Questions about having kids while in Nuke pipeline.

[MMM]

If you're on a carrier, it's not as bad being away. We have cool things like the internet, email, and a post office to send and receive mail "regularly." Don't get me wrong, it's still rough. Carriers also do something called the United Through Reading program, where you can make a video of yourself reading books and send the video home. There are books to use or you can provide your own, which is what I did, so I was able to send the books home, too.

[SweetPea]

I think it all depends on the maturity of the two people involved and the willingness to make it work come hell or high water.

Marriages don't always need to be based spiritually. My husband and I choose not to follow any religion and we made our vows to each other.

We choose not to argue over little things and talk about the big things. Marriage isn't easy and it takes a lot of hard work. A military marriage is even harder. The question is whether or not the two parties want to put in the effort and make it work no matter what. Having a child might make that even more difficult, but gives you all the more reason to stay together.

[IPREGEN]

Some things you just have to figure out for your self
Marriage is a challenge anyway
Married in the Navy is a bigger challenge
Married, in the navy and trying to study to pass Nuke school is even a bigger challenge.
Now add a baby to that.

You should take a look in the mirror, this forum is not the resource for right or wrong answers for when you should have a baby. It's up to you to be responsible enough to handle everything.

[dad]

Cryptos also go to sea. Perhaps you need to reevaluate and pick a different branch?

"I expect and demand your very best. Anything less, you should have joined the Air Force."

Hey, now.  The Navy chief at my son's recruiting center, apparently not sub-surface rated, shared that 50 men go to sea in a submarine,
and 25 couples come back.  Far be it from me to argue with a Navy chief.  But even after that my son went Navy NF over Air Force.

Go figure.

[HydroDave63]

Hey, now.  The Navy chief at my son's recruiting center, apparently not sub-surface rated, shared that 50 men go to sea in a submarine,
and 25 couples come back.  Far be it from me to argue with a Navy chief.  But even after that my son went Navy NF over Air Force.

Go figure.

That's usually described as 120 men go on patrol, 57 couples come back, 3 are getting a divorce. Discussion in detail is in Gold Member, for only 10 cents a day!

[dad]

That's usually described as 120 men go on patrol, 57 couples come back, 3 are getting a divorce. Discussion in detail is in Gold Member, for only 10 cents a day!

Not sure I could take this kind of stimulation everyday.

No mater how much you paid me.   

[Marlin]

Not sure I could take this kind of stimulation everyday.

No mater how much you paid me.   

A thick skin is a good thing when you have a hundred young men with above average IQs. Especially when head games, practical jokes, and one upmanship is the order of the day.

[mizzyung]

Thank you all for the advice, I agree with everything you guys said. My wife doesn't though.

I didn't takt the time to read every single post, but to offer my general advice from  wife's point of view on the situation;

My husband and I got married while I was in power school and I became pregnant shortly there after and he began Power school. After consideration (and the fact that ETs generally make more money than MMs) I got out of the Navy to care for the baby. Whether or not it is a good idea for you is up to you and your wife and how much she understands the Navy. Being in made it easier to understand (although still hormonal) where he was coming from in a lot of aspects of being pregnant while my husband was in the pipeline. IT IS NO WHERE NEAR PEACHES AND CREAM!! It's also not all horrible if you have a strong wife. Power School and Prototype (especially prototype) are now more recently consider the "ultimate test" on the strength of your marriage because even without a child, the hours, the studying, the rotating shift work is A LOT to adjust to for a new to the navy world wife. I myself, have done a lot of counseling with both "wives to the pipeline" pregnant, with children, and without and it's safe to say all would agree PROTOTYPE is the worst! It's not very family oriented, and is probably the toughest leg (family wise) of the pipeline both as a student and a SPU. I had one son while my husband was a student and another while he was a SPU and if I had decided again, during prototype is NOT A GOOD IDEA. Even as one of the top students in his classes, the Hours and shifts are just hard for a wife to adjust to, especially a pregnant one because it is really a wear on your body no matter how much you try and avoid it. There were times when my husband qualified everything over a month early as a student and spent the next month cake-walking almost always home to where I didn't see him my entire 8th month of pregnancy as a top instructor except for maybe 15min a day between sleeping and going to work. My suggestion is to wait until after prototype bc that place is a test of strengths on any marriage without the worries of pregnancy and children and no matter how ready or it you or your wife may feel, that place is real good at throwing curve balls. Then you and your wife should sit and evaluate the best time for both of you after you are assigned your next command (or picked up staff if that is what you wish) and see what kind of boat it will be and the type of schedule you may be on.

And Yes, Boomers are quite nice!

Best of luck to you and the misses!!  feel free to have her ask anything she may be wondering from the wives side

[Cycoticpenguin]

I didn't takt the time to read every single post, but to offer my general advice from  wife's point of view on the situation;

My husband and I got married while I was in power school and I became pregnant shortly there after and he began Power school. After consideration (and the fact that ETs generally make more money than MMs) I got out of the Navy to care for the baby. Whether or not it is a good idea for you is up to you and your wife and how much she understands the Navy. Being in made it easier to understand (although still hormonal) where he was coming from in a lot of aspects of being pregnant while my husband was in the pipeline. IT IS NO WHERE NEAR PEACHES AND CREAM!! It's also not all horrible if you have a strong wife. Power School and Prototype (especially prototype) are now more recently consider the "ultimate test" on the strength of your marriage because even without a child, the hours, the studying, the rotating shift work is A LOT to adjust to for a new to the navy world wife. I myself, have done a lot of counseling with both "wives to the pipeline" pregnant, with children, and without and it's safe to say all would agree PROTOTYPE is the worst! It's not very family oriented, and is probably the toughest leg (family wise) of the pipeline both as a student and a SPU. I had one son while my husband was a student and another while he was a SPU and if I had decided again, during prototype is NOT A GOOD IDEA. Even as one of the top students in his classes, the Hours and shifts are just hard for a wife to adjust to, especially a pregnant one because it is really a wear on your body no matter how much you try and avoid it. There were times when my husband qualified everything over a month early as a student and spent the next month cake-walking almost always home to where I didn't see him my entire 8th month of pregnancy as a top instructor except for maybe 15min a day between sleeping and going to work. My suggestion is to wait until after prototype bc that place is a test of strengths on any marriage without the worries of pregnancy and children and no matter how ready or it you or your wife may feel, that place is real good at throwing curve balls. Then you and your wife should sit and evaluate the best time for both of you after you are assigned your next command (or picked up staff if that is what you wish) and see what kind of boat it will be and the type of schedule you may be on.

And Yes, Boomers are quite nice!

Best of luck to you and the misses!!  feel free to have her ask anything she may be wondering from the wives side

I would like to remind OP that this is a fairly narrow view of the navy. She was married to a SPU who came home every night (whether or not she got to spend much quality time is beside the point), and is on a boomer that has a set rotational schedule. Easy? No.  Easier then a fast attack or carrier? Yes. Spending 6-8/9 months out to sea at a time is a little harder then KNOWING when your  schedules are going to rotate around. My ship had a 6 month deployment, followed by a ship yard period for 2 months,  then 2 months later we were on another 7 month deployment.

Again, before feathers get ruffled, Im not saying this was easy for her, but I am saying she does have it better then she thinks she does.  And in no way shape or form is power school or prototype the "proving grounds" for a marriage.

[mizzyung]

Having kids while at a shore command is I'm sure easier than a sea command, but I just don't want him to think that while in the pipline (in more recent years) your training comes first and just because you are on shore and home everyday doesn't mean you are going to be there as much as you would like to. I had my first while my husband was in power school and I gave birth Friday morning and he got that day off and had to be back in class and putting in hours that same Monday. Unless death or serious illness, training always comes first and you will hear "because it's your job" over and over when wondering why you can't be at this appointment or that. Sacrifices are still going to have to be made and stress is added on top of the stress from the pipeline as with any new baby.

Best wishes!!

@Charlie Murphy, I know I've had it good but I also know many who were in my same position that weren't so lucky.

[mizzyung]

Oh, I meant to give you an idea of what time period I'm speaking from;

My power school son is 3 and SPU son is just 1 and we just transferred less than 6 months ago.