Navy Nuke Wives Questions

[dsv2002]

Hi everyone, I am dsv2002 wife and I had a couple questions for you all. First I want to thank you for all the information you all have given my husband. He leaves Jan 30th for boot camp. We have been married 2 1/2 years and have a nine month old son. The Navy seems like the best thing for us right now with benefits and the money but I have some concerns about the seperation and how people say the navy is not for the family. I'm moving to Charleston right before he gets out of boot camp. Is it fairly easy for him to be able to live with me? If not how long does it usually take for them to waive that and give him approval to live with me? Also the second school that he is going to that could be in NEw York what are the chances of him having to go up there? Is there any kind of choice that he can make on that having a family?? How hard is the seperation? He is volunteering for subs so he can get the 3 months in and 3 months out, is there a good chance that he will get that? Also is there any kind of groups for navy wifes where they can talk and get support from one another?? Thank you for any responses and comments.

[Fermi2]

I sent you a PM if you'd like to call my wife.

Mike

[taterhead]

Ok, I will do my best here...

He will be able to live with you in Charleston, likely within hours of his arrival.  He will just need to let them know when he shows up that he has his family in Chas waiting on him.  If you wait until he gets there, you should be able to move into base housing, saving you a bundle in deposits.  Base housing in Chas is not bad.

I think anywhere from 60-70% of students stay in Charleston for prototype.  I am not sure having a family has much to do with it.  They will ask for NY volunteers, but in the end, you guys will go where they say to go   (Get used to this mantra  "Home is where the Navy sends me").

He can volunteer for subs, but only a SMALL percentage of submarine sailors are on trident submarines, which has the schedule to which you refer.  There is *NO* guarantee that he will be assigned to a trident submarine.  Fast attack sub schedules are much more unpredictable.  To assume that he will have that convenient 3 in/3 out schedule is setting yourself up for heartbreak later.

Once you get to a real seagoing command, there will be spousal support groups.  My wife, however, has done well just getting involved in school, work, and play groups for the kids.  She meets other spouses and through that dynamic, forms her own little unofficial support groups.

Will it be hard?  There will likely be hard times, but then again, who doesn't have to get through difficult times, military or otherwise? 

Good luck.

[graydragon67]

I agree with the above posting.  You should be able to have your hubby back home with you as soon as he arrives for school in SC.  Plus, you are more than likely going to be able to stay there for the end of the pipeline as well.

Oh and if he really wants to go subs he should try and get the Welder school after prototype.  That is if he is a Machinist Mate, it's a guaranteed spot on a sub. 

Now for the hard part.  Saying good bye to SC and hello to wherever the Navy sends you.  IF he wants to get on that 3 on/off rotation, you have a lot of work to do.  Yes, YOU.  You need to push him in his studies as hard as you can.  When I went thru the line many, (many years ago), the top student got his choice of orders.  I personally turned down my chance to get on a Trident and am personally glad for it. 

Good luck on your journey.  Out of the two of you, I'd say you have the hardest road to take.

[cairobat]

I highly suggest that you put off moving until he gets to Charleston if you can.
If you move now, the Navy will not pay for it.  If you move after they give him the go-ahead (generally, right after he reports here after boot camp) the Navy WILL pay for it.  Depending on where you are moving from, this could be a lot of money.  Also, if you move here without your husband, you will not be able to live in base housing.  You will be responsible for finding your own housing (some of the places around here are pretty undesirable, in my honest opinion) and you'll be responsible for your own utilities.  Base housing here at Charleston is safe, well-kept, and plentiful.  (You may be able to move into base housing after your husband joins you here, but you may end up stuck in a lease that you can't get out of.  This happened to a couple I know and caused them a big hardship).

As for the rest of the questions, there are a lot of variables that make giving an answer difficult.  Until he gets through the pipeline, it is impossible to tell what kind of ship he'll be on and where he'll be stationed.  Station preferences tend to be given to those who do well in school, but ultimately it's all based on Needs Of The Navy. 

Do a search on "Navy Wife" or "Navy Wives" and you will find numerous support groups.