How You Can Tell It's Going To Be A Rotten Day
*You wake up face down on the pavement
*You put on your bra backwards and it fits better
*You call Suicide Prevention, and they put you on hold
*Your boss tells you not to bother to take off your coat
*Your income tax check bounces
*Your blind date turns out to be your ex-wife
*You wake up and discover your braces are locked together
*Your car horn gets stuck on as you follow a group of Hell's Angels down the freeway.
*You call your answering service and they tell you it's none of your business
*The bird singing outside your window is a buzzard