Getting Married Close to RTC Ship Date

[DoorMatt]

I'm a future Nuke who ships out in about 6 weeks, but recently my fiance and I had a discussion about what I was going to do about us getting married. I came to the decision that I had to do it now rather than later because I've been pushing it back for almost a year now. How badly would this affect me in terms of my ship date and even staying in the DEP? I have also heard that there is a pre-entry financial planning session that has to happen before I ship if we do get married. Would that take a long time to complete? From the info I gathered as well, married future sailors don't require a waiver as long as it's only me and my wife.

(I tried to search around for a couple days on my particular situation before finally deciding to dredge up this common theme)

[andrewnavy]

Boot camp is not that long, you could just do it after.  If you have been pushing it back for a year then there is probably a reason.  Figure that out and then the answer will probably clear up for you.

Sorry, not to sure on the ship dates but it is easy to get her added on to the system after you are already in the navy.
Good luck.

[DDMurray]

My son got married in December and shipped out this past Wednesday.  His wife is staying with us during Boot Camp.  She has found a wealth of information on http://www.navyformoms.com/.  I recommend you check it out.

[NuclearWaste]

My brother and his wife got married just before shipping out actually, but I'm not sure if it effected anything.  He still shipped out on his designated ship date, but now he was married? Just a personal experience, don't take any of the information to heart, I know nothing of the specifics but if you truly want to know, talk to your recruiter.

[playswithairplanes]

You would need to notify your recruiter of any changes in status, including dependents. This quite possibly could delay your ship date. Depending on if she has dependents it could also make you ineligible for enlistment. For example, she already has 3 kids, then you pick up 4 dependents, Navy doesn't like that. Any more than 2 requires a waiver, ISTR.

Seriously, boot isn't that long. Just wait. Heck, even waiting until after A-school isn't going to kill you. It's less than a year. Also, between you me and the 200K other guys that read this board... wait. If she isn't fond of you being away for just 2 months at Boot... well she REALLY won't like it when you are deployed for 6+ months in far away seas with no contact. Navy life is full of separations. Best she learn that now, and sees if she can hack it. Many women can't. Better to know that now when it's less financially and emotionally damaging. Just some advice from someone whose been there, done that and wishes he didn't have the tee shirt.

[shocker]

You would need to notify your recruiter of any changes in status, including dependents. This quite possibly could delay your ship date. Depending on if she has dependents it could also make you ineligible for enlistment. For example, she already has 3 kids, then you pick up 4 dependents, Navy doesn't like that. Any more than 2 requires a waiver, ISTR.

Seriously, boot isn't that long. Just wait. Heck, even waiting until after A-school isn't going to kill you. It's less than a year. Also, between you me and the 200K other guys that read this board... wait. If she isn't fond of you being away for just 2 months at Boot... well she REALLY won't like it when you are deployed for 6+ months in far away seas with no contact. Navy life is full of separations. Best she learn that now, and sees if she can hack it. Many women can't. Better to know that now when it's less financially and emotionally damaging. Just some advice from someone whose been there, done that and wishes he didn't have the tee shirt.

Or when you "live together" during the pipeline and you still dont see each other much during the week.  Or when she has trouble finding a job when you get to A-school.  Or when you realize that E-3 pay isn't all that much to support two on - "free" housing or not.  Or when you come out of bootcamp a different person and perhaps change your feelings for her.

Theres going to be massive amounts of change in your life in the next few months.  And for you it's going to fly by.  But do you really want to spend your newly-wed period showering with 70 other guys?

[drayer54]

Theres going to be massive amounts of change in your life in the next few months.  And for you it's going to fly by.  But do you really want to spend your newly-wed period showering with 70 other guys?
[/quote]

When I think honeymoon, I think showering with 70 other dudes or is it deployment that makes me think of showering with dudes?.....  Either way it sounds so much better than our trip to Cabo....  WAIT! NOT NOW! DON'T DO IT! Go later,
thats just my 2 pennies....

[HydroDave63]

When I think honeymoon, I think showering with 70 other dudes

Please Ask, Do Tell!^TM ?? 

[MacGyver]

You would need to notify your recruiter of any changes in status, including dependents. This quite possibly could delay your ship date. Depending on if she has dependents it could also make you ineligible for enlistment. For example, she already has 3 kids, then you pick up 4 dependents, Navy doesn't like that. Any more than 2 requires a waiver, ISTR.

Seriously, boot isn't that long. Just wait. Heck, even waiting until after A-school isn't going to kill you. It's less than a year. Also, between you me and the 200K other guys that read this board... wait. If she isn't fond of you being away for just 2 months at Boot... well she REALLY won't like it when you are deployed for 6+ months in far away seas with no contact. Navy life is full of separations. Best she learn that now, and sees if she can hack it. Many women can't. Better to know that now when it's less financially and emotionally damaging. Just some advice from someone whose been there, done that and wishes he didn't have the tee shirt.

Spot on advice

[tselby]

My 2 cents ~

I did not get married prior to boot camp, nor in A school, i did however get married smack in the middle of nuke school (when it was in Orlando)....... Looking back now i do not regret getting married, but the timing was off, I WISH I WOULD HAVE WAITED! I also had kids very young. By the time I graduated prototype I had my first child, before I even made it to my first submarine. Looking back the Wise decision would have been to wait, as the advice has already been stated, there will be a lot going on, real fast. Plus the right person is always worth the wait, and if they are the right person they will understand the need to wait.

BTW I'm still married to the same women celebrating 25yrs this summer and have 4 kids. One benefit of havign kids early is by the time you are in your mid 40's they are grown and out on their own...

I simply state the above because if you do decide not to wait this is one example to show you that you can make it no matter the odds 

[Marlin]

My 2 cents ~

I did not get married prior to boot camp, nor in A school, i did however get married smack in the middle of nuke school (when it was in Orlando)....... Looking back now i do not regret getting married, but the timing was off, I WISH I WOULD HAVE WAITED! I also had kids very young. By the time I graduated prototype I had my first child, before I even made it to my first submarine. Looking back the Wise decision would have been to wait, as the advice has already been stated, there will be a lot going on, real fast. Plus the right person is always worth the wait, and if they are the right person they will understand the need to wait.

BTW I'm still married to the same women celebrating 25yrs this summer and have 4 kids. One benefit of havign kids early is by the time you are in your mid 40's they are grown and out on their own...

I simply state the above because if you do decide not to wait this is one example to show you that you can make it no matter the odds 

My situation was the same (except I have been married to my second wife for thirty years), I agree I should have waited.

[HydroDave63]

Of course sailors and love have always been an angst ridden composition, just ask this girl, she did manage to make a pretty dime off of it though;

Notice she's got a Yeoman rating insignia on the outfit, thus confirming our stereotypes of topsiders, coners etc

At least it isn't "South Pacific"   

[drayer54]

Please Ask, Do Tell!^TM ??  

When I left the fleet, I never got the impression that this policy was preventing anything that the homophobes were afraid of anyways (we had several serving openly and
nobody seemed to care)...
I am anxiously standing by though for the new DOD policies on this issue and "Gay Training". Leave it to the nukes to make whatever poor soul has to give this training
feel incredibly awkward. I have had months now to brainstorm questions that would have a rx department laughing and a topsider running to the door.
*Yes, it is off topic, but it is a reply