Good Evening, I’m John Snowman and this… is America’s Least Wanted. Tonight, we need your help in finding a nuclear blogger that goes by the name of…El Duke’. He’s the ringleader of a gang of former DOE subcontractors earning $100K/year that made union scale wages plus per diem during the Stimulus years, only to later post negative, spiteful writings on the Internet about the union and their former places of employment. These are bad people, America.
El Duke’ himself is wanted for questioning in connection with the rambling posts he has made on several nuclear web sites and we need your help in getting this guy off the internet…and fast. Authorities say he can be easily identified by atrocious spelling, poor grammar, massive run-on sentencing, and perhaps the worst… the heinous use of dangling participles. Law enforcement officials state to use extreme caution while reading his writings, they’re that dangerous.
El Duke’ avoids staying in sleazy motels, instead preferring to travel the USA in a start of the art RV, or flying in private jets to nuclear facilities around the country where he has luxury rental cars waiting for him. Authorities believe he’s headed to a 14 day outage, give or take a day, somewhere east of the Mississippi. He will then disappear until the fall where he will re-surface to work another 14 day outage, give or take a day. He’s gonna be one tough cookie to find.
But if you know the whereabouts of one El Duke’, please call our Crime Stoppers hotline tonight and let’s get this disgruntled guy off cyberspace before he posts more bad stuff about the former places he has worked. America, let’s catch this guy.