A Dirty Old Man

[HousePuke]

A middle aged woman decides to have some cosmetic surgery for her birthday.  She spends about $5000.00 and is very pleased with the results.  One day on her way home she stops at a news stand to buy a newspaper.  As she is paying the clerk she says,"I hope you don't mind my asking, but how old do you think I am?"  "About 32" is the reply.  "I'm exactly 47" the woman says happily.  A little while later she is in McDonalds and asks the counter girl the very same question.  "About 29" the girl says.  The woman proudly replies "I am 47 years old".  Now she is feeling very good about herself.  The woman goes into a nearby drug store and is compelled to ask the clerk the same question.  The clerk replies "I'd guess about 30".  The woman is on top of the world at this point.  She leaves the drug store and is waiting for the bus when an old man sits down beside her to wait for the bus.  The woman cannot resist this opportunity and asks the old man "Pardon me sir, but how old do you think I am"?  The old man replies "Lady, I'm 78 years old and my eyes aren't what they used to be".  "I do however have a technique, while somewhat forward, that is a sure way to tell how old you are".  The woman asks him what this mysterious method may be.  The old man says "Well, it requires me to put my hands under your bra.  Then I can tell you exactly how old you are".  They wait in silence until the woman blurts out "Oh, okay.  Go ahead".  The old man slips his hands under her shirt and under her bra.  After several minutes she is getting impatient and says "Isn't that enough to be able to tell my age"?  The old man completes one last squeeze and removes his hands.  "Madam, you are 47 years old".  "That is simply incredible, how can you tell"?  The old man asks her to promise she won't get angry with him and he will reveal his secret.  "No, of course I won't get angry."  He replies, "I was behind you in McDonalds."

[harleygirl]

+karma to you housepuke thanks for the laugh....