I still have many unanswered questions, but first, I extend a big thank you to those who took their personal time to write detailed e-mails the past few days: so many people willing to help me for no reason. So damn informative, full of creative tips and angles that have probably been passed on from generations of nukes… (I’m on information overload. There are just too many damn acronyms, though) To those whom I haven’t yet called, thank you so much for even providing your contact info. I appreciate the opportunity to speak to guys who have done this. I will call, for sure. As some have pointed out, there is no huge sense of urgency; this navy offer will remain on the table for a minute or two, so I am gathering as much as I can… I view this as a monumental decision.
I am writing most of this simply to put it on paper and to see where I stand with myself. As long as I’m going to take the time to compose it, I might as well address it to this forum where people have already been more than helpful. Maybe someone can help, or at the least find my Hamlet-like indecision comical.
Let me state that while I think I could be career military and possibly be happy, my ultimate goal right now is to return to a sensationally high level of productivity. I do not have money concerns or career frustrations. I am young; I can manage my not too significant debt, and I can afford to be without a lot of things at this point in my life.
I simply want a return to glory, a chance to reach exceptional heights and dreams that looked readily attainable just a few years back. That is, before I self-destructed… so if going through boot camp, receiving extensive training and working hard while away at sea for a few years is what I need to get back on that fast track, then time, dedication and undeservedly low pay is an infinitesimally small price to pay. Not to mention I would be serving my country, that also resonates with me.
In the event I leave the Navy without a degree, outside of the nuclear field, how is the nuke training that is provided in A school, Power school, prototype, etc., viewed in the private sector? Can one get a decent job outside of commercial nuclear power with just that training alone? I ask because the Electrical Engineering degree, in contrast, opens the door to most engineering jobs, as well as jobs from business marketing all the way to retail and sales and everything in between. Is the nuke training similar? I get the feeling that most nukes (without an additional degree) are locked into doing only nuke work. Is that an accurate perception? (Then again, maybe this is not the best place to ask that question, as this is after all NUKEWORKER.com)
For whatever reason, I have an understanding and a deadly intuition when it comes to standardized testing. Over the years, that test-taking aptitude has certainly increased my academic and career opportunities. I am not sure if the implications our society places on those tests are fair or not, as I have many friends that I deem considerably smarter than I am who do not score nearly as well.
Not being eligible to enroll in school since May, I had to find things to do to fill my leisure time. Keep in mind scholastics have been a humongous part of my entire life. Basically for my own curiosity, I registered and took the GRE, GMAT, LSAT, MAT and MCAT. I am not sure, however, if I want to attend graduate/professional school. (After all, I am having serious difficulties with my Bachelor’s degree) Anyway, I studied and prepared pretty intensely for each of them. With the exception of the MCAT (had never seen the Chemistry) I ended up with near perfect scores on all of them. I am talking about scores that hands down, undoubtedly would have me accepted to places like Harvard Law School or the Wharton School of Business. I clearly would need to either start my college career over at a different school or petition the university to have my transcripts “cleaned up” before I could apply to either Harvard or UPenn graduate schools. That is not much of an option at this point. Doing that would be a waste of my time, anyway, and I would just mess up all over again (with higher stakes this time) if I cannot find some way back to that aforementioned level of productivity that I used to possess.
I think I would enjoy and thrive in a structured military routine. If all that is being asked of me is to do the same thing everyone else is doing, I can certainly excel above and beyond most of my peers. I think I would enjoy the long hours as long as I knew everyone else was putting them in too. (No Man is an Island) I have had trouble in the past pushing myself and remaining motivated in unstructured environments.
Avoiding all the nitty-gritty specific details of my life, the technical aspects of any coursework, job responsibilities and future training, without talking about which military programs and benefits can do what for me or mentioning any kind of physical duties or qualifying for watches, etc. Without getting industrial or in-depth in the least bit, and only looking at the overall big picture in layman’s terms, I have full faith that one day my abbreviated biography could read something like this:
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He grew up somewhat privileged in the rich suburbs, stereotypically happy playing video games and football… He traveled the world at a young age and excelled in academics, attended private boarding schools, and earned a scholarship to a land grant university. He made many life long friends and enjoyed some good times, but his attempted studies regrettably fell short of the mark… He found himself at a crossroads in life, and enlisted and served honorably in the US Nuclear Navy; being specifically trained first in Charleston and then in New York. Subsequently a few years later he finally earned, from a respected civilian university, the bachelors degree that had previously eluded him. Uncle Sam paid for it all. He eventually left the Navy honorably at the end of service and used any remaining military benefits to attend The Harvard Law School... He had a successful business career in [insert career here]
After retirement from business, due to his Ivy League background, coupled with military success and community service while working in the business world, he became popular enough and had met all the unofficial prerequisites to run for Senate/Congress, where he would serve for 2-3 terms while raising a family, specifically a son, who would be groomed to do whatever he wanted in life, including run for President of the United States. (if he were so inclined)
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I would be OK with that. With a BS from a top notch engineering school, naval experience/responsibility and a JD from Harvard, I could completely write my own ticket in life. The great thing about this country is that you can do whatever you want if you are willing and able to work for it. It’s the Old American Dream. Now that little story above may not be what I ultimately want. It is a start, though. The military could be great for me. I can see it.
Conspicuously missing is what my actual career would be, because I just do not know what I love. I could do anything I want and be good at it. It’s near impossible to pick something out of thin air and spend years dedicating myself to it if in the back of my mind, I might be happier doing something else.
Common sense dictates that if you aren’t certain, then the best option is to do the thing that keeps the most doors open. Nonetheless, taking the oath and leaving is still definitely in my consideration. If that is what I decide, there will be no DEP for me. Once decided, I will be gone… just like that.
I do have other options available to me.
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I can attempt to put my head to the grindstone and finish my degree by either accepting my year long dismissal or transferring elsewhere. That might make the most sense, but that’s not what is in my heart.
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I can choose to remain out of school for a while, as I contemplate my future plans. I have a class A CDL (Commercial Driver License). I drove trucks regionally one summer back when I was a freshman in college. A good buddy of mine’s grandfather independently owns and operates several semi tractor/trailers. I’m just now old enough that I can hit the open road and do long hauls across state and international lines I have no restrictions keeping me where I am. As long as I drive solo, I can take my girlfriend with me on the road (she is head over heels in love with me and will go wherever I go, no questions asked) and we could basically spend 80 hours a week in the sleeper tractor and have fun in some first class hotels all over the country. I’d make about $1,500 a week (most likely a good portion would be under the table), which is more than enough money to pay my bills while eating at restaurants every night and staying in nice places. I would do this all while traveling the country. As long as I don’t have too many miles and as long as I can make my deliveries on time, there is a good bit of freedom. It would be a good time and a hell of an experience, although it can get absolutely unerringly mind numbing at times. Another thing: gas is expensive, that cuts into profits. I’m certainly not your conventional truck driver: the majority can barely read at an eighth grade level.
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I could maybe get hired on a paid internship or a very low salaried entry-level engineer at an automotive plant, engineering firm or software company. Maybe I could find a startup company and work for pennies, hoping to land a windfall with stock incentives, etc. Despite my poor academic performance recently, I still have a respectable resume with some great accomplishments and a great work history with impeccable references. I have a lot of poise in interviews. I’m not sure how seriously I could get anyone to take me without a complete education, but I might just be able to get hired somewhere great. I’d have to try obviously, and I might have to relocate.
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I could travel to Europe and teach English while supplementing my income working a second job as a waiter or such. There is a big demand for these positions. You basically take a group of children for a few hours a day and speak English to them and nothing else. You do not need to be a teacher, just a native speaker with a good dialect. In return, you get free room and board and a very small stipend, but you also pretty much pickup their language. Then I would be bilingual. I might not be any closer to a career, but perhaps my head would be cleared out, and I would be ready to return to institutionalized education fully refreshed.
Or, maybe this would turn out to be one hell of a career move. As tech jobs become increasingly popular in the Hispanic world, there will be a demand for American-educated engineers/businessmen who can speak Spanish. Who knows?
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What I cannot do is go home to daddy with my tail between my legs and tell him that I f***ed up and p**sed on all the great things that were given to me.
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I clearly do not know what to do. I do know for sure that I am not happy where I am in my life and that I need to make a conscious change before I run out of optimism. I’m being wasted at a steel wire factory for roughly 12$/hour, with no room for any serious advancement. I stay upbeat and I joke around with the workers, but I only get up in the morning because I need to sustain myself; I have no passion for it...
