navy marriage

[kwicslvr]

Here is the one way I have always seen it succed...

two nukes get married,  the misses gets pregnant, after the baby is born one is released from the navy under a hardship discharge.   The Navy decides which one to release but it has generally been the mother.

Saw this happen several times while I was an instructor at prototype.

[alphacookie]

I know that the odds are against us, but I also know that this girl is the one i have to marry. It feels like my whole life has led up to me meeting her. We both know the statistics, and as grim as they are, we dont worry about it because we know we love each other.  We are both 22 and are not a couple of dumb kids ( I am not saying we arent young ) who found someone and just decided to get hitched. We are meant to be and I know it with all my heart.

I felt the same way about a girl I met while in A-school.  She did as well about me...........until she met SSGT "SUPER MARINE".

I am not married to her.

[mlslstephens]

I am in a-school. I have met the girl I want to marry here. She is also in a-school. what is it like for people who get married and are both in the navy. I am a sub vol and she is obviously surface so there is no issue with us being at the same command. Will they work to at least put us in the same location?

Well, it has been over a month.  Please update the forum.

But, if your best interest lines up with the Navy's best interest, then lucky you and the appearance of "caring" is there and everyone is happy.

I agree partially with Justin.  Your best interest wrt getting married is not the Navy's concern.  The Navy, as well as the Army, Marine Corps, Air Force, and Coast Guard has extremely important missions.  Where I disagree with Justin is the last part.  In my command, we aren't in the business of "appearing" to care...we actually do care about the welfare of our people.

[JustinHEMI05]

Well, it has been over a month.  Please update the forum.

I agree partially with Justin.  Your best interest wrt getting married is not the Navy's concern.  The Navy, as well as the Army, Marine Corps, Air Force, and Coast Guard has extremely important missions.  Where I disagree with Justin is the last part.  In my command, we aren't in the business of "appearing" to care...we actually do care about the welfare of our people.

Then lucky you! I on the other hand had one caring command out of 6! I can only speak from my experience. And probably a few thousand others in, passing through, or around the pipeline in the last 3.5 years.

Justin

[hamsamich]

yes, I was in for almost 8 years and it was rare to see actual caring.

[mlslstephens]

There is no secret to caring.

Then lucky you! I on the other hand had one caring command out of 6! I can only speak from my experience. And probably a few thousand others in, passing through, or around the pipeline in the last 3.5 years.

Justin

The Navy isn't a machine.  We are people working with people to accomplish a task comprised of many goals.  The only way the "Navy" will care for its people are for the people to care for their people.  I've been in and out of the "pipeline" several times in my 21 years and have seen all types of comands.  The commands that are successful with high moral are the commands where the communication up and down the chain is effective. 

When I was a blue shirt, I had similar thoughts as you...that the Navy really didn't care about me.  My problem was that I didn't know who the Navy was.  My CO did care about me and everyone else on his sub.

Now, running a command, I see the other side of the story.  Remember the Command Career Boards where every person in the command is briefed to the CO???  Those boards take an enormous amount of time to plan and convene.  Each sailor's career progression is discussed and every sailor is asked, "What do you want?"  Does every sailor get what he wants?  Absolutely not!  A "no" doesn't mean we don't care.

Since I've worn both uniforms, I feel qualified to make this statement.  It is the "Chief's" job to take care of his/her people.  However, the LPOs have the most time with the divisions and this is where I think we can really see if the Navy cares about its people.

Let us not confuse the detailing process with the matter of the care. 

[JustinHEMI05]

There is no secret to caring.

The Navy isn't a machine.  We are people working with people to accomplish a task comprised of many goals.  The only way the "Navy" will care for its people are for the people to care for their people.  I've been in and out of the "pipeline" several times in my 21 years and have seen all types of comands.  The commands that are successful with high moral are the commands where the communication up and down the chain is effective. 

When I was a blue shirt, I had similar thoughts as you...that the Navy really didn't care about me.  My problem was that I didn't know who the Navy was.  My CO did care about me and everyone else on his sub.

Now, running a command, I see the other side of the story.  Remember the Command Career Boards where every person in the command is briefed to the CO???  Those boards take an enormous amount of time to plan and convene.  Each sailor's career progression is discussed and every sailor is asked, "What do you want?"  Does every sailor get what he wants?  Absolutely not!  A "no" doesn't mean we don't care.

Since I've worn both uniforms, I feel qualified to make this statement.  It is the "Chief's" job to take care of his/her people.  However, the LPOs have the most time with the divisions and this is where I think we can really see if the Navy cares about its people.

Let us not confuse the detailing process with the matter of the care. 

I am not confused about anything. You can spin it how you want but I am smart enough to know the difference, and I was smart enough to get out. My PMC summed it up for me, read my little tag line. And to quote the current CO of NPTU Ballston Spa;

"There are three sides to every Blue Shirt's story... their side... their other side... and the truth."

You need to accept the fact that there really are bad commands out there. And from experience, they out number the good commands 5 to 1.

Justin

[mlslstephens]

Justin,
I never questioned your intelligence. 

As for being smart enough to get out...everybody gets out at some point.

My post isn't a spin on anything.  I believe commands and companies have one thing in common and that is people. 

What research did you do to come up with 5 bad commands to 1 good command?  Was that based on your time in the Navy? 

[ExDetailer]

aleafonthewind - PM or email me and I will answer your questions about Co-Location rules.

Let us not confuse the detailing process with the matter of the care.

As always use the detailing process as the scapegoat, but I am off topic.

[mlslstephens]

aleafonthewind - PM or email me and I will answer your questions about Co-Location rules.

As always use the detailing process as the scapegoat, but I am off topic.

Ahh, I see I've hit a nerve.  The key word in my quote is process...not the detailer...or should I say exdetailer. 

[JustinHEMI05]

Justin,
I never questioned your intelligence. 

As for being smart enough to get out...everybody gets out at some point.

My post isn't a spin on anything.  I believe commands and companies have one thing in common and that is people. 

What research did you do to come up with 5 bad commands to 1 good command?  Was that based on your time in the Navy? 

Unfortunately for the Navy, there aren't enough of you around. My 5 to 1 comment is based solely on my experience, like I have said a few times. I had 6 commands... 5 of which were bad... therefore 5 to 1. But, I am willing to bet that for the most part, you will find that true Navy wide. Unfortunately for me though, my 1 good command was my 1st command which is why I was in 3 years longer than I needed to be. But I think we are way off topic now.

Jusitn

[RADBASTARD]

Alot of guys I knew in the navy all married fat chicks,not all but most.

[PWHoppe]

Alot of guys I knew in the navy all married fat chicks,not all but most.

ROFLMAO...One of my Navy buds told me he married the fattest, ugliest chick he could find 'cause he knew she'd never be able to mess around on him while he was at sea

Seemed kinda counter productive to me

[navytwinmom]

Now boys you know if there is a will there is a way...no matter how ugly..fat..skinny..buck toothed..knocked kneed...if they are going to step out on you they will...same goes for the guys!! 

[ddklbl]

Alot of guys I knew in the navy all married fat chicks,not all but most.

The problem was waiting to bring the wife down to the boat until after the bubbas pulled the LET.  She wouldn't fit belowdecks otherwise.

[RADBASTARD]

Or when your crew on the sub went out,she would be screwing the other crew that was in port.
That old blue -gold thing.


Some of those wive's looked like LAND MANATEE'S.

I have to agree with navytwinmom

[PWHoppe]

Now boys you know if there is a will there is a way...no matter how ugly..fat..skinny..buck toothed..knocked kneed...if they are going to step out on you they will...same goes for the guys!! 

I never said his plan worked out, that was just his theory...I saw too many cases where the idea failed, can you say Cafe Del Mar in Groton?

[Mike_Koehler]

Or the Trophy Lounge in San Diego (or the Westerner, EM Club on Coronado etc. etc.)

[Mike_Koehler]

Bottom line is that you need to have a really strong commitment and trust going in or it will never work IMHO.

Mike

[retired nuke]

I never said his plan worked out, that was just his theory...I saw too many cases where the idea failed, can you say Cafe Del Mar in Groton?

Hey, I was thrown outta that joint....

[badger]

Pretty much the only possible way this will work out is if one of you gets out (meaning her for pregnancy)

They don't have to even assign you to the same coast. I know several people who got married as baby nukes and ended up getting stationed on opposite coasts. On top of that, deployment schedules don't necessarily work out. I've seen cases where one goes on deployment only to come back just after the other has left. Both of you, when you're both in port, will likely be working long hours too.

Wait until you both get out to your respective ships before you get married.