geting out of the navy help please

[texasdalton]

i signed the contract for the navy, i havent not left yet tho for boot camp. am i still about to get out of my contract? please someone help

[Motown homey]

Whiskey Tango Foxtrot!  Please write a coherent question if you want an answer.

[texasdalton]

i have signed my contract, but i havnt left for boot camp yet. is it still possible to get out of my contract and not go? is there anything i can do?

[texasdalton]

is it still possible to get out of my contract and not leave for the navy? i was told that until i swore in at boot camp i can still opt out is this true? if not is there anything i can do?

[texasdalton]

i was preasured into the situation and i have realized that its not for me

[texasdalton]

a second time? i swore in once and that was in meps before i signed my contract. can you set the record straight do i go back to meps and swear in again? am i still able to opt out?

[texasdalton]

what are the concequinces? is it dishonerable discharge?

[Smart People]

If you are in DEP then only the second oath counts, that's the one when you are on your way to bootcamp.

Yes, you go to MEPS and swear in again, then off to BC you go.

What has changed your mind?

We have a function on the forum called spellcheck, not all of us are great at using it, but you're making my eyes hurt.

[HydroDave63]

i was preasured into the situation and i have realized that its not for me

Pressured? Were you being waterboarded, shanghaied or ?!

i am leaving in a few weeks for great lakes, and am currently engaged. i am curious what type of lifestyle i will have in the navy being married. how long should i expect to be deployed and away from my wife? also how long till i get to live with my wife after boot camp? and how often do i have time off to spend with my future wife? also do i get weekends off while in power school. im looking forward to enrolling in to the power program and really dont wish to give that up for marriage but also refuse to give up my marriage. i would really appreciate some feedback. thank you

See how things have changed over the past WEEK ??  Part of being a successful sailor and husband is being able to make your own decisions, and live with the accountability. These posts show you are ready for neither.

Reboot...and think hard about how to plan your OWN success. Good people and good things tend to follow...

[alphacookie]

a second time? i swore in once and that was in meps before i signed my contract. can you set the record straight do i go back to meps and swear in again? am i still able to opt out?

Just to clarify publicly.  HoneyComb is correct.  This cloak and dagger stuff is killing me.

Yes, one generally is sworn in twice when they enlist.  One time is when they enlist/sign the contract.  Then you go home on DEP and wait for your ship-out date.  When you return to the MEPS station on your ship-out date, you will be sworn in again.  Once you swear in the second time, you are IN the military.  Prior to that, you are not really in the military.

[Lorrie Henson]

I was 17 when I joined the Army.  Too young to join on my own, my Mom had to sign for me.  But, I was determined because it was what my fiance wanted to do... for both of us to join and live the happy, military life.  I signed up, was on Delayed Entry for 3 months, and then went to Basic Training.  In the meantime, he was still in DEP and was to go active shortly after my Basic was completed.  Only thing is.... he never went.  I guess it was his way of dumping me, and I was so naive as to fall for it.  However, I really enjoyed my military job and was able to see parts of the world that I never would have gotten to otherwise.  So, while he did a horrible thing 'to me', it ended up being for the best.  I was able to mature on my own and without his sorry butt.

Try to make your own decisions and not have them based on a person that may, or may not, be there for you later on.  If she is truly 'the' one, she'll be there no matter what. 

[JustinHEMI05]

Well, if its not for him then its not for him. I for one thank him for not joining "against his will" or any other reason that would not allow him to be a successful navy nuke sailor. I don't really care what his reasons are because, the last thing the NNPP needs, is another troubled kid with baggage.

Justin

[HydroDave63]

Well, if its not for him then its not for him. I for one thank him for not joining "against his will" or any other reason that would not allow him to be a successful navy nuke sailor. I don't really care what his reasons are because, the last thing the NNPP needs, is another troubled kid with baggage.

Justin

for a week!

[withroaj]

Texasdalton, you don't owe it to any of us to explain why you want out, but putting it out here might open you up to some advice on the issue that might help put you in check.

We all had a sweet heart that we left behind to join the military.  Many of us have a new sweetie now (and are REALLY happy that it didn't work out with the girl back home); some are still married to her 20 years later.

Remember that you looked into joining the Navy for a reason that probably wasn't service to God and country.  If I had to guess, I'd say that joining the Navy has more to do with where you're leaving than where you're going.  Don't worry, we all joined up for our own selfish reasons, too.  For many of us, the reason we are still in the Program (be it commercial nuke or NNPP) has nothing to do with the reason we joined.

We all got the little butterflies you are feeling right now in the weeks/months before we shipped to boot camp.  We didn't want to leave our comfortable little environments and our comfortable little sweeties, and we were sure the recruiters pulled a fast one on us.  Just wait until you get off the bus at RTC Great Lakes (which I would strongly encourage you to do unless you just found out you got a full ride for college or have a concrete plan for the future).  Then you will be asking yourself why you joined the military.

All of that fear and anxiety will pass once you get into the groove, and six years down the line you will thank yourself for joining; whether you stay in or get out from that point.

That's one thing I can tell you:  I know some folks back "home" that kick themselves for not getting out of there, but I don't know a single Navy nuke (past or present) that regrets the decision after some years go by.  If you're worried that a relationship will fall apart because you're in the Navy, don't worry.  If you doubt your relationship that much, it'll fall apart even if you don't join.

[withroaj]

Oaths always count,...

You don't take a second oath after the honeymoon,...

Just because nobody holds you accountable, doesn't mean you're not,...

James 5:12
Matt 5:34

I didn't want to open this one up, so I appreciate you doing it, Marssim.  to ya.

Texasdalton, you stood there and raised your damn hand.  You said the oath.  While your posts suggest you have a bit of trouble with the language, I'd imagine you speak English.  That means you had the option to opt out instead of saying your oath of enlistment.  You said the words, right?  I'm pretty sure you even had the option of getting an interpreter if you had trouble with the meaning of it.  You might as well do what you said you would.

It will better for you in the long run if you stick to this one commitment.  I promise.

[JustinHEMI05]

I didn't want to open this one up, so I appreciate you doing it, Marssim.  to ya.

Texasdalton, you stood there and raised your damn hand.  You said the oath.  While your posts suggest you have a bit of trouble with the language, I'd imagine you speak English.  That means you had the option to opt out instead of saying your oath of enlistment.  You said the words, right?  I'm pretty sure you even had the option of getting an interpreter if you had trouble with the meaning of it.  You might as well do what you said you would.

It will better for you in the long run if you stick to this one commitment.  I promise.

This topic is going to stir controversy. Like I said, I think he is doing the right thing getting out of it. To go through with it because of some unfounded and baseless sense of duty is a disaster waiting to happen for him, and the Navy. I have had many people like him come through the pipeline. They are the same people that are surprised when they are told to get a hair cut or shave. They don't fit well into the military and forcing them to because of a meaningless oath isn't going to do anyone any good. If you think he should go through with it, then I suggest we shouldn't have told him of the perils of young marriage entwined with the NNPP. He obviously holds this woman and his relationship higher than anything else in his life, including enlisting the Navy. Who are we to judge and who are you to suggest there will be others? Additionally, he said that he was pressured into it. Seriously, do you want another guy who is going to go through his whole career angry and bitter? God forbid he loses his girl to he program to add to that. Whats the point? To satisfy an empty oath? Sorry, I am throwing the flag on that one.

He is clearly not ready for the military, or life in general.

I say to him don't let the door hit you in the butt on the way out and good luck with you future wife and life. I hope she is everything you have dreamed of because, the very worst thing a person can do is not live up to your expectations.

Justin

[JustinHEMI05]

Oaths always count,...

You don't take a second oath after the honeymoon,...

Just because nobody holds you accountable, doesn't mean you're not,...

James 5:12
Matt 5:34

And that is between he and his Maker. He owes the Navy nothing and the Navy owes him nothing.

Justin

[JustinHEMI05]

Ah yes, he does indeed have his answer and I am willing to bet that he is done with us. So why can't we let the topic take another turn?  

Justin

[JustinHEMI05]

I'm not stopping you.  Just keeping it from going Wildly Off Course.

Swing away Ladies and Gentlemen.

Jason

Verywell. And thank you for your service here.

Justin

[withroaj]

This topic is going to stir controversy. Like I said, I think he is doing the right thing getting out of it. To go through with it because of some unfounded and baseless sense of duty is a disaster waiting to happen for him, and the Navy. I have had many people like him come through the pipeline. They are the same people that are surprised when they are told to get a hair cut or shave. They don't fit well into the military and forcing them to because of a meaningless oath isn't going to do anyone any good. If you think he should go through with it, then I suggest we shouldn't have told him of the perils of young marriage entwined with the NNPP. He obviously holds this woman and his relationship higher than anything else in his life, including enlisting the Navy. Who are we to judge and who are you to suggest there will be others? Additionally, he said that he was pressured into it. Seriously, do you want another guy who is going to go through his whole career angry and bitter? God forbid he loses his girl to he program to add to that. Whats the point? To satisfy an empty oath? Sorry, I am throwing the flag on that one.

He is clearly not ready for the military, or life in general.

I say to him don't let the door hit you in the butt on the way out and good luck with you future wife and life. I hope she is everything you have dreamed of because, the very worst thing a person can do is not live up to your expectations.

Justin

And you make a damn good point, Justin.  To be honest, you are right and I am wrong on this one.  I just don't like to see somebody back out of what would be the best decision a young person could make.

I base my argument on the idea that folks don't usually look to enlist when there are a bunch of other options out there.  True, there are some exceptions to this one.  I know a damn fine Reactor Operator who was born with a silver spoon in his mouth and enlisted to carve his own path.  Did his six in the Navy and went commercial down in South Carolina.  Most of us could have done well in college or elsewhere, but we didn't.  The NNPP opened up a great path, and many of us joined whether we were ready for Navy Nuke life or not.

My "oath" angle was more of a talking point than my true opinion.  I'm not in this game because of any oath I took.  I just happen to uphold it while doing a job I enjoy.  TD - Sorry to get all self-righteous about it.  Make up your own mind, just be sure you balance your wants and needs on this one.

[JustinHEMI05]

And you make a damn good point, Justin.  To be honest, you are right and I am wrong on this one.  I just don't like to see somebody back out of what would be the best decision a young person could make.

I base my argument on the idea that folks don't usually look to enlist when there are a bunch of other options out there.  True, there are some exceptions to this one.  I know a damn fine Reactor Operator who was born with a silver spoon in his mouth and enlisted to carve his own path.  Did his six in the Navy and went commercial down in South Carolina.  Most of us could have done well in college or elsewhere, but we didn't.  The NNPP opened up a great path, and many of us joined whether we were ready for Navy Nuke life or not.

My "oath" angle was more of a talking point than my true opinion.  I'm not in this game because of any oath I took.  I just happen to uphold it while doing a job I enjoy.  TD - Sorry to get all self-righteous about it.  Make up your own mind, just be sure you balance your wants and needs on this one.

Naw its not about being right or wrong. The Oath is important, I agree, but honestly, holding someone to the fire over it isn't going to help us in the end. That is all I am saying. I agree that enlisting in the NNPP is one of the best things he could do for his life, but he obviously has plans for his life that right now, do not include the Navy. Well actually, I guess they never will if he does back out of it. The world of opportunities that would be open to him lose to his other plans. There is nothing wrong with that.

Justin

[DDMurray]

Every situation is different. To me the oath has significant meaning.  My wedding vows, which are in essence, an oath, have significant meaning.  In my opinion, the service can make a weak marriage crumble faster or hide problems that may fester for a long time, until things get ugly very fast.  A strong marriage will always work if both people are commited.  Just my opinion.

In my case, I was struggling to figure out what to do with my life after two years of college and one year of "working".  I decided to join the navy.  My fiance broke up with me because she didn't want a long distance relationship (I had been working away from her about six months prior to this).  I went into DEP.  While in DEP, she decided that being with me part of the time was better than not having me around at all, so we got back together (I can't imagine what she saw in such a slacker, but I'm glad she changed her mind because I'm the luckiest bastard on the face of the earth).

We got married six months later (between A school and Nuke school) and are approaching our 24th wedding anniversary, all in the navy.

Back to the oath(s).  One of the things taking an oath did for me was provide a basis for working through those problems or diversions that cause people to lose focus on the reason they were joining the navy.  In my case, the navy was my last chance (at least I thought so at the time).  I had to suck it up.  My wedding vows are about the same in my eyes.  My wife put her future in my hands (including giving up a full-ride college scholarship).  I love her madly and to this day, I can't sleep the night before I get home from sea because I'm thinking of her (and the home from sea "marital relations").  Doing my best at nuke school and prototype were essential to providing the best I could for my family.

Sorry to ramble on, but I think you need to look at why joined DEP and why you need to get married now.  If you're afraid of the commitment required to succeed at either, you do yourself, and everyone else a disservice.   When you're in nuke school, studying until you can't think straight, and feel like calling it a night because you've made your hours; but you haven't memorized the equations you need to know for the exam tomorrow, will you go home to be with your lonely wife, or will you call her and say, "Honey, I've get to give it another hour so I can pass the exam".  Will you recognize that sacrifice now will allow you to have a higher standard of living later, or will you take the road you always took before the navy and piss away another opportunity?  If you can raise your right hand and take an oath, then back out of it; why should your wife-to-be believe anything you promise her? The honest answers to these should give you the right answer.

The technical answer to getting out of DEP should be in the paperwork.  Your recruiter should be able to answer that, though he will give you an extremely rough time about it.

[withroaj]

... One of the things taking an oath did for me was provide a basis for working through those problems or diversions that cause people to lose focus on the reason they were joining the navy.  In my case, the navy was my last chance (at least I thought so at the time).  I had to suck it up.  ...

I'd say that's more of what I meant when I said "talking point."  You can see my guilty conscience trying to back down from my statements while maintaining a shred of my intended message.

The 'me' I saw a couple hours ago was not the 'me' I've known for the last 25 years.

[Fermi2]

Okay that's your take, but it is my true opinion,...

texasdalton you need to hear this;

there are folks on this forum telling you oaths don't count,...

lemme' see, a six year oath to the Navy versus a total lifetime oath to a woman,...

oh yeah, and any kids that may issue from that union,...

t' dalton if you can't handle six years in the navy, I can assure you, you can't handle a lifetime with the same woman,...

you may not want to try and overextend yourself by doing both at the same time, that's understandable,...

the Navy will not push the issue simply because if you don't want to be there, it's not going to be worth anyones time, that's understandable,...

and lots of people can pooh, pooh oath taking as an outdated notion of honor,...

try falsyfying a rad survey,...

try falsifying on a timecard,...

what does your signature imply?

it implies you're telling the truth when you say this is what I saw, this is what I did, my signature attests to and affirms such, in my name, I swear it,...

don't think so? ask the poor bastard who almost blew the top off the Davis Besse reactor, he was found guilty,...

oaths don't count?!?!

they do in divorce court,...

I wish you joy, happiness and success in whatever you choose to do,...

but slow down and think before you take those big plunges,...

eventually, somewhere, you'll find out, oaths do count,...

THANK YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[JustinHEMI05]

I hope I didn't give the impression that I don't that oaths don't matter. I am a Free Mason for crying out loud... oaths mean everything to me. My only point was that forcing him to stick to this one isn't going to turn out good for either side. But that is neither here nor there, as he doesn't have to stick to this one regardless of what any of us think.

Justin