Married Female Considering Nuke -- Questions about Husband/Family

[Undecided]

Hello everyone! I've been looking through these forums trying to find something about Nuke life for married females, but I haven't really found anything that answered my questions. Thanks in advance for the responses!

I am 21 years old, with a Bachelor's degree. I scored a 99 on the ASVAB (I don't have my individual scores in front of me at the moment.) I Depped in back in July 2010 as a CTI after passing the DLAB with a 133. My ship date is March 2011. CTI was my first choice, with Nuke as a backup in case I didn't pass the DLAB. Both require about 18 months of training, and both are very tough programs with high dropout rates. Both require a 6 year contract. Either way I know that I am in for a lot of work.

I got a call from my recruiter yesterday, saying that the guy in charge of the Nuke recruiting in the area saw my ASVAB scores and called them. He wanted permission to call me to discuss the nuke program. I said sure, I'll hear him out, and he should be calling me this evening. I spent last night re-comparing the two programs. My recruiter also mentioned something in the neighborhood of $20k for a bonus. I'm trying to figure out which program would be better for my situation.

Like I said, I am a married female, and have a husband and future family to think about. The timeline as far as training completion goes is about the same, so it still puts us at somewhere in the neighborhood of 2 years before we can consider having children. No big deal there, we're still undecided on whether or not we plan to have them at all. I worked full time starting in my senior year of high school, in addition to taking college classes at the time. I'm used to having my plate full at all times, and he's pretty much used to my ever changing schedule and long hours. There have been times when I've left home at 5:30am and come home at 8:30pm to shower, eat, and study before collapsing into bed. I know that's not quite as extreme as the Nuke schedules I've read about on these boards, but considering I started doing that at 17, I think I'm in good shape for adapting to the hectic life of a Nuke.

Neither program has a high rate of "career" members. I sincerely hope things will go well enough for me to stay in long term, but to be practical, for now I'm going to plan on getting out after my 6 years. It seems to me that Nuke offers a better future potential (higher salary, more job options, etc.) than CTI. The $20k bonus is also appealing, considering I'm getting nothing now, and $20k would take care of all of our debt. But, as far as interest goes, I think I would probably enjoy the 6 years more as a CTI. I'm trying to plan for the longterm here, and would like to do something to make myself more hireable after my time in the Navy. However, I'd also prefer not to spend 6 years hating life. I'm used to working hard, and that doesn't scare me. I've had jobs that I despised, but I stayed and still did my job well. To those who have completed Nuke and left, was it worth the time and effort once you got to the private sector?

What happens when a female Nuke gets pregnant (after training)? Are there any female Nukes out there that can describe their experience? I know it isn't safe for a fetus to be exposed to the radiation, so what do they have you do during the nine months? How long do you get for maternity leave, and are there any negative side effects to the baby if you're breastfeeding after working around the radiation? What do they have you do if you find out you're pregnant after your ship has left?

I've read all of the posts giving advice to and about wives and girlfriends of Nukes, but I haven't been able to find anything pertaining to Nuke husbands. It seems like the majority of Nukes are male. If there are any Nuke hubbies out there, or anyone who knows one, I would appreciate your take on the program. Obviously, he doesn't have to worry about how to fix the car or the leaky faucet or who's going to kill the spiders. My biggest concern would be the finances, which I generally take care of. We've already pretty much worked out how the bills are going to get paid while I'm at RTC, but will there be a quick few minutes here and there for me to schedule a bill payment during training? Worst case scenario I can always set everything up to be auto-paid by the credit card and then just pay that one bill. (Note, it's not that he can't manage the money, it's just that I like it done a certain way and prefer to take care of it myself.)

I'm sorry this is so long, I know there are a lot of questions here! I know no one can give me an absolute "this is the best option for you" answer, and I don't expect that. I really just want your opinions/experiences/advice. My husband and I have been together for 4 years, and married for 6 months. Our marriage is strong, and we trust each other. (If that weren't the case, I wouldn't be going in the military at all.) We have discussed it, and we both realize that this is going to make the next few years of our lives rough, but will help make it easier for us in the long run and allow us to enjoy the rest of our lives together. Thanks again!

[jowlman]

I remember back in the early 90's TVA tried to pull this. For couples 1 would get full per diem the other would get half. Then they tried to pull, if 2 techs that were not related but got a shared apartment, the same thing 1 full, 1 half. To get the per diem you had to provide a copy of your lease or hotel receipt. More that 1 tech said " Screw this" and left. People got around this by having there leases filled out with 1 apartment #, but with A + B.

[tselby]

message incoming!

[tselby]

read thru some of this material,

It's been a while since the last time I have contributed anything to the forums (not that asking questions that most of the time had been asked before ever contributed much). So I decided to take some time and gather some of the topics that were most helpful to me as someone getting into the Navy Nuke world and the ones that are asked the most. Hopefully it will help some new members find what they need (not that it was ever that hard) and keep some of you site veterans from having to answer the same questions for a while. I insist that those of you who are new to the site do not limit your searching to what I have listed here. This site has much more to offer. You just have to put in some effort and look for what you need.

Some general discussions about if the Navy Nuke life is something you would want to get into and how to go about getting into it:
http://www.nukeworker.com/forum/index.php/topic,11078.0.HTML
http://www.nukeworker.com/forum/index.php/topic,3604.0.HTML
http://www.nukeworker.com/forum/index.php/topic,5431.0.HTML
http://www.nukeworker.com/forum/index.php/topic,6077.0.HTML
http://www.nukeworker.com/forum/index.php/topic,12969.0.HTML
http://www.nukeworker.com/forum/index.php/topic,12994.0.HTML
http://www.nukeworker.com/forum/index.php/topic,13214.0.HTML
http://www.nukeworker.com/forum/index.php/topic,16077.0.HTML
http://www.nukeworker.com/forum/index.php/topic,15518.0.HTML
http://www.nukeworker.com/forum/index.php/topic,22615.0.html

Some discussions about the ASVAB and the NFQT
http://www.nukeworker.com/forum/index.php/topic,6442.0.HTML
http://www.nukeworker.com/forum/index.php/topic,14706.MSG84374.HTML#msg84374
http://www.nukeworker.com/forum/index.php/topic,2350.msg20357.HTML#msg20357
http://www.nukeworker.com/forum/index.php/topic,11064.0.HTML

Some discussions about the Navy Nuke life on carriers, on subs, in training, with a family and some experiences of some Navy Nukes:
http://www.nukeworker.com/forum/index.php/topic,6180.0.HTML
http://www.nukeworker.com/forum/index.php/topic,13419.0.HTML
http://www.nukeworker.com/forum/index.php/topic,13876.30.HTML
http://www.nukeworker.com/forum/index.php/topic,14444.0.HTML
http://www.nukeworker.com/forum/index.php/topic,14064.0.HTML
http://www.nukeworker.com/forum/index.php/topic,11858.0.HTML
http://www.nukeworker.com/forum/index.php/topic,3483.0.HTML
http://www.nukeworker.com/forum/index.php/topic,15606.0.HTML

Some discussions about the accommodations during the Pipeline (A-School, Power School and Prototype), subject related questions and what your scores eventually mean in the Navy:
http://www.nukeworker.com/forum/index.php/topic,11065.0.HTML
http://www.nukeworker.com/forum/index.php/topic,14236.0.HTML
http://www.nukeworker.com/forum/index.php/topic,5193.0.HTML
http://www.nukeworker.com/forum/index.php/topic,8149.0.HTML
http://www.nukeworker.com/forum/index.php/topic,13493.0.HTML
http://www.nukeworker.com/forum/index.php/board,44.0.HTML

Some discussions about the different Nuke rates and how to "choose" which one is right for you. "Needs of the Navy" is a phrase that will repeat in each of these topics:
http://www.nukeworker.com/forum/index.php/topic,12184.0.HTML
http://www.nukeworker.com/forum/index.php/topic,14609.0.HTML
http://www.nukeworker.com/forum/index.php/topic,1890.0.HTML
http://www.nukeworker.com/forum/index.php/topic,16109.0.HTML
http://www.nukeworker.com/forum/index.php/topic,16466.0.HTML
http://www.nukeworker.com/forum/index.php/topic,10692.0.html
http://www.nukeworker.com/forum/index.php/topic,3821.0.HTML
http://www.nukeworker.com/forum/index.php/topic,3676.0.HTML
http://www.nukeworker.com/forum/index.php/topic,4089.25.HTML
http://www.nukeworker.com/forum/index.php/topic,1737.0.HTML

Some discussions relating to Officer programs including STA-21, USNA, OCS, and NUPOC. There are many other discussion on these posted so you can do your own search depending on which program you are interested in. You can find at least a brief overview of each here:
http://www.nukeworker.com/forum/index.php/topic,17499.0.HTML
http://www.nukeworker.com/forum/index.php/topic,7388.0.HTML
http://www.nukeworker.com/forum/index.php/topic,13741.0.HTML
http://www.nukeworker.com/forum/index.php/topic,11017.0.HTML
http://www.nukeworker.com/forum/index.php/topic,16171.0.HTML

Some discussions pertaining to waivers including but not limited to home schooling, high school g.p.a. issues, and incidents with the law:
http://www.nukeworker.com/forum/index.php/topic,15537.0.HTML
http://www.nukeworker.com/forum/index.php/topic,16333.0.HTML
http://www.nukeworker.com/forum/index.php/topic,4904.0.HTML
http://www.nukeworker.com/forum/index.php/topic,3706.0.HTML

Some tips for people going into the Pipeline that are married, engaged or in a relationship. There are many people on this board who can go into more detail if you need help related to these questions. I am not one of them:
http://www.nukeworker.com/forum/index.php/topic,7271.0.HTML
http://www.nukeworker.com/forum/index.php/topic,16817.0.HTML
http://www.nukeworker.com/forum/index.php/topic,16229.0.HTML
http://www.nukeworker.com/forum/index.php/topic,16178.0.HTML
http://www.nukeworker.com/forum/index.php/topic,13730.0.HTML
http://www.nukeworker.com/forum/index.php/topic,10694.0.HTML
http://www.nukeworker.com/forum/index.php/topic,8165.0.HTML

Some tips on how to prepare for the Pipeline (and the futility of preparing by studying):
http://www.nukeworker.com/forum/index.php/topic,9932.0.HTML
http://www.nukeworker.com/forum/index.php/topic,13014.0.HTML
http://www.nukeworker.com/forum/index.php/topic,1421.0.HTML
http://www.nukeworker.com/forum/index.php/topic,5866.0.HTML
http://www.nukeworker.com/forum/index.php/topic,10551.0.HTML
http://www.nukeworker.com/forum/index.php/topic,6407.0.HTML
http://www.nukeworker.com/forum/index.php/topic,14899.0.HTML


Hope this helps.

-DEP Recruit, imthehoopa

[co60slr]

What happens when a female Nuke gets pregnant (after training)? Are there any female Nukes out there that can describe their experience? I know it isn't safe for a fetus to be exposed to the radiation, so what do they have you do during the nine months? How long do you get for maternity leave, and are there any negative side effects to the baby if you're breastfeeding after working around the radiation? What do they have you do if you find out you're pregnant after your ship has left?

We are all exposed to radiation every day.  In fact, some parts of the world have higher dose rates...as does living at higher altitudes, riding in an airplane, etc. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Background_radiation

However, (long dissertation on radiation statistics omitted), an expectant mom has appropriate (i.e., very conservative) limits to ensure there's no issues/questions/concerns later.

If assigned to a submarine, you'll get less radiation than your husband sitting on land (e.g., 20 MR/month or so).

The exposure reports you will receive are "occupational" doses, which has the background radiation subtracted out.  The government or company are only accountable for what they give you...not the rest you receive from cosmic, et al. sources.

So, after 20+ years as a career nuke, I've received about 300 mrem/year (6000 mrem in 20 years) in background radiation that everyone received.   On top of that I received an extra 1000 mrem from nuclear plants.  Insignificant.

I'd be more concerned with radon in my basement, etc than I would about anything from military or commercial reactors.

[Samabby]

Did you consider trying for an officer program?

[Yaeger]

I don't know much about CTI, but in half the topics on the Nuke: Getting Out the reasons discussed are family.

It's a minimum of 6 years where the majority of the time you won't be able to go home, or call home. You'll have to get used to not being there for your kids or your husband. You'll have to become accustomed to watching your kids grow inches at a time when you briefly see them between deployments. You'll get home from deployments and your kids may not immediately recognize you.

Divorce rates in the nuclear program are extremely high, especially among younger couples.

On the flip side, if you have the support and determination to shoulder the burdens, grief, and heartache the Navy Nuclear Program can provide a great career or provide a boost into the commercial industry.

[andrewnavy]

It kind of sounds strange that your husband cannot pay the bills.  

To the point:
What happens if you are pregnant?

-Immediately notify the command at which point you will be taken off the ship and given a desk job for the duration of the pregnancy and sometime afterwards.  Try to schedule the mommy thing around deployments so you do not alienate yourself from your piers.  Nothing worse than having people weasel out of deployments.

Was it worth it?

-For me it was worth it.  I will have about 9.5 years in when I am ending my military service.  It was a good way for me to pay for college without my parents having to.  I have finished my bachelors degree and have the 9/11 bill to pay for an MBA.  I learned a lot about about a career path that was not even on my radar prior to joining.  Hopefully it does payoff in the job market as I am soon to get out.  If I could do it over again I would have gone into the Coast Guard.  You get to see the benefit of your work first hand IE. Katrina, BP oilspill and other natural disasters.  There are also organizations like N.O.A.A. that can allow you to be in the ocean and not be in the navy.  You can join the officer core in NOAA and drive their ships depending on your degree.

Do you want it?

- First, the attrition rate through the nuclear pipeline is unfortunately disgusting low and I cannot believe that there has not been any major nuclear incidents (thank God for a safe plant designs).  For anyone who might respond with "you would rather have a relief than standing port and starboard 6hr watches,"  I say nay.  I stood those for a considerable amount of time and would much rather do so with competant people than scary ones. Saying that, you will meet people that are leaps and bounds smarter than you are and do there jobs really well.  In response to your long days, you have no idea.  It is not so much the amount of time as much as the amount and when that time is required.  If you do end up on a submarine (as I am a sub guy), the command expects the boat to be your 1st priority and believe me your family is an extremely distant second.  It gets very frustrating when the make you stay at work when your wife is having serious surgery.  I am not one to complain but there are good reasons that most of my friends left after 6 and 10 years of service.  It is very hard to change anything because you are always lower on the tot-um pole than those who make decisions that dictate your working life.  All you can do is do your best and try to keep as good of an attitude as possible.  My friends are doing well by the way, a few work as instructors at power plants and also a couple are NLO's.

Why?

-If you already have your degree (what degree do you have?), why be an enlisted person?  Your sea/shore rotation schedule is considerably better than an enlisted nuke.  If you love to learn then get a commission and get them to pay for more of your education.  If you want a foot hold into the nuclear career then I guess it is a good way to go.  

CTI

My friend that I went to bootcamp with was an ET nuke and was medically disqualified from submarines.  They converted him to a CT (he already had a computer science degree).  He went to the schools and then went to Washington D.C. to work for the NSA.  He is on terminal now and landed a 6 figure job hear in Hawaii doing that sort of stuff as a government civilian.  Mind you he is brilliant and just completed his second bachelors and his masters.  There is money to be made in both fields but I think it comes down to the person and not the training that will ensure success down the road.

I hope that answered some of your questions.  Make sure you research before you make your decision.  Teach your husband to pay bills because it is hard to do it your self while you are stuck on a ship for months.  Check all of your avenues.  My two best childhood friends are also in the service.  One is a captain in the Army flying helos and the other is a o-3 in the Coast Guard flying helos.  Through all of our consensus we agree that the Coasties have the best job.  They have smaller deployments and seem to take care of there people more so that the navy or the army.


GOOD LUCK!

[Undecided]

Thanks for all the responses! That was faster than I expected!

I got my bachelor's degree with a double major in Criminology and Sociology. Not exactly in demand specializations for the military these days, and not at all related to either CTI or Nuke. My original longterm goal was to make it to the FBI/CIA, etc one day. I'm working on my OCS application (actually, I'm just working on passing the physical well enough), but I still need a backup in case I'm not selected. I'm not sure how comfortable I am with the prospect of being in charge of other people either.

Co60Slr, Thanks for the information about background radiation, I didn't know about that previously!

Andrewnavy, He can pay the bills, and did just fine managing his own bills before. I'm just a little on the OCD/perfectionist side and since we've pretty much combined our accounts at this point it makes me much happier to do it myself. He's just as happy to not have to worry about it. As long as we've got money and the lights are still on he knows I'm doing a good job.

It seems like I may be better off sticking with CTI. It's been very hard to get any first hand advice on that field, as most of what they do is classified. After I thought about the bonus more and broke it down over 6 years ($3333.33~) it really doesn't seem like enough to be worth giving up my first choice in jobs. I know a lot of people don't get to go in, ask for a specific job and actually get it. I'll talk to the nuke recruiter tonight and see what he has to say, but I'll probably stick with CTI if I don't get selected for OCS. Thanks guys

[MMM]

If you want to go FBI/CIA, I would strongly recommend CTI. I believe they would like the INTEL/Language background you would get to go with the degree you have. As a nuke, I don't know how much more you would bring to the table.

As far as the bonus goes, don't forget to take out taxes.

Above all: Take the job you want! Both CTI and nuke have great post-navy careers. A lot of civilian comapnies love ex-nukes, but you'll probably end up in a power plant of some kind. As a CTI, you have the potential to go far in any company, depending on the language you learn.

[co60slr]

It seems like I may be better off sticking with CTI. It's been very hard to get any first hand advice on that field, as most of what they do is classified. After I thought about the bonus more and broke it down over 6 years ($3333.33~) it really doesn't seem like enough to be worth giving up my first choice in jobs. I know a lot of people don't get to go in, ask for a specific job and actually get it. I'll talk to the nuke recruiter tonight and see what he has to say, but I'll probably stick with CTI if I don't get selected for OCS. Thanks guys

$3333 is nothing.  (In a theatrical sense...)

I suggest you also look long term.  What do you want to do AFTER the Navy?

You should be looking at what the Navy can do for you and YOUR long term goals.  Not just a paycheck for 4-6 years.

[Undecided]

The bonus really isn't a big factor anymore, since I broke it down to a per year rate and realized that it isn't actually that much. As far as what I want to do after the Navy, I'm really don't know. If I can dream for a moment, there is actually a nuclear power plant located right in the area that I've dreamed about one day retiring to. Assuming the stars were willing to align in my favor it would be awesome to be able to go live and work there in 6 years while I'm still in my 20's instead of having to wait until I'm in my 50's to be able to afford it. Honestly, it's the type of area that I would love to raise a family in if everything worked out right.

My husband and I talked quite a bit about this again last night. Based on what I read here I stressed to him the fact that if I do go nuke I'll be gone all the time and he's going to have to be responsible for the house/dogs/bills/etc. He says he understands. He's hell bent on me going to OCS, but after thinking about it I explained it to him like this: It really isn't what I want to do. I know myself well enough to know that if it isn't something I want, when the going gets tough I'm going to have a hard time pushing myself through it. I know the pay and benefits for officers are fantastic, but I don't want to set myself up to fail.

In the long term, maybe nuke would be better. The problem with going FBI/CIA is that there is also a lot of away from home time involved. I do want to be able to be a part of my children's lives if/when they come. It's frustrating dealing with so many "maybes" and "ifs".

[Undecided]

Thank you Gamecock, I will do so.

The nuke recruiter never called me yesterday, so I'll have to wait and see when he does. I'll let you guys know what I come up with. I really do appreciate all of the feedback from you guys!