a nuclear power plant.
Most importantly, keep it real, keep it short, and don't try to sound like more than you are. What you have done so far may not seem like a lot when you put it on paper, but anyone who matters will know that it is an impressive set of accomplishments. They already know the value of your training, and appreciate the qualities that it took for you to complete it.