Insect Repellent

[HousePuke]

An insect repellent salesman traveling through the mid-west came to a farm house and tried his pitch on the farmer.  "Sir", he said, "my bug spray works so well that I guarantee you will never be bitten again."
The farmer was a bit skeptical, so he made the salesman a proposition.  "I'll tie you buck naked out in my corfield covered with that bug spray" said the farmer.  "In the morning if there isn't a single bite on you I'll by a whole case of the stuff."
The salesman decided to take the deal and was delighted at the prospect of selling a whole case of repellent.  Off they went into the field where the salesman stripped down naked and the farmer sprayed him thoroughly with the spray.  The farmer then tied the saleman to a stake in the field and left him for the night.
The next morning the farmer returned to the field and sure enough, there was the salesman hanging from his bonds without a single bite.  Even though there were no bites the salesman looked haggard and drawn, a total wreck.  The farmer was perplexed.  He said, "son, you don't have a single bite but you look like hell.  What in the world happened to you?"
"For crying out loud mister," the salesman gasped, "doesn't that calf have a mother?!"