Creative Puns For Educated Minds

[Marlin]

1.  The roundest knight at King Arthur 's round table was Sir Cumference . He acquired his size from too much pi.

2.  I  thought I saw an eye doctor on an Alaskan island, but it turned out to be an optical Aleutian .

3.  She was only a moonshiner's maker's daughter, but, oh, he loved her still.

4.  A  rubber-band pistol was confiscated from algebra class because it was a weapon  of math disruption.

5.  The butcher backed into the meat grinder and got a little behind in his work.

6.  No matter how much you push the envelope, it'll still be stationery.

7.  A dog gave birth to puppies near the road and was cited for littering.

8.  A  grenade thrown into a kitchen in France would result in Linoleum Blownapart.

9.  Two silk worms had a race. They ended up in a tie.

10.  Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.

11.  A hole has been found in the nudist camp wall. The police are looking into it.

12.  Atheism is a non-prophet organization.

13.  Two hats were hanging on a hat rack in the hallway. One hat said to the other,  'You stay here; I'll go on a head.'

14.  I wondered why the baseball kept getting bigger. Then it hit me.

15.  A sign on the lawn at a drug rehab center said: "Keep off the Grass."

16.  A small boy swallowed some coins and was taken to a hospital.  When his grandmother telephoned to ask how he was, a nurse said, "No change yet."

17. A chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion.

18.  The short fortune-teller who escaped from prison was a small medium at large.

19.  The man who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now a seasoned veteran.

20. A backward poet writes inverse.

21.  In democracy it's your vote that counts. In feudalism it's your count that votes.

22.  When cannibals ate a missionary, they finally got a taste of religion