What's Your best excuse for being late?

[JessJen]

just to check if you boss is observant

for the ladies: my testicles hurt

and for the guys out there: oh god my ovaries my ovaries it must be all the lifting I just cant do it I may burst an ovary

[RAD-GHOST]

It was years ago, I was the house supervisor and took the call, name to remain annonymous!

Ring, Ring, Ring!

Q.....Hello.

A.....This is ****** I'm not going to make it in today!

Q.....Are you sick?

A.....NO!

Q.....Hurt?

A.....NO!

Q.....I have to put down something?

A.....OK, sick.

Q....Ok, you got it!

A.....Buy the way, I won't be in torrow, either!

Q....Sick again?

A.....Yea, you can put that one down again.

Q.....Ok, sick it is.

A..... I don't think I'll be in the following day either!

Q.....OK, when do you think you will be able to make it back?

A.....Next Outage!

[Iowa_HP]

RadGhost,
That is probably one of the best that I've heard of todate! Thanks for the laugh!

[Roll Tide]

was having some vision problems just couldn't see coming to work

had leg problems just could't stand another day at work

A chip off the old block. Don't take that as a compliment, but I am impressed that they could get a chip off something that twisted!

[nukedawg]

I had rectal glaucoma----Couldn't see my butt being here!

[greengoo]

Woke up having had an epiphone, I hate my job.

[red1016]

I wasn't feeling well. Had the taste of dial soap in my mouth. Still won't buy that stuff. Husband doesn't mind!

[RAD-GHOST]

Here is a recent one, we knew what he meant!

I'm taking my wife to the doctor today.  He's going to get her pregnant and she wants me to watch the whole procedure!   

[Surveyors_mato]

....We were supposed to be in at 07:00?.............awh Hell!

[greengoo]

I am here, what more do you want?

[Nuclear NASCAR]

The one I'm using in the morning.  I didn't realize getting 2 wisdom teeth pulled was gonna hurt this bad!

[radrat]

hear is one that I took on the phone at and SGRP
this guy calls into the office and said he was sick . I asked if he was going to be ok and his reply was "I will be as soon as my stomach stops running off"
I didnt quite know what the heck that ment but it wasnt somthing I wanted, so I put him down for the next day to.

[chicklet]

I went out drinking with my boss one night and he said I could call in the next day, however he forgot to show up himself so we both got talked to.

[beacher]

I call in and tell them I'm having woman problems, and they never ask anymore questions.

[nukedog]

What I do is park in lot at the plant. I grab my car tires and rub some tire and dirt on them. Stroll in like nothing is wrong. When you get in there and ask why you are late tell them a little old lady had a flat and you had to stop and help. If they don't bite on ask them if they know where thier moms and grandmothers are this morning. That usally gets them to shut up.

[halflifer]

Come in late? Why?

because a lot of us work to live, not the other way around . besides, Glenn, you can't afford to miss the bus.....when would you do your writing?
I was at an outage one time and they used the security gate log as a time clock, with one modification....they expected us to gate in at quarter til because they had figured it took us 15 minutes to get to the RP office, get our coats off, etc.
I got called on the carpet for 'only' punching in 5 mins early. When asked why, I told the RPM "I only came in to count out and didn't figure the @^$*##> body counter was warmed up yet."

[USMCRADCON]

I had the honor of hearing this excuse from the infamous "Birdman" Davis.  Or better known as "Torpedo Tom".

TD - I won't be able to make it in the next 3 day
JR - Is everything OK?
TD - Yeah, but my pigeons *hu-hu* are mating this weekend *hu-hu* and I *hu-hu* have to be there.

Definitely the most original I have ever had the pleasure of hearing.  Of course I let him off. 

I still laugh about that one

[LaFeet]

After never having any problems riding a motorcycle, I move to Oklahoma.

One morning I came over the hill and managed to intercept a flock (is that the right group name) of buzzards munching on a fairly ripe deer.  missed most of them, but three managed to fly right into me and my bike...... between the cedars and bobwire along side the road I managed to stop without much injury.....needless to say my boss dropped the phone laughing when I called on my cell.....  went back home and drank myself silly.

[llamagramma]

Last summer my  Llama got heat stroke. I called in saying that I wouldn't be in until my DannyBoy was ok. The Vet gave him some injections and medicine and he got better. So I went back to work the next day. He died in Dec at age 21.

[Mike McFarlin]

Can't lock my Vette, the T-tops are broken...

[illegalsmile]

In 1981, I was working at 9Mile Pt when 2 of our techs who had the previous day off called in saying they were stuck in Mexico and didn't have any way to get in. Mexico is a village about 5 miles from the plant. We offered to come pick them up, figuring they were at Beck's or the Eiss House, in no shape to drive (this was pre-FFD remember).
When we asked where in Mexico they were, there was a brief pause while they discussed it. Then the answere: "Matamoros." It seems they had gotten off work the prior day and started doing shots of Tequila, ran out and headed out to get more. No liquor stores were open in Oswego at 9AM (these were Night Shifters) so they headed to Syracuse hoping for better luck.
They passed the Syracuse airport before they found a liquor store, and in their "state of mind" it seemed reasonable to catch a plane to Chicago, then Houston and a hop to Brownsville.
Maybe we were making too much money in those days.

[ronbo]

There was one guy I worked with that had a million of em.  He called in sick one day using the building Pax Phone.  Apparently, he didn't want to stay at work.  He's also the guy who called in saying he was going to be late because his dog just had kittens.  He don't work here no more.

[Mike_Koehler]

While working a D&D in Mass. I had a very understanding boss. I called in once from NY city and told him I was calling in well. He said  "What?" and I replied that I felt too good to come to work.

[maxxchia]

One of the guy's in my department (MM2 Moore) aka 'Meat Stick' once stated, "I'm late because when I heard my alarm clock, I thought it was a time bomb...  therefore I got up and diffused the bomb and thought 'cool, we are all safe now' and I went back to bed."

-max

[JessJen]

the baby pooped and it crawled up his back, into his hat, and socks, then onto the sofa which it claimed as a new colony. Its still there drinking tea after eating the dog.

what can i say the kids got some bad poops....people seem to understand being late for this