Forced out of DEP?

[snak3y3z1001]

hey i would like to know if its possible to get pulled out of DEP? my parents are gonna call up my recruiter next week and try to take me out they'r forcing me to go to college first

[shayne]

I believe it is possible, however I'm not sure of the route to take.  But it does sound like it is something that you want to do, you may want to want to talk more with your parents.

[RCLCPO]

No one forces you to do anything.  Convince you, persuade you, cajole you, but not force you.

If going Nuke is what YOU want to do, have your local nuclear field recruiter sit down with you and your folks, even if it's at your house.  The local nuke can then explain, face-to-face, how you can get your degree while learning about nuclear power and getting four years of experience.  For FREE.  Then, even if you do just one tour in the Navy, you can get out, use the MGIBill to pay for a Master's degree BEFORE having to go look for a job.

I did it, and so can you.

[snak3y3z1001]

my recruiter did come to my house and talked about all that. thats how i got in the first place. had to translate for them since they're from vietnam and speak/understand little english. after my relatives found out, they startin calling my parents and telling them to make me go to college first so i can be an officer with a higher pay if i still want to goto the navy after college. they tried to get me to call my recruiter myself but i didnt. told them why should i call if i want to go. they said you can go after im done four years of college 

[ex-SSN585]

Just to clarify:

RCLCPO mentioned the local Nuclear Field recruiter, who is a different person from your recruiter.  If you were well qualified and were eager to join the nuclear program when you went to MEPS, you probably never saw the Nuclear Field recruiter.

I suspect that RCLCPO said that because in most cases, your recruiter is not in the nuclear program.  The Nuclear Field recruiter might be able to provide your family with more insight into what you will experience than the local recuiter.

I know family influence can be very strong, especially with Asian families, so if your family puts sufficient pressure on you to leave DEP, do not let anyone convince you that there will be any legal reprecussions.  There will be no bad mark in your record, and if you enter college and find out that it is not the best route for you to take, the nuclear field will still be an option for you, as long as you still meet the requirements for entry.  By this, I mean that there are many social pressures on you in college and some people who have yielded to those pressures have made themselves ineligible for the nuclear field because of drugs or civil involvement (including traffic tickets).

Since your parents initially approved of your joining the Navy, I'm sure that after you enter the Navy and graduate from initial nuclear training, they will be proud of you.

An officer has a different job from an enlisted person, so going through college and then joining the Navy doesn't guarantee you a better job, just a different one.  As you may have read in other topics, there are people who have completed college and are fully qualified to join as an officer, but realize that the enlisted job is the one they prefer.

[taterhead]

I did it, and so can you.

So did I.

The opportunites are there, you just have to take them.

My mom freaked when I joined...I quit college to do it.  She couldn't be happier today, though.

[snak3y3z1001]

O.Okay. I didnt know you can still be enlisted if went to college for 4 years. Thought you automatically become a officer I highly doubt they will still let me stay even if the field recruiter come talks to my parents. Since they both never went to school, they would listen to my aunt/uncles (all went to college) Ill probably gonna do what taterhead did, goto college for a bit and drop out.   

[taterhead]

I went to 3 years of school (college) before burning out and joining the Navy.

I found out soon after joining that at least half of my nuke peers had the same story. 

Less than 8 years later, I am a Chief, and have my degree.

The opportunities are there in this field.  Fast advancement for the motivated, education for the diligent.

I don't have a single regret.  However, it was my decision the whole way.  I didn't even tell my family until I already joined.

If you have any other questions for me or anyone else that are of a personal note, please utilize the PM feature.  Keeps the boards cleaner

[Roll Tide]

hey i would like to know if its possible to get pulled out of DEP? my parents are gonna call up my recruiter next week and try to take me out they'r forcing me to go to college first

Put in for the Naval Academy and Navy ROTC programs. If you get selected for either, you can get out of DEP.

I am assuming you have very high respect for your parents, and do not want to disappoint them. I applaud your actions and your sentiments. Do your parents want to compromise your honor? You have signed a contract, which will have to be broken for you to not enlist.

I understand the extended family concerns; I stood my ground to let my son enlist in the military regardless of my extended family's concerns. Enlisting will be a big step towards having full control of your own destiny!

[jeepgirl1]

Snak3y,
Are you under the age of 18?  If not, I don't understand how how your folks can force you out of the Navy or make you go to college ... 

[newnavynuke]

I don't know if this is totally correct but I'm 99.9% sure that if you are over 18 and you have already enlisted that you and only you can voluntarily pull out.  So they may ask you to quit, but I really don't think that they can force you out.  I'm not encouraging going against their wishes, but in the end you have to be happier with your decision and if they love you as much as they sound like they do then they'll admire your passion and dedication and be proud of you for doing your duty to your country and bringing a huge honor to the family.  Just for the record when I signed up my Mom tried to get me arrested to disqualify me, and my grandmother cried for like 2 days straight, so I hear where you're coming from, but with a little more talking my grandmother is happy and my mom has a "proud parent of a sailor" sticker on her truck.  Good luck man....


-Bryan

[Roll Tide]

I don't know if this is totally correct but I'm 99.9% sure that if you are over 18 and you have already enlisted that you and only you can voluntarily pull out. 

I signed for my 17 year old before he went to MEPS. After that signature, it is legally out of my hands.
Legally is not the only area of concern!

If this family is like the Vietnamese families I am acquainted with, then parental approval is huge! Many are only a generation removed from arranged marriages. Snaky needs to have immediate (but not necessarily extended) family support in order to be successful!

[snak3y3z1001]

Snak3y,
Are you under the age of 18?  If not, I don't understand how how your folks can force you out of the Navy or make you go to college ... 

Im only 17  Wont turn 18 till Oct. And yes i have respect for my preants. They both work very hard to raise me and my 3 younger brothers. I sort of feel "guilty" if i dont listen to them. Only person that is supportive about my decision is one of my uncles. So far they havent brought up the subject about the Navy since last week. If they do bring it up later on ill try my best to persuade them to let me stay in. Dont want to lie and say i cant get out

[ex-SSN585]

"Dont want to lie and say i cant get out"

Yes, I understand your situation and I'd like to give you the best advice I can.  It might not be the most popular and it is my own opinion, but I believe it is accurate and thorough.  I was in the Navy, in the nuclear power program.  I also was a field recruiter and a Nuclear Field recruiter.

First, it might seem that people are encouraging you to become independent.  I don't believe they fully comprehend how tight-knit Asian families are.  It's just something you grow up with.  Even if the family doesn't outwardly portray itself as Chinese or Japanese or Vietnamese in order to better integrate into American society, family values are something that are always there.  Yes, on one level, your parents will be proud of you.  However, I don't know your family in order to say for sure.  My parents seemed supportive although they had no say in my decision (I was 24 and was living on my own), but I later have come to realize that my mother was very upset and my decision affected her greatly.  She had hopes that I would become a doctor like my grandfather.  Both my parents are college-educated and assumed that I would complete my degree before entering into a profession.  If your parents don't have those kind of goals, it may not affect them as much as it affected mine.

Right now, you basically have a gentleman's agreement with the Navy.  They have agreed that if you enlist at the end of your DEP period, you will get the training you were promised when you agreed to enter DEP.  You have given your word, much as an athlete who has signed a letter of intent to a certain college.  Your time in DEP does not count toward your time in service.

Having said that, you are not an active duty member of the armed forces until you raise your hand and take the oath immediately before shipping off to boot camp.  Until then, you are not subject to the military code of justice.  The military will not send anyone to get you.  There is no effect on your civil record.  You will not be excluded from any government grants or scholarships or other benefits.  If you really want the official written policy, I am sure I can find it on the Internet, but forgive me if I don't want to do that right now.  (I have homework I should be doing.)

Right now you don't have to do anything.  If you don't show up, there is nothing your recruiter can do.  However, I don't believe that is the best thing.  Sure, it is part of your recruiter's job to deal with these things, but at the same time, I'm sure you don't like it when unexpected things happen.  Just as you agreed that you were going to join the Navy on active duty on a certain date, your recruiter and his supervisor also told the Navy that they would provide a trainee both to the Navy and the nuclear training pipeline.  I believe it is common courtesy to let your recruiter know of your situation as soon as possible so that he or she can fulfill his or her word to the Navy that they would have a recruit ready to go on that date.  Well, you get the idea even if what I've said in this paragraph isn't strictly accurate.

My impression is that even if your parents have not brought up the subject, that doesn't mean they have just accepted the fact.  Perhaps you can put it off until the time comes closer for you to graduate, but surely do not wait until the last minute and assume that your parents have accepted your decision.

[snak3y3z1001]

Tomorrow my mom and I are goin to my recruiting station. Hopefully my recruit is able to persaude her to let me stay. 

[ex-SSN585]

Thanks for the update.  Hope everything works out for the best.

If you are in the San Francisco area and your parents need another opinion, I might be able to help.

[HydroDave63]

Tomorrow my mom and I are goin to my recruiting station. Hopefully my recruit is able to persaude her to let me stay. 

Your respect for family is honorable.

Please consider though, that if you feel the need to have family approval of your decision, you are likely not ready to leave home and land for long periods of time, on a ship of war, and go into harm's way.

There are other ways to get into the nuclear industry without the Navy. Many of the Nukeworkers here can tell you how.

[Roll Tide]

Your respect for family is honorable.

Please consider though, that if you feel the need to have family approval of your decision, you are likely not ready to leave home and land for long periods of time, on a ship of war, and go into harm's way.

With support from your immediate family, you will make a fine sailor. A typical thoroughly Westernized American (many generations) would be foolish to go in if he needed his parents approval. Those with strong family ties need their family to be proud (mine was!)

[MMCIcebergDX]

One other thing to consider, if your family wants you to go to school, is that the Nuclear field takes applications for the STA-21 program while you are in training, and with this you can get a full 3 year ROTC Scholarship and become a Naval Officer that way, right now about 1/3 of the student applicants that apply get picked up, and if you get selected as a Staff Pick up at prototype, most of them also get picked up, and the Nuclear program also has seats reserved for it at the Naval Academy, and I know a couple of years ago (I believe that it was when the class of 2005 started at the academy) of the over 1000 students that went to the academy, 101 of them were from the fleet, and of those 101, 64 of them were out of the Nuclear field, either having been selected from training or the fleet, or having been selected for NAPS (Naval Academy Preparatory School) where they took a year of school to prepare them for the Academy, and then were placed in the Academy in the Plebe class.  If your family is concerned about the possibility of education, commission, or just more money, the Nuclear field has all of that for outstanding performers.  If you take the opportunity, there are possibilities for you to get some or all of this.

[madmikegt]

Hello

My name is Michael Nguyen and i justed signed up for the DEP navy im goin in as a Hospital Corpsmen... I dont leave until August 05... My parents dont want me to go.... I already taken the oath.... is there still a way i can get out of the DEP navy program?

[taterhead]

If you reread this thread, you will find the answer to your question.

[halflifer]

Unless things have changed, at least one of your parents had to sign for you to be accepted into DEP, since you are under 18.
The Vietnameese culture I knew placed as high a premium on Honor as they did on Family. For you and they to renege on your word now would've breeched that Honor and brought disgrace on your family. I know it's hard for a parent to watch a child go off into the big bad world, but reassure your mother that if you are to become an adult she can have pride in, you need to meet challenges, make your own way, and above all, be Honorable. There's a lot of truth to the addage that you're only as good as your word.  I've found that knowing the right thing is often a lot easier than doing it.