How to talk enlistment to Mom?

[spekkio]

There's a lot of chest-beating to just ignore a parent's advice. Were you all really brought up to discard the wisdom of your parents this easily?

OPs mom probably has some legitimate concerns about her son joining the military. Those concerns might be because she doesn't know what service in the nuclear Navy entails, they might be because she does. Given that her husband was active duty for 27 years, she probably knows what she's talking about when it comes to some of the drawbacks of enlisting in the military. I bet there were times when they struggled with money. I bet there were times she was sick of living in base housing that doesn't upkeep the property, but couldn't afford anything else. I bet there were times they fought because her husband went on deployment on short notice. I bet there were times she was sick of moving her stuff around and getting it beat up in the process.

I bet she views that they did all this in part so they could put their child through school, and to her college would lead her son and his future family to a better life than what she led being married to a career Sailor. Despite this, her son wants to say 'f*** that I'm joining the Navy." She also probably knows her children well, better than they know themselves at 18 years old.

At a minimum, OP should have a candid conversation with mom to hash out what her concerns are and why they exist.

It's not about letting mom make decisions for you, it's about respecting her concerns and making an educated decision.

[MacGyver]

There's a lot of chest-beating to just ignore a parent's advice. Were you all really brought up to discard the wisdom of your parents this easily?

OPs mom probably has some legitimate concerns about her son joining the military. Those concerns might be because she doesn't know what service in the nuclear Navy entails, they might be because she does. Given that her husband was active duty for 27 years, she probably knows what she's talking about when it comes to some of the drawbacks of enlisting in the military. I bet there were times when they struggled with money. I bet there were times she was sick of living in base housing that doesn't upkeep the property, but couldn't afford anything else. I bet there were times they fought because her husband went on deployment on short notice. I bet there were times she was sick of moving her stuff around and getting it beat up in the process.

I bet she views that they did all this in part so they could put their child through school, and to her college would lead her son and his future family to a better life than what she led being married to a career Sailor. Despite this, her son wants to say 'f*** that I'm joining the Navy." She also probably knows her children well, better than they know themselves at 18 years old.

At a minimum, OP should have a candid conversation with mom to hash out what her concerns are and why they exist.

It's not about letting mom make decisions for you, it's about respecting her concerns and making an educated decision.

You didn't read the article either,,, that's to bad.

BTW no one has said be disrespectful, have they?

[GLW]

There's a lot of chest-beating to just ignore a parent's advice. Were you all really brought up to discard the wisdom of your parents this easily?........

...................It's not........mom make decisions for you, it's about respecting her concerns and making an educated decision.

nice dissertation,.....

about the time you start asserting to your mom that it is none of her business who you sleep with, why you sleep with them, when or how you sleep with them, it then becomes a lame cop out to make Mom's opinion a crutch for your unwillingness to own your decisions,...

short form; it is lame to blame Mom

[HydroDave63]

[spekkio]

nice dissertation,.....

about the time you start asserting to your mom that it is none of her business who you sleep with, why you sleep with them, when or how you sleep with them, it then becomes a lame cop out to make Mom's opinion a crutch for your unwillingness to own your decisions,...

short form; it is lame to blame Mom

Right, because one-night-stands are totally equivelant to dropping out of college to enlist in the Navy for a minimum of 6 years.

It's not about responsibility for one's owns actions, it's about communicating with those who have been there, done that and are trying to look out for your best interests. Didn't you read ORSE and implement lessons learned when you were on the boat, or did you ignore them under the guise that you didn't want USS OtherFish own your decisions?

[GLW]

Right, because one-night-stands are totally equivelant to dropping out of college to enlist in the Navy for a minimum of 6 years.

It's not about responsibility for one's owns actions, it's about communicating with those who have been there, done that and are trying to look out for your best interests. Didn't you read ORSE and implement lessons learned when you were on the boat, or did you ignore them under the guise that you didn't want USS OtherFish own your decisions?

hmmmm,...let's break this down,....

...... it's about communicating with those who have been there, done that and are trying to look out for your best interests. ....

and Mom knows what about being a Navy nuke?

seems Mom is eminently more qualified to advise on the pratfalls of one night stands and 18 to 21 years of child support payments as opposed to ORSE or NNPP lessons learned,....

.....It's not about responsibility for one's owns actions,......

of course, there are those who don't make those payments, they have college to pay for, the rest of us can pick up the tab for their kid,...

[MGH]

Just suck it up and enlist...mom will get over it...don't listen to all these pansies

[vtor]

Just suck it up and enlist...mom will get over it...don't listen to all these pansies

Was my initial strategy as well but she actually was proud O.o

Tell her it Will open a lot of doors after your done !

[spekkio]

and Mom knows what about being a Navy nuke?

Being married to an AD Sailor for 27 years, Mom knows plenty about what the Navy brings. But it's cool that you can just insinuate someone's mom knows a lot about one-night stands.

of course, there are those who don't make those payments, they have college to pay for, the rest of us can pick up the tab for their kid,...

I have no idea what this even means. You will pay for part of the guy's education regardless of whether he does it on the GI bill or federally subsidized student loans; the latter he pays back. I'm not sure what "bills" you're picking up besides that as the guy is already in college and it doesn't sound like financial needs are his motivation.

But hey, maybe you're right along with some of the other members of the peanut gallery. He should totally give Mom the finger, "thanks for raising me, Mom, but I'm 20 now and know everything so keep your advice to yourself," drop out of college, and enlist. That's definitely the better long-term plan, and after 6-8 years as a nuke he'll totally be able to jump right back into 3rd and 4th year college courses without missing a beat. I'm sure the college will welcome him back with open-arms, too. Besides, if he stays in college the Navy just won't let him enlist at 22 years old or offer any student loan repayment options for doing so.

[GLW]

Being married to an AD Sailor for 27 years, Mom knows plenty about what the Navy brings....

the OP never said his father was 27 years active duty Navy, the assumption of Navy is yours,...

.....But it's cool that you can just insinuate someone's mom knows a lot about one-night stands.....

I stated that Mom knows more about the implications of caring for a child for 18 to 21 years more than Mom knows about being a Navy nuke,...

seems Mom is eminently more qualified to advise on the pratfalls of one night stands and 18 to 21 years of child support payments as opposed to ORSE or NNPP lessons learned,....

Being married to a Navy nuke is not the same thing as being a Navy nuke,...

Navy nuke was one of the easiest jobs I, as a Navy nuke, have ever performed,....

The OP will not be married to a sailor, the OP will be the sailor,...

Mom does not know what that life is,....

I feel for all the pain which you have gleaned and purported is part and parcel of this OP's mother's life,...

My own wife felt the same pain many, many years ago,...

For her sake, I turned my back on a promising and easy to succeed career in the nuclear navy and went civilian, no dysfunctional 27 years of misery and heartache for my wife and family, they came first for me, not the Navy, I stopped the pain and misery you have so well described at 8 years,...not 27,....

This is not about Mom's problems with being married to a man who put his 27 career and retirement above what you have insinuated was the misery of his wife and his family's daily struggles, it is about the OP's choices of wether to live his life as an unmarried, Navy nuke sailor,....

As you have made the case for so well, the OP's family had to deal with a selfish and priggish bastard who put his career ahead of his wife's better interests and desires,...

......OPs mom probably has some legitimate concerns about her son joining the military. Those concerns might be because she doesn't know what service in the nuclear Navy entails, they might be because she does. Given that her husband was active duty for 27 years, she probably knows what she's talking about when it comes to some of the drawbacks of enlisting in the military. I bet there were times when they struggled with money. I bet there were times she was sick of living in base housing that doesn't upkeep the property, but couldn't afford anything else. I bet there were times they fought because her husband went on deployment on short notice. I bet there were times she was sick of moving her stuff around and getting it beat up in the process.

I bet she views that they did all this in part so they could put their child through school, and to her college would lead her son and his future family to a better life than what she led being married to a career Sailor. Despite this, her son wants to say 'f*** that I'm joining the Navy." She also probably knows her children well, better than they know themselves at 18 years old......

Yet the OP has stated time and again he is okay with college,... he just wants something different, yet his mother insists on the college route,...

......I've been in University for the last year and I'm enjoying my time there but I know the Navy is the place for me. My mother freaked out when I brought up enlistment the first time, which is why I ended up at University in the first place. My dad fully supports my decision, as he's just retiring after 27 years of active duty starting with enlistment. I'm posting here because I'm desperate for some kind of advice in explaining to my mother that I'm not "wasting my potential/intelligence" if I decide to leave my university and join the Navy. Any advice is deeply appreciated.

I think Mom has bigger issues here than the OP,....

And as long as the OP keeps being a "Mama's boy through and through",...

....Mama's boy through and through, I'll probably deal with this kind of inner turmoil the rest of my life!...

He is absolutely correct that the turmoil of being a Mama's boy will sour the enjoyment of every endeavour he persues,...