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Offline JPun2321

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Hello, my fiancé is about 13 weeks pregnant. We weren’t planning on it. Finished boot camp about a week ago and she sprung the news on me on graduation. My question is how likely am I to make it through this program with a kid due for sometime in January? I’m an mm. What happens if you fail any portion of the schooling? Do you actually go pact or do you get to pick from a small selection based on the needs of the navy? I’m 22 and I’m going to do whatever needs to be done for my kid but I just need a real response or advice on this. Thanks

Offline TVA

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Did you ask a Navy supervisor?

Offline scotoma

It's been a while since I was in. Your Navy benefits are different being single and you won't have access to the married, family benefits. You didn't say where your home is, A school location, or what Navy program you've chosen, so I have have no way of knowing what your chances are. You should be close to done with A school before fatherhood. Talk to some Navy veterans for advice, maybe you can start with the local recruiter while you are on leave. It is my experience hat they like the attention and opportunity to help their shipmates.

Offline MMM

My question is how likely am I to make it through this program with a kid due for sometime in January?
It depends on how much effort you put in. As scotoma said, you should be finishing up A School by then, you might be starting power school or you might be on hold.

What happens if you fail any portion of the schooling?
If you fail a test, it's not the end of the world, you will get lots of additional "help" and mandatory study time. If you fail any of the final milestones, you might get a retest or an academic board, which will determine if you stay in the program.

Do you actually go pact or do you get to pick from a small selection based on the needs of the navy?
What is "pact"? If you graduate A school, you're an MM, so if you fail out after that, you go to the fleet as a non-nuke MM3. If you fail A school, I'm not sure, I think you go to the fleet as an undesignated FN.

I suggest you take TVAs advice and ask one of your supervisors.

Offline GLW

just a question,....

was there a pregnant fiancee issued to you in your sea bag?!?!?!?!

because I've been out of the Navy a very long time, and that's all the intra-Navy support I remember for such a predicament,...

been there, dun that,... the doormat to hell does not read "welcome", the doormat to hell reads "it's just business"

Offline shehane

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I was in prototype when my second kid was born.  I had already qualified and was waiting for my date to ship out to Charleston.  I was actually held over for a couple of weeks and got a whole day off when she was born.  I was lucky.  The statement I heard the most was as GLW stated, "we didn't issue you a family, its not our responsibility". 
I may not have gone where I intended to go, but I think I have ended up where I needed to be! Dirk Gently

Offline nowhereman

I see you are asking about finishing school and what happens. Have you considered another aspect of the equation? When your son/daughter comes out(they don't stay in there forever), you will need to be married or sign full custody over to your fiance, or your parents and you will need a family care plan. You will not be very deployable if you have custody of your child.  []So you said fiance, so marriage was thought out, just maybe a little quicker than you thought.

You just need to have a legal marriage license for the state you are in, maybe the command will want you two to talk to the base chaplain, but you don't need permission to get married, unless you are marrying a foreign national.
Marriage will get you benefits you need for your growing family.
So, two consenting adults, doing adult 'things' do have actual adult consequences.
 
« Last Edit: Jul 11, 2019, 08:10 by nowhereman »

Offline GLW


..... and you will need a family care plan.....
 

is this a contemporary Navy requirement?!?!?!


..........So, two consenting adults, doing adult 'things' do have actual adult consequences.
 

so, as snarky as "was not issued in your sea bag" may sound to the snowflake generation "adult consequences" was the whole point of the snark,....

the military exists to break things and kill people,...

the military needs persons to accomplish that mission, not families,....

the military is not a family unit,....

families do not easily, and at the whim of some political motivation, sends their dearest and most loved to go kill or be killed,...

so, our most common military branch on these boards is the USN,...

and I found the USN to be most non-conducive to my family,....

some do,....

I was not lucky that way,...

but, not having a family in the Navy is an adolescent on steroids existence,....

eat here, sleep there, work where and when we tell you, take a vacation when you can and enjoy the hell out of it,...

having a family in the Navy is an adult on steroids existence,...

that's why the Navy does not issue families,...

families get in the way of killing other people,...


for the OP this is all too late except the caution about "adult consequences on steroids",...


and maybe excepting that the OP might get lucky,...
« Last Edit: Jul 12, 2019, 06:40 by GLW »

been there, dun that,... the doormat to hell does not read "welcome", the doormat to hell reads "it's just business"

Offline nowhereman

I'll have to say if you are looking for answers that are current, just follow TVA's advice, just talk to your commands Master Chief.  Cuz, all the information  here is reflections of how it was back in the 1970' s  or 1980's, maybe even from the 90's.
So, alas poor Yorick seems in order...

One common concept remains though. Academic ability paired with your willingness to put in the effort will determine your fate.

There are enough reddit posts, Y/Answers post and threads on here to supply plenty of insight.
Oh by the way, 2009/2010? was the time frame the military  started formalizing a plan for single parents.

Offline GLW


.....Oh by the way, 2009/2010? was the time frame the military  started formalizing a plan for single parents.


that's what I was looking for,...

AISI,...

albeit back in the day we were given a lot of snarky commentary and not a whole lot of guidance BUT!!!!,...

we were allowed to manage our lives as adults,....

to wit:

between nuke school and prototype I had about 28 days of leave, plus proceed time and travel time, so essentially I had about 40 days of no muster, no phone calls, no anything to do with the Navy at all,....

just show up in the right place, on the right day, at the right time,...

no cell phone check ins with nobody,...

no GPS,....

you know,...like an adult,....

I will caveat that there were individuals who crashed and burned without daily guidance,...

but for those of us able to handle our own lives; well nobody cared what your "plan" was as long as it did not deter from your duty,...

I'd be miffed in today's Navy,...

if I am old enough to make a baby, well then I'm old enough to tend to it's needs without anybody holding my hand,...

and I insist on being respected to that standard,...

been there, dun that,... the doormat to hell does not read "welcome", the doormat to hell reads "it's just business"

Offline gb54123

I was just stationed at NNPTC and I ran into this situation often enough.

The first thing that I would tell you is that marriage and a kid are going to be two huge distractions to your academic obligations. The training pipeline isn't impossibly hard, but it is very challenging for the majority of people who go through it. Having a brand new wife with no family support and a child on the way is going to negatively impact your academics - no matter how smart or gifted you are.

Your SLPO is going to direct you to all of the resources that you'll need. There is Fleet and Family, Navy and Marine Core Relief Society and a Navy Club that does baby orientation stuff in Charleston. I'd stay on base housing, even though it can be shitty, because that will give you more time to be at home and to study.

If you fail out in A-school, you'll drop back to E-1 (unless it is protected in your contract) and you'll get a limited selection of jobs to pick from. If you have disciplinary problems, you might get sent home. If you fail out after A-school, you'll become a conventional mechanic.

My brutally honest recommendation is to consider not having your fiance coming to Charleston at all. I don't know about your situation (and I don't care to know), but if you got engaged because you knocked her up then doubling down may be a profoundly poor choice. Maybe having her family around to give her help is going to be better than the sporadic support you'll be able to give, especially if you struggle with academic/military standards.

Offline shehane

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My brutally honest recommendation is to consider not having your fiance coming to Charleston at all. I don't know about your situation (and I don't care to know), but if you got engaged because you knocked her up then doubling down may be a profoundly poor choice. Maybe having her family around to give her help is going to be better than the sporadic support you'll be able to give, especially if you struggle with academic/military standards.



Great input gb54123! 
« Last Edit: Jul 15, 2019, 01:48 by shehane »
I may not have gone where I intended to go, but I think I have ended up where I needed to be! Dirk Gently

 


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