Exodus to Canada

[Marlin]

 Exodus to Canada --- (from The Manitoba Herald)

  The flood of American liberals sneaking across the border into Canada has
  intensified in the past week, sparking calls for increased patrols to stop
  the illegal immigration.  The actions of President Bush are prompting the
  exodus among left-leaning citizens who fear they'll soon be required to
  hunt, pray, and agree with Bill O'Reilly.

  Canadian border farmers say it's not uncommon to see dozens of sociology
  professors, animal-rights activists and Unitarians crossing their fields at
  night.

  "I went out to milk the cows the other day, and there was a Hollywood
  producer huddled in the barn," said Manitoba farmer Red Greenfield, whose
  acreage borders North Dakota.  The producer was cold, exhausted and hungry.
  He asked me if I could spare a latte and some free-range chicken. When I
  said I didn't have any, he left.  Didn't even get a chance to show him my
  screenplay, eh?"

  In an effort to stop the illegal aliens, Greenfield erected higher fences,
  but the liberals scaled them.  So he tried installing speakers that blare
  Rush Limbaugh across the fields.  "Not real effective," he said.  "The
  liberals still got through, and Rush annoyed the cows so much they wouldn't
  give any milk."

  Officials are particularly concerned about smugglers who meet liberals near
  the Canadian border, pack them into Volvo station wagons, drive them across
  the border and leave them to fend for themselves.

  "A lot of these people are not prepared for rugged conditions," an Ontario
  border patrolman said.  "I found one carload without a drop of drinking
  water.  They did have a nice little Napa Valley cabernet, though."

  When liberals are caught, they're sent back across the border, often wailing
  loudly that they fear retribution from conservatives.  Rumors have been
  circulating about the Bush administration establishing re-education camps in
  which liberals will be forced to drink domestic beer and watch NASCAR races.

  In recent days, liberals have turned to sometimes-ingenious ways of crossing
  the border.  Some have taken to posing as senior citizens on bus trips to
  buy cheap Canadian prescription drugs.  After catching a half-dozen young
  vegans disguised in powdered wigs, Canadian immigration authorities began
  stopping buses and quizzing the supposed senior-citizen passengers on Perry
  Como and Rosemary Clooney hits to prove they were alive in the '50s.

  "If they can't identify the accordion player on The Lawrence Welk Show, we
  get suspicious about their age," an official said.

  Canadian citizens have complained that the illegal immigrants are creating
  an organic-broccoli shortage and renting all the good Susan Sarandon movies.
  "I feel sorry for American liberals, but the Canadian economy just can't
  support them," an Ottawa resident said.  "How many art-history majors does
  one country need?"

[illegalsmile]

now dat der's funny der,  eh !!!!!