How to talk enlistment to Mom?

[Brandon]

Hello all. I know this probably seems like a somewhat immature question for a 20 year old man to ask, but it's been racking my brain for months and I need to ask someone. I took my ASVAB August 2011 after high school and scored a 97, qualifying for Nuke 1a. I'm confident in the fact that if I were to take it again I could equal or pass this score without much difficulty. I've been in University for the last year and I'm enjoying my time there but I know the Navy is the place for me. My mother freaked out when I brought up enlistment the first time, which is why I ended up at University in the first place. My dad fully supports my decision, as he's just retiring after 27 years of active duty starting with enlistment. I'm posting here because I'm desperate for some kind of advice in explaining to my mother that I'm not "wasting my potential/intelligence" if I decide to leave my university and join the Navy. Any advice is deeply appreciated.

[dea]

Since you are happy there stick with university. Check into ROTC, if that's not available you can either enlist or go OCS after you graduate.
As far as talking to Mom, well I kinda just said "leaving tomorrow", didn't go over well.

[Marlin]

Hello all. I know this probably seems like a somewhat immature question for a 20 year old man to ask,

I would not consider concern for a mother's feelings immature for a man of any age. However man-up and be honest, is your father manning up or is he supportive out of earshot? 

[HydroDave63]

Go NUPOC. It's college, and money, and Navy, and nuclear!  

[DLGN25]

After a year and a half in university I enlisted.  I told my folks what I had done over diner.  They turned pale, swallowed, then asked my why.  I told them it was because I wanted to.  Now for them the shock was real, Vietnam was in full swing and until I told them I went Nuke, visions of what they saw on the evening news was flashing through their heads.  They did not like my decision, but eventually accepted it.  (when I finally shipped out)

So if you want to be an operating engineer and get your hands dirty, enlist and go for it.  Otherwise, if it is a nuke career you want, get into an officer program now and finish college.  I always found it more rewarding to hear "Yes Sir", then to have to say it to a junior officer still into his six years of earning the salute.

I left after my enlistment was up as an ETR-1 (yes, back then ETs were either radar or communications and were tested on those specialties, not reactor instrumentation and control etc)  I was 25 years old and married when I went back to finish my degree.  I became an accountant and never second guessed my decision to be a nuke or to enter the business world. 

As long as you excel, your mother will get over it. 

Oh, if you think this is hard, just think of when the time comes and you want to get married only to find your mother does not approve of your choice.

Life was given to you by your parents, what you make of it is entirely up to you.

[Brandon]

Since you are happy there stick with university. Check into ROTC, if that's not available you can either enlist or go OCS after you graduate.
As far as talking to Mom, well I kinda just said "leaving tomorrow", didn't go over well.

Thank you for the response. ROTC is available only for Air Force and Army at my school, and I've kept OCS as my other option. My only problem is that as the days pass I become increasingly more unhappy at university, and I've got another 3 years until I complete my BS. As for your method of conversation, that was my plan last time but she caught on before I could sign! Lol

I would not consider concern for a mother's feelings immature for a man of any age. However man-up and be honest, is your father manning up or is he supportive out of earshot? 

Mama's boy through and through, I'll probably deal with this kind of inner turmoil the rest of my life! And he's certainly being supportive WAY out of earshot LOL

Go NUPOC. It's college, and money, and Navy, and nuclear! 

I've just done some looking into NUPOC, and it sounds like a great program! But it also is labeled "highly competitive" and I'm not sure I'll qualify. I wasn't exactly the most responsible student in my younger years Any knowledge on who I should get into contact with to talk about that?

After a year and a half in university I enlisted.  I told my folks what I had done over diner.  They turned pale, swallowed, then asked my why.  I told them it was because I wanted to.  Now for them the shock was real, Vietnam was in full swing and until I told them I went Nuke, visions of what they saw on the evening news was flashing through their heads.  They did not like my decision, but eventually accepted it.  (when I finally shipped out)

So if you want to be an operating engineer and get your hands dirty, enlist and go for it.  Otherwise, if it is a nuke career you want, get into an officer program now and finish college.  I always found it more rewarding to hear "Yes Sir", then to have to say it to a junior officer still into his six years of earning the salute.

I left after my enlistment was up as an ETR-1 (yes, back then ETs were either radar or communications and were tested on those specialties, not reactor instrumentation and control etc)  I was 25 years old and married when I went back to finish my degree.  I became an accountant and never second guessed my decision to be a nuke or to enter the business world. 

As long as you excel, your mother will get over it. 

Oh, if you think this is hard, just think of when the time comes and you want to get married only to find your mother does not approve of your choice.

Life was given to you by your parents, what you make of it is entirely up to you.

Thank you for your incite! I can only imagine the looks on your parents faces when that came out of your mouth! Your words have helped put things into perspective and definitely given me some things to think about.

[Larrygiro]

I have a nephew going through similar issues.  Some moms just do NOT want to let go of their "precious" baby.  From a hard-nosed viewpoint you are 18 or over and legally responsible for self - just remind her whenever she tries to control.  You probably won't be successful for a while.  This also keeps reminding self to keep  charge of self.

Here are items to consider as you build your own path.

A) go OFFICER via NUPOC or ROTC as this gives you a higher pay for about the same effort - look at the pay and spread of a O-1/O-2 versus E-6/E-7;

B) make sure to talk with an OFFICER nuclear recruiter not an enlisted or regular officer recruiter;

C) complete a 4-year science/engineering degree - preferably - with part of it paid by the Navy;

D) check out the most recent GI Bill - it entitles you to a great set of benefits
when you get out.

Best of Luck

[Gamecock]

D) check out the most recent GI Bill - it entitles you to a great set of benefits
when you get out.

Not true for officers who leave after their initial commitment.  Officers have to serve 3 years beyond their minimum commitment before they earn the GI Bill.

Cheers,
GC

[spekkio]

I've just done some looking into NUPOC, and it sounds like a great program! But it also is labeled "highly competitive" and I'm not sure I'll qualify.

Here's a tidbit: What the Navy considers competitive is not what you might consider competitive.

The Navy's version of "competitive" for NUPOC is a B- (IIRC) or better in a calculus sequence and calculus-based physics sequence, a GPA above something like a 2.7 or 3.0, enrolled in a bachelor's program with at least 60 credits, you are between 19 and 29, and you can pass a PRT. So yea, you need to be getting B's or better in college, which is hard for some people but not for others. I dare say that if you are struggling with getting B's or better in college, you would also struggle in the enlisted nuclear power program and would be miserable. They might be a bit more stringent now because of numbers (maybe the filter is at B+? Gamecock has better info there) but those are near the bare-minimum requirements for entry into the program.

Also, you haven't posted why you want to ditch college to enlist, but as a general rule you should finish school if you are able to.  It will not be more convenient for you to earn a degree 4/6/whatever years from now, I can promise you that. You should also major in something marketable to civilian corporations (not just nuclear power plants), which typically amounts to something technical or in finance. The world outside of academia does not give two craps about your Middle Eastern Cultural studies class or whatever other liberal arts you take, no matter how much your university pitches it.

[Samabby]

" The Navy's version of "competitive" for NUPOC is a B- (IIRC) or better in a calculus sequence and calculus-based physics sequence, a GPA above something like a 2.7 or 3.0, enrolled in a bachelor's program with at least 60 credits, you are between 19 and 29, and you can pass a PRT. "

Calling Mr. Gamecock, is this true? It seems very low to this old guy. 

[Creeker]

I had a similar issue back in 1983.  I was on my own, when I made the decision to join the Navy, and go nuclear.  When I told my mom, she panicked, and offered to let me come home, and to put me through four years of college. (Maybe I should have taken her up on it, as I worked from 1990 to 2006 to finally wrap up my bachelors, off and on, nights and weekends)

Anyway, we had some family friends who had been in the Navy, and knew a good bit about the nuclear navy, and they talked to my mom about what that meant, and that I wasn't throwing my life away. 

I don't know if that would work in your case, if your dad is a 27 year man.  I'd bet your mom knows plenty about the navy from a navy-wife point of view?

Good luck!

[spekkio]

" The Navy's version of "competitive" for NUPOC is a B- (IIRC) or better in a calculus sequence and calculus-based physics sequence, a GPA above something like a 2.7 or 3.0, enrolled in a bachelor's program with at least 60 credits, you are between 19 and 29, and you can pass a PRT. "

Calling Mr. Gamecock, is this true? It seems very low to this old guy. 

The Navy doesn't need geniouses to fight wars and run a nuclear power plant. Never did, never will.

Disclaimer: I quoted what I remember the on-paper requirements to be. What they actually accept is subject to change with the moon depending on the recruiting environment at the time and manning in the fleet.

[GLW]

The Navy doesn't need geniouses to fight wars and run a nuclear power plant. Never did, never will.........

the author himself, is proof itself,....

[MGH]

Enlist, then tell mom

It's really pretty simple. She'll be ok...eventually.

She shouldn't be imposing her will on you anyway...that should stop long before college age.

[Marlin]

Enlist, then tell mom

It's really pretty simple. She'll be ok...eventually.

She shouldn't be imposing her will on you anyway...that should stop long before college age.

I whole heartedly disagree with this advice. 

If you are going to man-up and enlist you can respect your mother enough to man-up and be honest with her. 

[Creeker]

I agree with Marlin...   It sounds like you have a pretty good relationship with both your parents, and taking into account your mothers feelings and concerns, and searching for a way to ease her fears is just being a good son, whether you're 18, or 48.

[GLW]

She shouldn't be imposing her will on you anyway...that should stop long before college age.

true that,........and so should stop the tuition money, gas money, free room and board,etc.,....

[Laundry Man]

true that,........and so should stop the tuition money, gas money, free room and board,etc.,....

I have to agree.  My farther still had a positive influence on me till his death at 84.
LM

[Gamecock]

" The Navy's version of "competitive" for NUPOC is a B- (IIRC) or better in a calculus sequence and calculus-based physics sequence, a GPA above something like a 2.7 or 3.0, enrolled in a bachelor's program with at least 60 credits, you are between 19 and 29, and you can pass a PRT. "

Calling Mr. Gamecock, is this true? It seems very low to this old guy. 

They aren't that low.......yet.

[MacGyver]

Mama's boy through and through, I'll probably deal with this kind of inner turmoil the rest of my life!

Just avoid calls like this one and you'll be fine,,,

[rlbinc]

some kind of advice in explaining to my mother ...

If this is an issue, forget about enlistment.
Mom's right.

[MacGyver]

I'm posting here because I'm desperate for some kind of advice in explaining to my mother that I'm not "wasting my potential/intelligence" if I decide to leave my university and join the Navy. Any advice is deeply appreciated.

If this is an issue, forget about enlistment.
Mom's right.

Or he could tell her this,,,
"We can do this the easy way or the hard way, it's your choice!"

[song of the south]

I may not have a lot of experience in this , but I just have to add my two cents. Disrespecting your mother is not the appropriate way to handle the issue. Be assertive, tell her what you want to do and don't ask her opinion(you already know how she feels). Ask her to be supportive. Women aren't that hard to deal with if your honest and respectful. Grow a pair, but be sweet about it.

[MacGyver]

I may not have a lot of experience in this , but I just have to add my two cents. Disrespecting your mother is not the appropriate way to handle the issue. Be assertive, tell her what you want to do and don't ask her opinion(you already know how she feels). Ask her to be supportive. Women aren't that hard to deal with if your honest and respectful. Grow a pair, but be sweet about it.

That's a pretty good paraphrasing of the article embedded / linked in the photo / quote above.   

[MGH]

It's not about respect...it's about making your own choices...you let your mom make your choices for you and you will wind up in a house across the street from her...mom's are sweet, but don't let them run your life.

Grow a pair and make your own choices. Tell your mom what you are going to do...stop asking for permission...too many people live for someone else...learn to live your own life.

Have fun in the navy and write your mom a lot...