Talking Dog

[Mike McFarlin]

 

A GUY IS DRIVING AROUND THE BACK WOODS OF TENNESSEE AND HE SEES A SIGN IN FRONT OF A BROKEN DOWN SHANTY-STYLE HOUSE:  "TALKING DOG FOR SALE..."  THE GUY GOES INTO THE BACKYARD AND SEES A NICE LOOKING LABRADOR RETRIEVER SITTING THERE.

"YOU TALK?" HE ASKS.

"YEP," THE LAB REPLIES.

AFTER THE GUY RECOVERS FROM THE SHOCK OF HEARING A DOG TALK, HE SAYS, "SO , WHAT'S YOUR STORY?"

THE LAB LOOKS UP AND SAYS, "WELL, I DISCOVERED THAT I COULD TALK WHEN I WAS PRETTY YOUNG.  I WANTED TO HELP THE GOVERNMENT, SO I TOLD THE CIA AND THEY HAD ME SWORN INTO THE TOUGHEST BRANCH OF THE ARMED SERVICES...THE UNITED STATES MARINES.  YOU KNOW ONE OF THEIR NICKNAMES IS "THE DEVIL DOGS?"

IN NO TIME AT ALL THEY HAD ME JETTING FROM COUNTRY TO COUNTRY, SITTING IN ROOMS WITH SPIES AND WORLD LEADERS; BECAUSE NO ONE FIGURED A DOG WOULD BE EAVESDROPPING.  I WAS ONE OF THEIR MOST VALUABLE SPIES FOR EIGHT YEARS RUNNING, BUT THE JETTING AROUND REALLY TIRED ME OUT AND I KNEW I WASN'T GETTING ANY YOUNGER.  SO, I DECIDED TO SETTLE DOWN.  I RETIRED FROM THE CORPS (8 DOG YEARS IS 44 CORPS YEARS), RECEIVED A BUNCH OF MEDALS, AND SIGNED UP FOR A JOB AT THE AIRPORT TO DO SOME UNDERCOVER SECURITY, WANDERING NEAR SUSPICIOUS CHARACTERS AND LISTENING IN.  I UNCOVERED SOME INCREDIBLE DEALINGS AND WAS AWARDED ANOTHER BATCH OF HERO MEDALS.  I GOT MARRIED, HAD A MESS OF PUPPIES, AND NOW I'M JUST RETIRED."

THE GUY IS AMAZED.  HE GOES BACK IN AND ASKS THE OWNER WHAT HE WANTS FOR THE DOG.

"TEN DOLLARS," THE GUY SAYS. "TEN DOLLARS?  THIS DOG IS AMAZING!  WHY ON EARTH ARE YOU SELLING HIM SO CHEAP?"

"BECAUSE HE'S A LIAR.  HE NEVER DID ANY OF THAT STUFF, HE WAS IN THE AIR FORCE!"

[PWHoppe]

  ROFLMAO Funniest thing I've seen in a long time, K to ya!