Girlfriend and school

[WyoNavy]

Alright, after bootcamp, what exactly is the situation with having a girlfriend? How soon is it possible to get an apartment off base and bring someone out there with you, and are there any on-base options for the non married sailor(99% sure there are none, but I figured I'd ask)? As for what I'm getting myself into, I think I know about as much as I'm going to without actually having done it- I'm just looking for the details on this, not relationship advice. Thanks everyone!

[Marlin]

   I heard more than once that my wife was not issued with my seabag. Your girlfreind will not even be on the screen. Sorry to give you such a pessimistic view, but in the Navy's eyes you are a bachelor, as such there are no restrictions but then there will be no help. The only difference between a girlfreind and a wife is the financial aid including living allowances, relocation compensation, and access to base facilities for your spouse/girl freind. There are a number of other threads here that discuss housing and such after bootcamp, I hope you find some of them usefull.

[taterhead]

I think Marlin covered it all, and he is right.

As far as the Navy is concerned, she doesn't exist

You can move out in town after power school.  There is nothing stopping her from moving there on her own and getting a place, but you will receive no special allowances for that.

[Rad Sponge]

 

Well my friend, leave her put. You just won't have the time to put into keeping her happy. Imagine trying to be a good bf and work 70ish hours a week and have to come to work on Sat and Sun on most weekends.

Hell, there are marriages that crack under this pressure.

Get through A and NP school and then by the time you get to prototype you'll have enough feel for the program to actually have somewhat of a life outside school.

You will have time to visit her between schools.

Like I have always opined, your life is nuke power, now.

[LRM]

I think this is more of a judgment call. I have seen this work with friends who moved in with their girlfriends (naturally no assistance from the navy in the housing) they had barracks room but only showed up for inspections.  I have seen several marriages fail in NPS from the stress of a lonely wife being in a new city for the first time and husband at school studying for hours.  Don’t forget most nuke students and their wives/girlfriends are still young and stupid (not to be confused with old and still stupid).
The hours depend on how prepared you are academically.  I only ever put in 70 hours when I had shorted my suggested hour the week before (This will result in mando hours).  60 hours is plenty (if not more than enough) for some (i.e. good math and science abilities with multiple years of calculus, physics and chemistry).  There are people who work these kind of hours all the time.
Others will struggle while putting in every sunlit hour of the day.  I have seen individuals put in 60 and 70 hours of study beyond the 40 hours of class.  This will not facilitate having a life outside of school.
Nonetheless, I still think NPS is a cake walk next to the fleet (not speaking about the academic aspect).  If coming home every night is stressful because of the short hours of off time, just imagine saying goodbye for 4 months without being able to communicate at all.  Navy life (military life) is not easy on relationships; we need to thank military spouse as well as military members for what they do.

That said, if leaving her at home and calling her at night for 9 months seems hard, you are in for worse.  It is only 9 months: save your money.  BTW absence makes the heart grow fonder (sometimes).
Yes, it is very true that the navy does not care that she exists until you marry her.

Lance

[bordway]

It's not too hard...  my girl and I decided before I left that we would give it a try.  That was a year and two months ago and in about 2 more months I plan on asking her to marry me.  It just depends on you guys.  The only way to get her here in A School and Power school is to marry her, you'll get base housing (which aren't bad) or BAH for an apartment.  (About 800 a month).  You'll see students get married here (often to other students) a lot just for that reason, it's rediculous.  It's their future tho.  You just have to be strong.  My girl and I talk pretty much everyday, it is what you make it.  We have our fun conversations, we have our nothing conversations and occasionally a bad conversation due to the crappy recpetion on base or often because we miss eachother.  We got used to it and we're doing awesome a year later.  Hard to believe I'm so in love with her and have only seen her 5 times in the last year.  It's so worth it though.  good luck!