Officer vs Enlisted (school)

[InLuvWithRecruit]

Another success story! I love it! I get happy chill bumps.

NukeLDO,
You nailed it on the head. Those are special life events you can never get back. That is going to be hard to handle. At this point, it's beyond my understanding of how to deal and cope. I'm sure your wife is one tough cookie. One day, I hope to have the secret to navy life. Thanks for your story!

Sincerely,
Amy

[Fermi2]

Amy,

My wife was a 20 year old away from home for the first time. 22 years later we're still happily married. She had it extra tough as I was severely injured during my last couple years in the Navy. She survived 3 Years as a Navy Nuke wife and 19 years as a commercial nuke wife. We live up in Chattanooga, if you need anything just ask!

Mike

[InLuvWithRecruit]

FYI...you will need the recruiter to get you a copy of any contract...once you go to DC for the interview, you are committed if the Admiral selects you.

Cheers,
GC

Beautiful family pic! Congrats on the healthy marriage, I can only hope to be so blessed.

I did not know he was was committed once he took the DC trip. I guess it makes sense, seeing how the VIP trip is to rule out any questions. Maybe I'm being overzealous, wanting to pre-read the contract. It's such a huge decision....  Thanks for the info.

I'm just going to throw this out there.... Poke fun please. I've watched too many movies. But SURELY one can NOT smoke on a sub???

[DDMurray]

NaVLI4,
That was a breath of fresh air! I love reading marriage success stories. Congrats to you and your wife. I can only assume it's the ultimate test of dedication and trust. And oh, how I would love to pick your wife's brain It's my fear of the all the unknowns that fuel my doubts. Am I going to adjust to the lifestyle? Will I be able to deal with the time apart? Questions of that nature. Don't get me wrong, Ryan's safety is of my utmost concern. Aside from that, I have issues regarding my role as a Navy wife. I've told Ryan that I would commit 100% at this point, but when it comes time (5 years?) to re-sign we need to reassess everything. Collectively, him AND I will decide to re-sign or not. And one thing is for sure, NO kids will be had untill we've got school and his first tour out of the way. I'm hoping my own career as a nurse will keep me busy. How often did you and your wife have to move? Do you have any kids? Were you able to seperate work from your home-life? How was yours (and hers) stress level? I could go on for hours.... (maybe i'll try the PM?)

I've read quotes on here like (and I'm paraphrasing) 'last time I checked spouses weren't issued with your sea bag' and 'girlfriends are like the gook you wipe out of your eyes in the morning.' I try not to let those quotes discourage my thoughts on becoming an officer's wife. Although, the other morning when I was rubbing my eyes.... Haha I digress.

Not sure what you meant by 'If the sub has a surface to dive ratio of less than one, then all the wives get paid...if you know what I mean.' Some of the jokes on here fly right over my head.

Thanks again, for getting personal on here. As a female, that's mostly what I take away from this forum.  

I'll repeat my other question. Can I review the contract before Ryan's signs it???

Not sure why you want to read the contract.  My wife and I got married just prior to reporting to nuke school.  She was 19 and had never been away from home.  When I reported to my first boat, I left for two and half months a week after arriving in Charleston (Back when they had a base).  I missed one of two births.  I reported to a boat in Hawaii.  A week later I left for five months.  I just retired in December.  We celebrate our 25th anniversary this October.  I recommend you don't dwell on being a "Navy" wife.  I'm enlisted, but some of the worst "Navy" wives I encountered were ones concerned with their husband's and the other wives' husbands rank.  If you can't trust your husband to sign a contract to become an officer, what other things don't you think he's capable of doing?  Good Luck!

DM

[InLuvWithRecruit]

DM,
Your input is noted. With all respect, I'm not 19 and I have been away from home. I have a respected career of my own, as a home health nurse for 5 years. I love my job and love being close to my family and have a great circle of friends. However, my fiance (not husband yet) has (almost) chosen a career that will completely change our lives. He's a smart man. I trust his judgement. He has complete control of this decision. Keep in mind, this is not the life I would choose for myself. I love him enough to support and stand by this life changing decision. I am certainly not concerned about rank or whatnot. I only emphasize 'officer' b/c I've read and been discouraged by some of the enlisted posts. I also emphasize 'navy' wife b/c it will be very different than a 'civilian' wife. On a better note, congrats to you and your wife for making it 25 years. That is a wonderful accomplishment in the navy or civilian world.
Sincerely,
Amy

[NukeLDO]

I'm just going to throw this out there.... Poke fun please. I've watched too many movies. But SURELY one can NOT smoke on a sub???

Unfortunately, yes you can...designated smoking areas.  Haven't run across a totally smoke-free boat yet...but Im sure someone will correct me if I'm wrong about that.  The Coast Guard has some ships that are smoke free.

[NukeLDO]

Not sure what you meant by 'If the sub has a surface to dive ratio of less than one, then all the wives get paid...if you know what I mean.' Some of the jokes on here fly right over my head.

Oh, and it means that hopefully, what goes down (sinks on purpose), comes back up (surfaces).

[NukeNTO]

Amy,

If you'd like to see the contract that your hubby will sign send me a PM and I'll send you a copy of all the docs.  I escort guys/gals to interview pretty regularly so I'm very familiar with them.  They're pretty straight forward.  Just understand that he's committing to a total of eight years, five of which are active duty with the balance being IRR.  He'll sign a DD4 and a NUPOC service agreement I can get you blank copies of both of these.

[G-reg]

I would not worry overmuch about his contract.  There are certainly some significant things that are in every Navy Nuke's contract (such as guaranteed schools, the military's drug policies, etc.), but the contract really won't tell you very much about his future life in the military.

You won't find anything in his contract which sets his working hours or underway/inport ratio - these things will depend on what the Navy needs from him & everyone else in the service to keep our country free and safe.  There won't be anything in his contract which tells you which ship/submarine (or even which homeport) he will be going to after he completes school - it could be a ship on its way into drydock where it will sit for 15 months, or it could be a ship that's headed overseas for the next six months on deployment.  Your fiance will be allow to provide input on where he would like to be stationed, and the Navy will give consideration to his input, but ultimately the Navy gets the lion's share of the vote regarding where they send him - based on where the Navy's needs lie at the time.

Unfortunately, the truth is that your fiance will spend a lot of time at work (especially until he gets done with school and his first sea-going tour).  I'm pretty far from qualified to hand out advice on personal relationships, but there are two things which fall outside of your relationship with your fiance that will contribute greatly to the success of your relationship:
#1 - Have a solid support group, wherever you go.  Support can almost always be found with some of the other good Navy wives in the area.  Having family that you can call or visit whenever needed (and they may be needed frequently) is another tremendous plus.
#2 - Regardless of where you get stationed, have an active life when your fiance/husband is at work or out to sea.  Your career as a nurse should be able to fill this bill rather perfectly, I would think.  Otherwise, volunteering and earnestly pursuing hobbies are good ways to keep the dead time from stacking up and dragging out.

As hard as it can be - as hard as it will be at times - there are many Navy marriage success stories.  From what I saw over my own years of service, most of the successful ones had the two attributes above in common (in addition to starting out with a solid, well-founded relationship).

I wish you both the very best!

[DDMurray]

DM,
Your input is noted.

Definitely an officer wife.  I'm sorry if I came across derogatory or condescending.  I was trying to give you another example of a success along with some of the crap my wife endured.  I must say that I've known lots of young navy wives and fiances.  You are the first to want to review the contract.  I think I understand why.  Congratulations on your personal success.  G-reg's advice is spot on.

Derek

[InLuvWithRecruit]

I'm pretty far from qualified to hand out advice on personal relationships, but there are two things which fall outside of your relationship with your fiance that will contribute greatly to the success of your relationship:
#1 - Have a solid support group, wherever you go.  Support can almost always be found with some of the other good Navy wives in the area.  Having family that you can call or visit whenever needed (and they may be needed frequently) is another tremendous plus.
#2 - Regardless of where you get stationed, have an active life when your fiance/husband is at work or out to sea.  Your career as a nurse should be able to fill this bill rather perfectly, I would think.  Otherwise, volunteering and earnestly pursuing hobbies are good ways to keep the dead time from stacking up and dragging out.

G-reg,

I'd say you are qualified That is excellent advice. Thanks for taking the time.

As for the contract, (this is going to sound horrible), I am not married to Ryan yet. I would like to know what he is signing up for. I/we still have options.  And yes, I would like to read the fine print. I realize, I will still be left with many unknown variables. I'm trying to prepare myself. I am somewhat of a freespirit and love my carefree and fun life. This is so far from where I pictured our life going.... I digress.

We plan to get with Ryan's recruiter regarding the contract.

Definitely an officer wife.  I'm sorry if I came across derogatory or condescending.  I was trying to give you another example of a success along with some of the crap my wife endured.  I must say that I've known lots of young navy wives and fiances.  You are the first to want to review the contract.  I think I understand why.  Congratulations on your personal success.  G-reg's advice is spot on.

Derek

DM,
Thanks for all your posts regarding my situation. You too have been helpful. I still want to read the contract though, haha.

Sincerely,
Amy

[NukeNTO]

Amy,
You've got mail.

[InLuvWithRecruit]

If anyone was wondering, I got my hands on the contracts. Ryan and I read them thouroughly. I, not surprisingly, feel even more educated in regards to his potential Navy career. NukeNTO, thanks again! I will say, some of the wording was quite unsettling. In one clause, in about 15 words or less, pretty much says after he serves his active and inactive duty he still may NOT be up for discharge. I've heard that stop loss can be a booger. I'm trying not to get too hung up on that though. Other interesting things regarding NUPOC, he must maintain a 'C' average. Failing a class is not an option. A little added pressure, but he's ready and willing. Sounds like he'll be active duty while finishing his ME degree. Would it be possible for the Navy to call him up and expect him to report somewhere? I mean, he hasn't been through boot camp or anything.  Also, the were no parameters listed about what would disqualify his physically for an officer, yet still qualify his as enlisted. Under what circumstances? Thanks to the contracts, we now have a new list of questions to take to his VIP trip. I say we, but as you all know, I can't go. Hmmm I can only imagine the uproar about bringing a girlfriend/fiance to ask questions on a recruiting trip. That's funny...riiiiiiight?

[Gamecock]

If anyone was wondering, I got my hands on the contracts. Ryan and I read them thouroughly. I, not surprisingly, feel even more educated in regards to his potential Navy career. NukeNTO, thanks again! I will say, some of the wording was quite unsettling. In one clause, in about 15 words or less, pretty much says after he serves his active and inactive duty he still may NOT be up for discharge. I've heard that stop loss can be a booger. I'm trying not to get too hung up on that though. Other interesting things regarding NUPOC, he must maintain a 'C' average. Failing a class is not an option. A little added pressure, but he's ready and willing. Sounds like he'll be active duty while finishing his ME degree. Would it be possible for the Navy to call him up and expect him to report somewhere? I mean, he hasn't been through boot camp or anything.  Also, the were no parameters listed about what would disqualify his physically for an officer, yet still qualify his as enlisted. Under what circumstances? Thanks to the contacts, we now have a new list of questions to take to his VIP trip. I say we, but as you all know, I can't go. Hmmm I can only imagine the uproar about bringing a girlfriend/fiance to ask questions on a recruiting trip. That's funny...riiiiiiight?

1.  Navy does not do Stop-Loss....that is an Army thing
2.  If your fiance gets into NUPOC, graduates from college, but is found unfit for commissioning as an Unrestricted Line Officer, then he will either be commissioned in a restricted line community or be completely unfit for any duty.  I can think of no circumstances where he would be forced to go enlisted if he upholds his end of the NUPOC contract.
3.  He will not be "Called up" to do anything other then take the Physical Readiness Test while he is a NUPOC.

[InLuvWithRecruit]

1.  Navy does not do Stop-Loss....that is an Army thing
2.  If your fiance gets into NUPOC, graduates from college, but is found unfit for commissioning as an Unrestricted Line Officer, then he will either be commissioned in a restricted line community or be completely unfit for any duty.  I can think of no circumstances where he would be forced to go enlisted if he upholds his end of the NUPOC contract.

That's good to know. The stop loss reference was made in the general contract.

[Gamecock]

That's good to know. The stop loss reference was made in the general contract.

We are talking semantics here.  The contract says the Navy can Stop-loss.  I'm here to tell you that I have never seen or heard of it happening to anyone in the navy in my 19 years of service.  I have heard of retirement requests being turned down temporarily (because right now we are critically undermanned at the senior officer level in some communities), but you guys have 20+ years before you need to worry about that.

Cheers,
GC

[NukeNTO]

Yeah, like everyone has said stop-loss hasn't been an issue in the Navy and I certainly wouldn't expect it to become one.  Regarding the "C" thing in the service agreement.  The intent is that we're now paying him to go to school, so at least in theory he should be able to do as well or better than before we were paying him.  What we're really concerned with is that he doesn't get any D's or F's.  He's generally not going to get kicked out for one or two bad grades (even F's) but if it starts to look like a trend then it's a possibility. 

[NUKECOMER101]

I have not had time to get on here lately because of school. However, I see my Lady has been quite the busy bee with questions. I am beginning to feel that all of our questions have been answered. All of your responses have helped us both in feeling confident in this decision, and we have made some good contacts in the process. I am extremely excited about this program. When this semester finishes up, I am going to hit the NUPOC study guide hard. I don't want anything holding me back from getting in. I feel like this is a huge opportunity that I cant pass up. Amy may not admit it but I think she is beginning to get excited too  .  All the happy stories with marriages making it through the Navy is good to hear as well. Again, we can not thank you guys enough for the input and stories.

Ryan